my autumn promised me
one last great fall
and boy, did hell freeze over to shine
on me inevitably dropping this ball
and so it was
and i take solace that it's over
i'm free of this heartache
this cost of one hard-lessoned October
no more turmoil
no more heavy heart
i know what i did, i've learned and i'll pay
i have and will beg for a fresh start
to prove how much i love you
to show you no other way
to make this right in any form,
and enact for you that i will never stray
some will always doubt
some think i'm a cause never to be found
some will bury all their concerns
while some will cast me down
this is my cross to bear
and i want you to always know
you are worth every breath i have
and i have never, ever felt so low
whatever you choose
in this moment, today or tomorrow
i'm just glad you came into my life
and i never meant you sorrow
i'm sorry i ever hurt you
i'm sorry it couldn't be different then
i'm sorry i can't be good enough
to match you, a perfect ten
but i'll do whatever now
so you never have the burden to think
of those all those "remember when's....?"
or all that could have been's...
i love you, bobott.
Nov 9, 2014
Nov 9, 2014 at 11:59 PM UTC
i love to write
and pour my soul
into all i know and all i feel
but the urge is diminished
when the pieces just fit
when the day is done
and the world just works
and i'm all gratitude
with not a burden to write of
it's strange
it's because i'm content
some semblance of happy
from the peace i found
from letting it go
letting bygones be bygones
letting others control themselves
letting things work out
letting things fall through the cracks
letting the space take its time
letting the moments go by
letting the world turn
letting the waves roll
letting the clouds float
letting the rain pour
letting the sun shine
letting me be me
in all my glories
and all my fails
it was time to be different
than all that wallowing and gloom
and i'm still trying to find
just what changed in me
to turn my life around
and right now i know
it's a beautiful day
to talk about beautiful things
through the words i create
in this beautiful sentiment
that i call my own poem
it's about time i wrote one
that has some uplifting
to remind myself
to keep this just for today
with promise for tomorrow
Sep 28, 2014
Sep 28, 2014 at 5:25 PM UTC
long, hot days
and long, hot moments
give way
to me searching,
reveling,
for my atonement
it's never been fair
or ever been right
it's just so hard to care
when i keep it
long, far away,
and no where near sight
i've been carrying this
i may always will
this nonchalant tryst,
not over this.
because looks like these could ****
and so i roll on
some later day
will give way
to when the pawn...
Sep 26, 2014
Sep 26, 2014 at 11:59 PM UTC
my mind is wheeling
my thoughts are peeling
my brain is creaking
my synapses are snapping
my feelings are fleeting
my reality is reeling
...so nothing is really as it seems
i insist, to ponder this, all in tonight's dreams...
Sep 17, 2014
Sep 17, 2014 at 1:48 PM UTC
can someone like me be wrong?
what if
my wrong answer
was just that wrong all along?
because i want to shove you away
say **** off" or "don't"
before you ever
had a chance to say
that you love me or
you will stay
or not stray or
whatever the **** helps you not be alone
was it really just me?
was i all in your mind?
do you stalk me?
do you care?
whatever
my heart hurts
and it, i guess
it really doesn't matter
so i'll look away
but not tomorrow
tomorrow you are still real
and tomorrow, uhm, i'm too busy
because tomorrow i have planned for me
while you have her
and isn't that funny?
because i will always have me,
but maybe you won't
the day after that
or the day after that...
Aug 14, 2014
Aug 14, 2014 at 12:30 AM UTC
i'm one lost little girl
but maybe i'm in my place
you wouldn't know, wouldn't care
what's left behind this pretty face
and some people do
some people look at me
with such heartfelt love
and admiration
like i'm some angel
that's come from high above
but what about me?
what makes me so special?
what makes me nervous?
and, what, exactly, makes you think i will call?
i've fallen from grace,
can't you see?
i've terminated my soul
there's no brianna left to be
so **** off
but you won't
and i'll be who you want me to be
i'll live this life with you
until i don't
Aug 13, 2014
Aug 13, 2014 at 1:50 PM UTC
i have found myself on auto-pilot
there's nothing i have to do
or i could
i could be anybody
doing anything or
i don't have to do anything i should
it's a dangerous game
these risks surely not worth the weigh
yet i know the rules
i'm good at it
i know how to get away
and that's just the start
not even the scariest part
so reckless
so purposeful
so damaging in any light
i press forward without thought
who cares what is your wrong
or what is your right
i'm making mistakes
i'm ******* up on purpose
it's all i could do
to change my entire apparatus
i'm somebody
and yet nobody
at least that anyone is to admire
i'm just me and today
i have no problem playing with fire
Jul 29, 2014
Jul 29, 2014 at 11:40 PM UTC
one bite,
one touch...
what **the **** was i thinking?
Jul 21, 2014
Jul 21, 2014 at 11:31 PM UTC
one, two, three, four...
oops.
already ran out of sheep.
Jul 19, 2014
Jul 19, 2014 at 3:59 AM UTC
**** you
look in the mirror
you're no matyr or victim
you have the world to fear
i'll pull you off your cloud
with the noose of my own
the one i meant for myself
but **** the true colors you've shown
i've been fine without you
it's been done before
and you couldn't possible be
the only man i could adore
so go have your beer
or two or three
while i write a few lines
that sets this addict free
if these vows meant a thing
or if you care for me at all
you would have helped me back up
instead of watching me fall
so i mean this with all my heart
and remember it with everything you do
you pull what you pulled with me tonight
and i promise we will be threw
oh yeah, and **** you too
Jul 18, 2014
Jul 18, 2014 at 12:06 AM UTC