boyonthebluemoon - Hello Poetry

APEIROPHOBIA: [n.] the fear of infinity or infinite things. — you are love at the end of the world, something spelled without a glottal plea the stars on my crown hang heavy tonight and i’ve barely slept for an hour but my mind drifts off to weary constellations and i sometimes wonder if we were aligned at all you, vague hurt, you, toothache in the middle of a birthday party you, a love like no other and running without wolves to guide our journey, the forest scratches every inch of bare skin and i would cry out if you hadn’t done the same to me in your restless tossing and turning, there is love in your eyes but no love in the blood you make me bleed there is still something left to be said. but my mouth is dry and full of sand, kiss it and catch a fly on the wall, smear ointment on its wings and maybe i’ll tell you about how i feel and it isn’t a good one, it isn’t a love i towed beyond fathoms of seawater and across miles of irradiated coastlines, it isn’t me, count the distance and end up with infinity in one sitting, infinity with end, infinity to beg you of love beg me of a message unclear, home sweet home it’s better than nothing. the woozy way i walk into the ocean with a pocket full of rocks and a mind full of bitter sloshing around, is better than nothing, love it’s better than everything love because it’s something i still wish to keep, wish on a nebulae cluster that doesn’t exist the second you force yourself to breathe out, screams no comforting the choir, i’ll drape mine around your bruised shoulders and shake both of them softly until i’ve killed half the universe with my hubris, until we’ve killed off every erstwhile incandescence just to look a little off-kilter, early morning, i’ve never felt better despite never finding out what repose meant the sky is red at sunrise and then what and then we, and then we feel fine you are love at the end of the world, and i am ready to struggle for survival. invite me into your rose-tinted apocalypse and allow me to decide a fate which was never mine to rewrite it’s nothing it’s better than nothing love

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Feb 28, 2022

Feb 28, 2022 at 2:07 PM UTC

a toast to apeirophobia

APEIROPHOBIA: [n.] the fear of infinity or infinite things. — you are love at the end of the world, something spelled without a glottal plea the stars on my crown hang heavy tonight and i’ve barely slept for an hour but my mind drifts off to weary constellations and i sometimes wonder if we were aligned at all you, vague hurt, you, toothache in the middle of a birthday party you, a love like no other and running without wolves to guide our journey, the forest scratches every inch of bare skin and i would cry out if you hadn’t done the same to me in your restless tossing and turning, there is love in your eyes but no love in the blood you make me bleed there is still something left to be said. but my mouth is dry and full of sand, kiss it and catch a fly on the wall, smear ointment on its wings and maybe i’ll tell you about how i feel and it isn’t a good one, it isn’t a love i towed beyond fathoms of seawater and across miles of irradiated coastlines, it isn’t me, count the distance and end up with infinity in one sitting, infinity with end, infinity to beg you of love beg me of a message unclear, home sweet home it’s better than nothing. the woozy way i walk into the ocean with a pocket full of rocks and a mind full of bitter sloshing around, is better than nothing, love it’s better than everything love because it’s something i still wish to keep, wish on a nebulae cluster that doesn’t exist the second you force yourself to breathe out, screams no comforting the choir, i’ll drape mine around your bruised shoulders and shake both of them softly until i’ve killed half the universe with my hubris, until we’ve killed off every erstwhile incandescence just to look a little off-kilter, early morning, i’ve never felt better despite never finding out what repose meant the sky is red at sunrise and then what and then we, and then we feel fine you are love at the end of the world, and i am ready to struggle for survival. invite me into your rose-tinted apocalypse and allow me to decide a fate which was never mine to rewrite it’s nothing it’s better than nothing love

20

leaving grief. and i—i now remember why i should never have allowed anyone to get under my buckling skin for fine friends are only fine, friends until they know the perfect way to damage the stillborn remnants of what you hold on to them, without patience, distraught, you; promises of finding someone better overhearing a devotion that cannot possibly be true only useful in the event of an epiphanic letdown i love you but why have i loved you did i love you because you were kind for five seconds and it was only fair to bleed when it should not be enough did you not love me because i wasn’t enough or because you knew i was nothing to be proud of? from knowing too much, trusting too well follies and fey melodies for a final disconnect i loved you never mean what you say say anything to say anything to say anything to say sorry. your smug conversation is one i carry still with me even as the tactile memory of you burns and my singed skin curls into the shape of an old friend who never cared. i never remember to forget they’ll always be there until they aren’t leaving, grief, and i—i no longer wish for a happier end i only wish there was a softer way to recover.

