billy-payne
I am a tornado of emotions to say the least. Truly the epitome of a Scorpio and spunky monkey. I've learned a lot about myself these last few years. Becoming comfortable with who I am and am not. At times I thought myself to be crazy but honestly more sain than anyone else. I had the confidence to say out loud and stand proud to things others can't. I have 3 amazing and gifted children, gifted with talents and being empaths, like myself. I also have p.t.s.d and find that they are my biggest triggers. I fight everyday to be the mom I once was and better, stop running from my demons and just accept life and what has occurred in my life.
Since childhood I've felt how people feel
Able to already know fantisy from what's real
Had to dig out proof for things I just knew
I never knew how but felt lie from truth
Mood always changed when lots of people were near
I'd tell the mirror "your going insane my dear"
Knowledge became obsessed because I wanted proof if right or wrong
Nothing would silence the noise inside but found peace in songs
Able to know when something bad was on the way
Or stop someone from further pain they dished in vain
Saved two beautiful children from a sinners selfish pleasure
Absorbing the pains and feelings from all I've been stretched beyond measure
Being an empaths mean I absorb high and low energy from everything and one
Truly a gift I appreciate but the weight of the world can dissolve the fun
Anything you feel I will feel as well
Able to explain your hearts story its been dying to tell
I am rounded as a person now from love to wrath
When I say I understand I truly do, I am empath
Oct 30, 2015
Oct 30, 2015 at 4:42 PM UTC
A rumble starts in my gut
I feel the storm forming
Hate, vengeance, and rage
Words with stout interpretation
Are kittens to this lions tounge when said
Consuming me entire
I grasp tight to my control
Even though I want nothing more than to check out
My body could join my already dead smile
In side by side grave
Oct 28, 2015
Oct 28, 2015 at 3:11 AM UTC
Now and forever
is how she used to sign her name,
now became then,
and forever never came.
Files and files
of remembered smilies
She followed her heart
Now she's falling apart
A collection of heirloom yesterdays
Now pain painted souvenirs
Absolute refusal to claim ownership
For the once upon a time tears.
Reality is a wake state nightmare
I can't get up
Overflowing misconceptions
No more room in my cup
Oct 27, 2015
Oct 27, 2015 at 2:38 PM UTC
Now years have past
Still day after day I rehash
Hold tight my soul, unable to move
Come with explanation, on screams unsoothed
The curse of guilt, for even things I did not do
Are chains around my identity, mirrors lie to
the critical peace to my sanity, I am my own stranger head to toe
This reflection, this me my hearts horror show
Oct 27, 2015
Oct 27, 2015 at 12:48 PM UTC