Every smile I have ever seen
seems to find me through out my dreams
I can not always recognize who they belong to
but I know they were once meant for me
that's when I get my best sleep
Every hand that has touched mine
turns to callouses after time
every breath that has crashed into me
is one more breath I get to breathe
Everything I experience leaves a mark on me
When some one leaves your life
there can be residual effets that keep you up at night
Nov 9, 2025
Nov 9, 2025 at 12:57 AM UTC
"Dear God,
I seen the fear in her eyes
our sweet baby girl is scared
please allow her to be spared
from whatever spirit is there
she is a beautiful bright lamp
that mustn't be put in a basket or under the bed (luke 8:16)
her heart is over worked and over stressed
the worry and fear circles in her head
That girl is a lily amongst thorns
she is my darling amongst the other women (song of Solomon 2:2)
she must be protected
allow her to accept this hardship
as a pathway to her peace
Amen"
Jan 1, 2025
Jan 1, 2025 at 7:08 PM UTC
I looked at her as if she didn't matter to me
and let her sit outside of my place in the snow
it was 26 degrees
only because she felt safe being near me
How do I reconcile someone doing me wrong?
when that person is the only one I want
I sat in the warmth of my apartment knowing she was freezing cold
what kind of person am I if the one I love is suffering, shivering, and alone?
Is my pride that important?
Is my ego that fragile?
She might have strayed
lest I forget that she came back?
I thought I should ignore her
but the more I tried the more I couldn't
after two hours, I thought she had left
but she refused to
so I let her in and took care of her
Like I was always supposed to
Dec 30, 2024
Dec 30, 2024 at 9:18 PM UTC
If my heart ever skips a beat
it is because you moved to far from me
If I ever lose my breath
it is because I gave you the ones that I had left
when we dance and you step on my feet
it is because you can't help but move too close to me
When I go to sleep
you are the blanket being thrown on me
and when I awake not feeling well
you are the medicine I will take.
Nov 17, 2024
Nov 17, 2024 at 10:06 PM UTC
I search the night for a spiritual experience
every night
I use my days to justify that experience
and every night
I try to forget that I do this
pissy in a room with four walls
that I cannot believe that I am still in
a cobble stone path I walk
the stones are land and everything else is lava
I hope I do not fall in
It is hard to be who you will be
when you spend all of your years
only analyzing who you have been
maybe happiness is not something to obtain
but a mere reflection of ones personality
it probably hurts to be you
just like it hurts to be me
but there is no reason not to be
constantly smiling
knowing we are all on a rock
constantly spinning
It's foolish to believe this is the ending
Maybe we are just walking towards our beginning
Nov 11, 2024
Nov 11, 2024 at 2:16 AM UTC
there is a couple of me
and a couple of everyone else
wandering through the streets
unknowingly searching for their other selves
the wrong one of me
found the right one of you
and I should apologize
for wasting your time
I made rain in a room
while the night brightened the moon
enhancing my reality with clouds
hoping my thoughts would take me to you
I believed that I deserved that gloom
it was alcohol and the blues
that fed the meaningless fuse
leading me to find the right one of me
that might still be searching for the right one of you
Nov 11, 2024
Nov 11, 2024 at 2:09 AM UTC
she kept a three leaf clover on the dash of her car
when I asked her for the reason
she just smiled and said
"they are everywhere and I like that
because four leaf clovers are scary.
what happens if you find one, then lose it.
that terrifies me"
I did not realize then
that she was telling me something
I should have just walked away
but it seems
that I might be just as crazy
and in a shady spot on King street
she was who I wanted her to be
while she thought I was who she wanted me to be
it can be quite funny
what the late night can bring
stray cats roaming the streets
searching for warmth and a bite to eat
and there's a beautiful girl sleeping next to me
Nov 11, 2024
Nov 11, 2024 at 2:04 AM UTC
When god calls me home
I hope it is a long enough walk-
to think of what I would say to him
I hope I can remember every sin
to properly ask for forgiveness
And I know...
God already knows everything
But I feel obligated to be honest
what if I get to that door and it doesn't open?
I never had to ask permission -
to walk in my grandparents house
they would be offended if I asked
that's how I always imagined -
what heaven is
But what if I were a stranger-
knocking on another strangers door
would they let me in?
Oct 24, 2024
Oct 24, 2024 at 1:21 AM UTC
I seen the mark of the beast
in the reflection of the sunlight in her hair
as she sat between my legs facing away from me
on a blanket I laid upon the ground
and the sudden breeze freaked me out
she changed things without making a sound
from outside of my body
I watched her morph into my greatest burden
and I was sitting there doing nothing
just like a good little german
as if I am secretly jewish
and she has already started the burning
but she knows who I am
and she forced me to show her
over and over again
she was like a little feline friend
running her hand of knives across my skin
fighting through my thorny ribs
she plucked out a black little berry
and I watched as the juice stained her lips
leaving me as vacant as I have ever been
and the mind of myself I found myself in
I know now what I did not know back then
that I would stay the same but never be the same again
the sound of a light switch could trigger
a three day alcohol ******
that would end with the contour of my face
pressed into my car fender
those were strange days I wish I could return to sender
or at the least not remember
to her no harsh thought is thrown
instead I build shrines for her in my head
she became places that I go
curse my photographic memory
for this is a very scenic road
Oct 10, 2018
Oct 10, 2018 at 2:09 AM UTC
the scared skin of the sky
bends and folds
as our breathing passes though it
it exists after it is gone
there is a blanket between us and the ceiling
we pass a candle back and forth
and that sweet, sweet feeling
set in real nice as I shut my door
we threw my collection of gems at the light bulb
and we missed every time
we made dinosaur shaped shadow puppets
until it became day time
feeling cool for a moment
keeps me on this planet
looking you in the eye for just a minute
I am not sure that I am strong enough to stand it
Jul 29, 2016
Jul 29, 2016 at 12:19 AM UTC