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Jan 29, 2022

Jan 29, 2022 at 5:17 PM UTC

misguided

leaving grief. and i—i now remember why i should never have allowed anyone to get under my buckling skin for fine friends are only fine, friends until they know the perfect way to damage the stillborn remnants of what you hold on to them, without patience, distraught, you; promises of finding someone better overhearing a devotion that cannot possibly be true only useful in the event of an epiphanic letdown i love you but why have i loved you did i love you because you were kind for five seconds and it was only fair to bleed when it should not be enough did you not love me because i wasn’t enough or because you knew i was nothing to be proud of? from knowing too much, trusting too well follies and fey melodies for a final disconnect i loved you never mean what you say say anything to say anything to say anything to say sorry. your smug conversation is one i carry still with me even as the tactile memory of you burns and my singed skin curls into the shape of an old friend who never cared. i never remember to forget they’ll always be there until they aren’t leaving, grief, and i—i no longer wish for a happier end i only wish there was a softer way to recover.

26

twitchy sniffly noses silky bracelets woven a sennight of whispers and soft rains fallen bones strident ringing skins slow submerging bloodshot eyes and star-shot skies and cheekbones shrouded in staling chlorine sneaking syrup smiles under honey gold four tonics drowned to fight off the cold and fast fortune-telling for finites foretold trace the lines and face the folds, please hold both palms closer but leave them closed twitchy ditzy fingers ***** rings unspooled a sennight of stories and sinking in pools bones washed in phenol skins slick like ferrule bloodshot minds and star-shot why’s and wisteria lips speckled in the warmest shade of cool.

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Jan 26, 2022

Jan 26, 2022 at 8:01 PM UTC

swimming lessons

twitchy sniffly noses silky bracelets woven a sennight of whispers and soft rains fallen bones strident ringing skins slow submerging bloodshot eyes and star-shot skies and cheekbones shrouded in staling chlorine sneaking syrup smiles under honey gold four tonics drowned to fight off the cold and fast fortune-telling for finites foretold trace the lines and face the folds, please hold both palms closer but leave them closed twitchy ditzy fingers ***** rings unspooled a sennight of stories and sinking in pools bones washed in phenol skins slick like ferrule bloodshot minds and star-shot why’s and wisteria lips speckled in the warmest shade of cool.

30

come wash your sin with me, i am a flightless soul covered in gossamer i am love in the form of locks you cannot unchain with bared teeth and bare skin and the blade of the twisted dagger strapped against your thigh i adore your spirit but i do not adore you. i am a capricious madness drink me to excess if you so wish me to be—a cold chestful of chemical smoke a sink full of the remnants of an unborn child, eject me i am unwanted, i am a wanted hallelujah with a swollen-gum smile in every lithographed dead or alive poster, please save me please buy black water lilies for my funeral the priest won’t attend please let the worms make homes out of my gaping throat, and i shall whisper unto you. one last time. it will be done unto your will without wisdom i am corruption in the form of conscience i am the riptide washing away your firstborn son with the taste of ****** verona.

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Jan 23, 2022

Jan 23, 2022 at 5:01 PM UTC

violent delights have violent ends

come wash your sin with me, i am a flightless soul covered in gossamer i am love in the form of locks you cannot unchain with bared teeth and bare skin and the blade of the twisted dagger strapped against your thigh i adore your spirit but i do not adore you. i am a capricious madness drink me to excess if you so wish me to be—a cold chestful of chemical smoke a sink full of the remnants of an unborn child, eject me i am unwanted, i am a wanted hallelujah with a swollen-gum smile in every lithographed dead or alive poster, please save me please buy black water lilies for my funeral the priest won’t attend please let the worms make homes out of my gaping throat, and i shall whisper unto you. one last time. it will be done unto your will without wisdom i am corruption in the form of conscience i am the riptide washing away your firstborn son with the taste of ****** verona.

24

I don't want to reopen my old wounds But it’s just the only thing I have left to do There's nothing more to be said about me Except for a condolence or a passing apology Picking at the ***** scars, hoping for an infection Hoping the festering bacteria would spread through Hoping for sensation, or something maybe close Hoping that these old wounds would feel brand new I’m already too numb to ask for more medication Already too debilitated to beg for a final miracle cure I’m already too sick, far too late to try on and on Already at the brink of extinction to still feel unsure I’m opening old wounds, bleeding them out to dry Doing everything they all told me not to do, only left out to die There’s nothing more to be done, no band-aid left to rip These old wounds seem useless when there’s nothing left in me to fix.

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Mar 7, 2021

Mar 7, 2021 at 3:52 AM UTC

They Say "Don't Open Old Wounds..."

I don't want to reopen my old wounds But it’s just the only thing I have left to do There's nothing more to be said about me Except for a condolence or a passing apology Picking at the ***** scars, hoping for an infection Hoping the festering bacteria would spread through Hoping for sensation, or something maybe close Hoping that these old wounds would feel brand new I’m already too numb to ask for more medication Already too debilitated to beg for a final miracle cure I’m already too sick, far too late to try on and on Already at the brink of extinction to still feel unsure I’m opening old wounds, bleeding them out to dry Doing everything they all told me not to do, only left out to die There’s nothing more to be done, no band-aid left to rip These old wounds seem useless when there’s nothing left in me to fix.

