I came here to drown my sorrows
but they're resilient little ********
and always find a way
of swimming back to the surface
Sep 21, 2013
Sep 21, 2013 at 9:58 PM UTC
When you told me you were pregnant
I was on the verge of passing out
I was high on pills and coke
And other stuff I shouldn’t be writing about
So then you started packing
You were leaving for good this time
And though my eyes were closed
I knew half the **** you took was mine
I could have told you that I loved you
Found some words to make you stay
But the drugs had silenced my tongue
And soon after that everything went gray
I dreamt I was on an island
A paradise surrounded by the sea
Finally I had found the peace within
While hidden from the rest of humanity
Suddenly I saw a parade of beautiful women
Best described by what they didn’t wear
And because it was my fantasy
I was surprised to see you were there
I awoke during the night
At first I thought that I was blind
Then I realized you stole my lamps
You only left the stuff you couldn’t carry behind
I had to stumble around in the dark
Searching through my apartment for a fix
But you had flushed my stash down the toilet
You could never resist being a *****
I finally found enough to get me by
Then played hide and seek with my veins
I shot up but was immediately brought down
Because all I could think of were baby names
I remembered the hopes I had as a boy
Versus the man I eventually became
My child would accomplish very little
If he was forced to share my last name
Why did you think I’d want to be a father?
Did you think it would matter or that I’d care?
Your announcement failed to shock me
I’m always too detached and self-aware
Were you ****** up when you chose me?
Never sober enough to leave?
Did you think you could change me?
You’re too strung out and too naive
Forever fooled by an addiction
That brings you to your knees
Now fated to give birth to a baby
That will share its mother’s disease
Mar 2, 2013
Mar 2, 2013 at 9:46 PM UTC
We sat together in your bedroom
Watching lesbian ****
You salivated at the grotesque display
Of the spread channel from which you were born
You once told me you were disgusted
By the male physique
You showered with your eyes closed
Or risked gagging over the bathroom sink
Among the girls you were popular
They stared at you to pass their day
Your mind was filled with their numbers
My mind filled with words I couldn't say
Senior prom snuck up on us
But you found a beautiful date, indeed
I asked an ugly girl to accompany me
And out of pity she agreed
We danced in the converted gym
Under a gaudy mirrored ball
I was stuck between you and her
With my back up against the wall
Afterwards we went to your house
Your parents were away
And their unlocked liquor cabinet
Only heightened our desire to play
Our dates removed their prom gowns
Then helped us get undressed
We drank till we couldn't stand
And fell to the floor in a heap of flesh
I finally saw you naked
A beauty my eyes could hardly see
You were a God among mere mortals
And even lesser men like me
My date's eyes were filled with lust
And I smelled the alcohol on her breath
I performed the perfunctory motions
And sank into her depths
As your date's head bobbed under the blanket
Your moans of pleasure steadily increased
I was energized by your proximity
Which was the sole reason for my release
We left our dates to sleep
Within their sated bliss
Already you wanted another girl
You could ***** and then dismiss
In the kitchen we finished the bottle
And talked of our recent conquests
Together we shared crude jokes
Made at the expense of the opposite ***
An awkward pause followed
And you gazed into my eyes
I felt the alcohol take effect
And placed my hand upon your thigh
Your mouth then met mine
And our tongues were lost within
Your hands trembled as they explored my chest
You didn't know where to begin
In a mirror you caught your reflection
And fell from my embrace
You said I was disgusting
And spit right in my face
In anger you pushed me away
Asking for forgiveness I dropped to my knees
You said that soon everyone would know about me
Because in this town gossip spread just like disease
At home it hit the hardest
I was my mother's boy no more
My father called me a disgrace
And kicked me out the door
Rejected by friends and family
I have no reason to stay
I'll buy a ticket to another town
Somewhere I can keep my memories at bay
I'll rent out an apartment
And decorate my pastel painted walls
I’ll furnish my new life with a phone
That I know you'll never call
I'll find myself a new group of friends
Someone who understands
The exquisite pain of being
Of falling in love with an ignorant man
I wish that my dreams
Weren't haunted by your face
I wish that I could fall asleep
Without clutching a pillow in your place
I'll listen to bitter love songs
Because on pain I can rely
I'll learn to hide my emotions
And laugh when I really want to cry
May 9, 2012
May 9, 2012 at 8:54 PM UTC
Poems are useless
Though some people read them
They’re either trying to be romantic
Or pseudo-intellectual
Or they just like it
When words
Are formatted
Like
This
Words are useless
You can’t eat them
Or **** them
And despite what you may think
Words will not keep you company
Books are useless
Like clothes several sizes too big
You can only disappear into them
When you have given up on life
