she lies in her bathtub
bath walls stained red
tears in her eyes
a smile of relief
staring at the ceiling
"self destruction"
she whispers
slightly laughing
she stares at the blood
seeing it stop dripping
searching for the blade
more self destruction
another cut
no
cuts
more than one
maybe twenty
there is no end
someone knocking on the door
the bathroom door
"you alright"
she heard
"i killed her"
she yells
no
instead she smiles
"i am fine"
she says
she feels like the word are not coming from her mouth
she heard foot steps
walking away
"i killed her"
she whispers
finding herself laughing
but tears keep falling
yet another cut
"i killed her"
she whispers
again
she is trying to believe it
to remember
flashbacks
a door opening slowly
feeling her hands getting heavy
like she is holding something
then nothing but black
"i killed her"
she whispers
she finds herself sobbing
almost unable to say a word
she is sobbing
just like that night
was it night?
she does not know
all she knows is her heavy hands
and
the next thing
crying
sobbing
she is sobbing
next to a body
her body
all she is able to say is
"i killed her"
"i killed her"
she whispers again
she snaps back
finding herself still cutting
"i killed her"
she whispers once again
she does nor try to stop the bleeding
nor the cutting
her hands feeling heavy again
it scares her
is it like that night?
if it was even night
yet she smiles
relief
her sight turns black
she stopped
sobbing
cutting
there are just tears falling down her face now
and blood
dripping
there is always blood
it is always dripping
then she whispers again
one last time
but it is different
her eyes are closed
and she whispers
"i killed me"
Oct 3, 2015
Oct 3, 2015 at 4:49 PM UTC
to be written
what we have brought
to an end
in the middle of the novel
Jul 3, 2015
Jul 3, 2015 at 4:31 PM UTC
The sky holds all the unwritten words
The thoughts which have never been spoken
The non-existing words in all the love stories
The feelings we can't express
It holds everything we can't bring to words. It's not just a sky, it's an open book. Full of secrets and fears.
It doesn't just hold clouds and birds, it holds way more.
It holds you & me.
May 20, 2015
May 20, 2015 at 12:52 PM UTC
it's hard to not feel sad
when the same world
used to shine so bright
like you lived in a fairytale
now looks so dark
May 18, 2015
May 18, 2015 at 1:28 PM UTC
What if you think life isn't worth it?
You're just standing there.
Nailed to the ground.
Looking at your past, with your back to the future.
Trying to find a purpose in life.
Is life actually worth it?
Walking around with a smile on your face.
Trying to hide your pain.
People who think you're fine, that you're happy.
Till you collapse.
Life isn't worth it.
You just wait for the moment where you snap.
Where you get pushed over the edge.
One more step, one more thought and one more breath.
And then you're death.
Apr 22, 2015
Apr 22, 2015 at 3:13 PM UTC
Don't let those beautiful eyes lose their sparkle tonight.
your eyes hold the universe, but more important your eyes hold your secrets.
secrets are locked up. mostly not with a ribbon but with a lock.
that's why those beautiful eyes sparkle, because of the lock that holds your secrets.
Don't let those beautiful eyes lose their sparkle tonight.
your eyes hold the universe, but more important your eyes hold your happiness.
happiness are laughs. mostly not a little smile but a big smile, that shows your teeth.
that's why those beautiful eyes sparkle, because of the big smile that holds your happiness.
Don't let those beautiful eyes lose their sparkle tonight.
your eyes hold the universe, but more important your eyes hold your love.
love is like firework. mostly not the new years firework but the one you can feel.
that's why those beautiful eyes sparkle, because of the firework that holds your love.
Your eyes sparkle, don't let them lose it tonight.
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 11:54 AM UTC
Another night
crying, not being able to breath
afraid of losing you
seeing you walking away
without a goodbye
How many more nights like this do i have to face?
Another night
thinking about why you're still with me
just trying to be good enough
wondering if you'll stay
when you have seen me at my worst
Are those nights ever going to end?
Another night
hoping we'll make it
till the end
without killing ourselfs
by trying to save each other
Do you really think those nights are the worst?
Another night
imagining you besides me
falling asleep in your arms
maybe even kiss you goodnight
hoping you love me like i love you
Tell me when these nights will end and everything will be real.
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 4:04 AM UTC