16

ready steady hit the clutch i’ve got your greed you’ve got my guts ready steady please me dim please you sober displeased again ready steady back and forth know thyself more than thy worth ready steady hit and touch bruised and blue-lipped unlove too much.

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Oct 7, 2020

Oct 7, 2020 at 10:44 AM UTC

ready, steady...

ready steady hit the clutch i’ve got your greed you’ve got my guts ready steady please me dim please you sober displeased again ready steady back and forth know thyself more than thy worth ready steady hit and touch bruised and blue-lipped unlove too much.

16

Silly love, nuanced as you please There ain’t nothing I could ever do I may look like I swallowed the ring of keys But flying our stolen starship is all up to you Drive my confused brain cells into extinction Set the blush on my cheeks straight to full ignition Don’t let the curious violets catch you softly shrinking Nevermind my lopsided grin, love, tell me what you’re thinking Silly love, ornate as you can be There ain’t nothing I wouldn’t ever do I may read like flimsy paper-thin allegories But finding me out is far from something new Twist up my elastic veins to cat’s cradle elation I know I’m not rare, but I’d still be your florid fiction And when the shy mimosas catch us slowly unfolding We’ll shake ourselves silly as we flee, love, tell me if you’re falling.

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Sep 26, 2020

Sep 26, 2020 at 12:03 AM UTC

Sillier Than Thou

Silly love, nuanced as you please There ain’t nothing I could ever do I may look like I swallowed the ring of keys But flying our stolen starship is all up to you Drive my confused brain cells into extinction Set the blush on my cheeks straight to full ignition Don’t let the curious violets catch you softly shrinking Nevermind my lopsided grin, love, tell me what you’re thinking Silly love, ornate as you can be There ain’t nothing I wouldn’t ever do I may read like flimsy paper-thin allegories But finding me out is far from something new Twist up my elastic veins to cat’s cradle elation I know I’m not rare, but I’d still be your florid fiction And when the shy mimosas catch us slowly unfolding We’ll shake ourselves silly as we flee, love, tell me if you’re falling.

16

unbound cliffs resurgence i see spindles of thunder float behind studded eyelids the day is only young if i ask it to; my spine is cracked like an unloved book, but the writing has faded into bloated gums swelling with indignation swear on your god knife to paper ink to straw touch the edge of the cloud for another story—lightning strikes twelve under turbid gazes, placid

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Jul 25, 2020

Jul 25, 2020 at 10:50 AM UTC

drumlins and cyclones

unbound cliffs resurgence i see spindles of thunder float behind studded eyelids the day is only young if i ask it to; my spine is cracked like an unloved book, but the writing has faded into bloated gums swelling with indignation swear on your god knife to paper ink to straw touch the edge of the cloud for another story—lightning strikes twelve under turbid gazes, placid

24

chew the shards of glass between your overcast teeth and promise me this time— promise me you wouldn’t lie. doesn’t feel too good with blood overflowing in your mouth, does it? did it turn the ashes into putrid mud, as well, and pour out from every orifice in a thick, dull sludge, confessing the crimes tucked quietly behind those calculating, glimmerless eyes… does the crunching of glass sound like the bones i broke trying to convince myself that your gaping lips are meant for more than blatant fabrications— does the crunching of glass sound like sweet music to you, the way it does to me right now?

0

Jul 20, 2020

Jul 20, 2020 at 10:37 AM UTC

cheval verre

chew the shards of glass between your overcast teeth and promise me this time— promise me you wouldn’t lie. doesn’t feel too good with blood overflowing in your mouth, does it? did it turn the ashes into putrid mud, as well, and pour out from every orifice in a thick, dull sludge, confessing the crimes tucked quietly behind those calculating, glimmerless eyes… does the crunching of glass sound like the bones i broke trying to convince myself that your gaping lips are meant for more than blatant fabrications— does the crunching of glass sound like sweet music to you, the way it does to me right now?

21

my dear pretty starling you'll hold my fragile attention for no more than perhaps a season but i'll still sit under your acacia branch collecting iridescent feathers as i listen to you beckon away the sun and my dear pretty starling soon you'll migrate to warmer evergreen so i wish your wispy heart farewell for mine has rotted off like bad fruit but i'll still tuck away the seeds for your curious beak to plant elsewhere.

0

Jul 19, 2020

Jul 19, 2020 at 2:38 AM UTC

royal flights

my dear pretty starling you'll hold my fragile attention for no more than perhaps a season but i'll still sit under your acacia branch collecting iridescent feathers as i listen to you beckon away the sun and my dear pretty starling soon you'll migrate to warmer evergreen so i wish your wispy heart farewell for mine has rotted off like bad fruit but i'll still tuck away the seeds for your curious beak to plant elsewhere.

12