There will always be a good book
Lying around
Jan 22, 2012
Jan 22, 2012 at 3:38 PM UTC
This is one of those serious poems
And yet it has nothing new to say
But the poet needs to keep himself busy
And writing seems to be the easiest way
The poet rises up on his soapbox
Because he works better from an elevated height
He screams about organized religion, politics
And stripping away of our basic human rights
Like a magician with a classic misdirection
The poet wraps his moralizing in purple prose
He hits you over the head with one simple point
That he’s forgotten more than you’ll ever know
Around the time of the nineteenth obscure reference
The reader is in awe of his far-reaching knowledge
Then the poet overuses polysyllabic words
Just to prove he went to a good college
And the poet keeps filling up the notebooks
Even though he should have stopped long ago
But the publisher agreed to pay by the word
So unfortunately, there’s four more stanzas to go
Quickly, the release date approaches
There’s one printing, then two, then three
And the poem becomes a hit in coffee shops
Recited by grad students in between bites of biscotti
His face now graces the cover of every magazine
In an explosion of exuberant media admiration
Dozens of talk show appearances are scheduled
For the newly crowned “voice of our generation”
The publisher decorates the dust jacket with blurbs
Complimenting the book’s “dangerously original rhymes”
But it’s nothing more than passing hyperbole
Gathered from a glowing review in The New York Times
Now thousands grasp the paperback edition
And eagerly await the feature film adaptation
Meanwhile, the poet hunches over his typewriter
And commits more sententious literary ************
Jan 8, 2012
Jan 8, 2012 at 3:18 PM UTC
You excuse yourself from the party
And sneak off to the second floor
You hide out in your bedroom
And double-lock the door
The taste of birthday cake still lingers
That stupid song rings in your ears
Downstairs your guests are having fun
Though their host is not how she appears
You reach underneath your bed
And grab a box that’s made from tin
Shaking hands quickly remove
The sharp instruments held within
The tools of a sacred ceremony
That follows the emotional drain
The ****** ritual of release
The catharsis brought by pain
You grab the hem of your skirt
And raise it up past your waist
You stare down at battered legs
Milky white flesh you’ve defaced
A terrain map of your body
A reminder of who you are
Some may prefer a tattoo
But nothing lasts like a scar
Each memory is a torturous cell
Trapping you in an inescapable past
The pain and suffering that never ended
And the happiness that wouldn’t last
Ignorance may be bliss for some
But it comes with a price too steep
So relive those nights in your father’s bed
When he made you cry yourself to sleep
Soon you’ll make your way downstairs
And blend in seamlessly with the crowd
That fabricated air of optimism
Is the mask that acts as your shroud
A smile, a laugh or a smirk
False gestures you convey
You find it so easy to lose yourself
Inside the character you portray
Reality is too difficult for some
The real Sarah they can never know
You only do this for their own good
So let’s get on with the show
Jan 2, 2012
Jan 2, 2012 at 12:12 PM UTC
You awaken in the cardboard box
That you refer to as your home
The dawn is barely breaking
And already you feel alone
A ****** bath in a public restroom
Then you’re ready to start your day
Layers of stage makeup hide the wounds
Of the lead in this lack of morality play
First up is the sadistic businessman
He knows the drugs you need
But it comes with one condition
That he gets to see you bleed
With his one hand around your throat
And the other grabbing your breast
He takes whatever looks good
And leaves you with the rest
You straighten out your dress
And try to wipe yourself clean
You’re helped back to your feet
By a schoolboy of age seventeen
He's skipped his classes for the day
And borrowed his mother's van
Now he’ll gladly pay your fee
If you'll make him into a man
It’s all over before it begins
A symptom he can't control
You can barely feel it anyway
Numb in both body and soul
At night you meet your ****
And give the devil his due
You willingly submit to him
As he runs you through
You retreat to the cardboard box
That you refer to as your home
The moon is heavy in the sky
And you can finally be alone
Your lips wrap around the pipe
The smoke molests your lungs
And slowly you begin to forget
The world that you came from
You once dreamt of a white knight
That would come and take you away
Now seen as only vestiges
Of a young girl’s naiveté
Dignity is a memory
An illusion from your past
Like pleasure or happiness
A feeling you could never grasp
You once thought you’d hit rock bottom
But there was so much further left to fall
You were filled with unknown fears
But now you’ve named them all
Add up the rocks they pay
As you break their last taboo
And the secrets that they share
When they’re deep inside of you
A normal person would go insane
But your body is no longer yours
Are you less than human now?
One of a thousand nameless ******
You wonder if they see a woman
Or just another object on her knees
You could show them who you really are
But that’s not what they pay you to be
Jan 1, 2012
Jan 1, 2012 at 5:08 PM UTC