Boy, do I looove you
And God only knows I can’t be the only one
But if I spit those words into your Happy Meal,
I think you might actually start to cry
(He’s not loving it, in fact,
he never could, for it isn’t in his nature to love
Or at least to love me)
Puny, frail things catch your attention left and right
Like the bright colored toys wrapped in plastic
You rip each one of them open and play your games
Of make believe and pretend
Until the first time it falls off the table,
Or into the mud
And you couldn’t give less of a ****
The toy will shed a tear, and you will say it’s being a *****
But I know your double cheeseburger soul
Craves more than what you physically desire
But the guilt of eating unhealthy food
Has never stopped you before
Apr 29, 2018
Apr 29, 2018 at 12:03 PM UTC
The temperature in the room is high
Thick, sweaty bodies grind to the rhythm
As music swells like smoke coming
From the joints being passed around
Laughter fills the air as full as the cups
That clutter her bedroom, like the friends
On her bed, sharing the bench in front of the keyboard,
Making out in her closet, and behind her *****
Shower curtain. She’s faded, just like the rest of them,
But through the clouds of smoke and conversation,
The date circled in black on her calendar
Reminds her of the day her mother fell to her knees
In the middle of the grocery store screaming,
Like the ****** girl who hears a funny joke
In the background, after getting a phone call
That would rewrite the date, no longer a stoner’s holiday,
But the same day as seven years before, when her mother,
Once in the car, continued hyperventilating, no passerby
Stopping to help, or to ask the twelve-year-old girl
What was wrong, like her friends who try to do so
Now as she stands and picks a picture off the shelf
Her aunt in it, alive, and kissing her cheek. /Are you okay?/
A hand comforts her shoulder. /I think I’ll smoke a little more./
She loses the staring contest and hands the picture back to the shelf.
-E (c) 2018
Apr 23, 2018
Apr 23, 2018 at 10:43 PM UTC
We walk out the black back door
With the broken glass window
At the warrant of a smoke
I let you lead me into the dark outside
Through the yard of twisting,
Tall sculptures made of tires,
Bottles, barbed wire, and foam
You grab my hand and fit me
Beside you in the circle consisting
Only of artists, some of whom
Stand, some of whom sit on old
Couch cushions, or lawn chairs
Which have been decaying
Underneath the wet, ***** snow
We, the huddled mass of jean
Jackets, knitted scarves, and nihilism,
Pass around a legal joint and cigarettes
Whose smoke rises into the fog
Of a mid-November midnight
As we freeze, and add laughter
To the hum of cars whizzing past
On the one-way side of 2nd Street
You and I find our place among
The artists, on a chair not once
Built with the intention of sustaining
The weight of two, but you ask
If I’ll sit on your lap anyway
And more than willingly, I oblige
We are now a part of this crowd—
The Burning Man drop-outs,
Too cool for our own selves
We shiver and vibrate in time
To the neon, changing streetlights
And not-too-far-off police sirens
And it is here, in your lap, surrounded
By the rubble of an artist’s junkyard
I look up and mouth /I love you/
And you mouth it silently back
-E (c) 2018
Apr 16, 2018
Apr 16, 2018 at 1:26 PM UTC
I can't be anything I thought I'd be
Because I'll **** myself by 23
At least that's what I've said to myself everyday
Since you went away, I lost myself
The view from here is so unclear
I can feel the end is drawing near
And even though I've lost your touch, my dear
Your handprint lives here on my heart
Psychologically, I'm damaged goods
Physically, I am breaking down
I'm a self fulfilling prophecy,
If it's meant to be, it'd start now
But we are all just floating around here
Out in space, we cannot count the hours
There's no time to start anything new,
My dear, we're through, now
Because psychologically, I'm damaged goods
Physically, I am breaking down
I'm a self fulfilling prophecy,
If it was meant to be,
It would have started by now
I'm tired of saying that I'm fine
I'm tired of tallying the tries
And baby you are fading from view,
We are through, but it's gonna be alright
-E (c) 2017
Jun 12, 2017
Jun 12, 2017 at 3:00 AM UTC
I once stayed up until four in the morning, waiting for my lover, who is in a band, to get done with his set. He said I'd only have to wait until three, but, at 3:50am, sent me a text telling me that these girls had taken him to dinner, and unless I wanted to wait another hour, it wasn't going to happen. When I told him not to worry about it, he said "For sure. Sorry to keep you waiting. I hope these people are worth it, sexually." and he laughed. It's fine, though. I don't love him. Right?
-E (c) 2017
Jun 12, 2017
Jun 12, 2017 at 2:49 AM UTC
And I know you didn't do this for me, but it's the fact you made it seem like you cared
I know you didn't do it for me, but it gives me hope that something is there
I believe in the Buddha and communism, I love listening to classic Cher
Believe me when I say I'm looking for someone who's gonna care
-E (c) 2017
Apr 15, 2017
Apr 15, 2017 at 1:46 AM UTC
When I say I want
To **** myself, please do not
Take it so lightly
-E (c) 2017
Apr 6, 2017
Apr 6, 2017 at 3:01 AM UTC
I'm sorry that I look away every time I catch your glance
But I got hurt so badly the last time I took a chance
I know it sounds cliche but I can't fall into your trance
I can't allow myself to be anything more than an acquaintance
But you're so beautiful
So beautiful
And if I wasn't so ****** I probably could love you
If you wanted me to
You're so beautiful
And love at first sight might not be love at all
I know you have my number, but you probably won't call
The anticipation's enough to make my flesh crawl
I've never felt so tiny, no I've never felt so small
But you're so beautiful
So beautiful
And if you weren't across the room I could probably love you
If you wanted me to
Because you're so beautiful
And I love you
Yes I love you
Your eyes are kind and large
I have to fight the urge
To walk over
I won't walk over
-E (c) 2017
Mar 18, 2017
Mar 18, 2017 at 3:39 AM UTC
Dreams ****
Because you can have a dream
Where a boy kisses you
And you really, really like that boy in real life
Just to wake up
And realize that he didn't actually sleep over
He didn't actually post a video of you guys kissing for the first time on YouTube (?)
You were just
Dreaming
-E (c) 2017
Mar 16, 2017
Mar 16, 2017 at 11:15 AM UTC