bethany
American
Truth be told / / In written words you’ll find the truth / Of all I feel and what I think / A freedom to be who I am / No need to hide behind my masks / I talk of love and suicide / Of tortured past / And dreams at night / I write for me / Sometimes for you / But mainly because I like to.
It’s not about the materialistic things
The houses and cars are someone else’s dream
I want a home that’s filled with love
A place my children can bring their friends
A special someone to share it with
Who appreciates all that I have to give.
Who wants to work together as one
And shares the dreams that build our love
I need a rock, who is there for me
And accepts my quirks above all things
Who will go do things just for fun
Perhaps, geocache, a musical, or family time
I want to laugh more than cry
To fall asleep at night being held tight
And wake to realize it wasn’t just a dream.
Oct 21, 2013
Oct 21, 2013 at 10:39 AM UTC
So much negativity surrounding me,
It’s draining the life from the depths of my soul
Killing me with each word, look, and gesture
The energy is dark and haunting
As the darkness seeps deep inside
How do I break the chains that bind
Demagnetize what draws it in
How do I find the light again
And remember... that I am good.
Oct 21, 2013
Oct 21, 2013 at 9:41 AM UTC
In my dreams you creep
So long since that warm smile
Loving words and your touch
The feel of your lips on mine
So real and yet only in my sleep
My soul still searches for you
And yet you are forbidden fruit
My heart longs for you
Only to be alone
Perhaps in another lifetime
We will be together again
But until that time
I still dream of you
The other half of my lonely soul.
Aug 1, 2013
Aug 1, 2013 at 8:53 PM UTC
In my mind I’m trapped
What if… a torturous thought
Am I where I’m meant to be
Or did I let destiny pass
Happiness doesn’t come easy
And the past is hard to let go
I miss it even though it hurt
And yet the present is so…
Is it possible to be caught
In the middle of two life times
Is there only one soul mate
That I am meant to find
Or can my soul connect
With the one i'm with right now.
Mar 29, 2013
Mar 29, 2013 at 4:49 PM UTC
Silence brings doubt
Why do I question
Trust in myself
What I feel
Wandering aimlessly
Within my mind
Hopeless and alone.
Jan 3, 2012
Jan 3, 2012 at 8:03 PM UTC
The shadow is always there
Whether physically
Or only in my mind
How to give love
To the one who still and always
Will love another.
Haunted by the love he had for her
Unsure of the love he has for me
The love of his life gone
Never to return
While I stand beside him
He being the love of my life
Wondering if a person can ever
Truly love again after loss.
Scared to always be second to a ghost
Do I stay or grieve the loss of the one I love
Tear drops fall from my eyes
Sorrow fills my heart
So much to risk and yet
There is love shared
Will time heal his wounds?
Or open mine…….
Jul 25, 2011
Jul 25, 2011 at 7:09 PM UTC
As you hold me in your arms
Our fingers entwined together
A current of energy
Flowing from your body to mine
So strong and exhilarating
I melt into you
My heart racing
My breathing erratic
I feel like I could explode
From this overwhelming feeling
Your energy and soul
Connecting to mine
I have never felt you like this before
And I can’t wait to feel you like that again.
Jan 6, 2011
Jan 6, 2011 at 7:01 AM UTC
I want to go home
Not to my dwelling
Where I keep my things
But to my home
Where I keep my heart
Feel love and warmth
And happiness
Where I can be with you
And share the love
I have to give you
Where the troubles of the world
Melt away by your touch
And there is a new sense of hope
That tomorrow brings better things
Where we dream of our future together
And work to make the dreams reality
Where you’re at is my home
For my home is in your heart
And yours in mine.
Nov 10, 2010
Nov 10, 2010 at 9:25 AM UTC
Its over
Done
I won’t change my mind
Fifteen years was enough
Your alcoholism
The verbal abuse
The constant fear
The wondering if you would make it home
The depression I suffered from the stress and worry
Never feeling whole or complete
No I can’t do it anymore
I want a divorce
What please stop saying it
No I can’t and won’t
My love for you died so long ago
I am wasting my life away in misery
If I stay I may not be alive tomorrow
The kids need me and I need to be there for them
I have found myself and can stand alone
For once in my life I'm ok
I know what I want and need
And it’s not you
I wish you well
Stop your crying
**** it up and be a man
You did this to yourself
You said you would stop drinking
Another of your lies
So goodbye
Oh and don’t forget you have the kids this weekend.
Oct 14, 2010
Oct 14, 2010 at 10:05 AM UTC
Forget the past
The troubles and worries
The moments of happiness
The closeness shared beneath the stars
Don’t think about the future
Forget tomorrow
Don’t dream or wish
Or long for your love
Instead live for the moment
What does that mean
I'm so confused
My thoughts and feelings
Are not on a switch
They can’t be turned off
Because you say
It simply doesn’t work
In the moment
I still love you
I still want you
I still feel you
Nothing has changed
Except you running away...
Oct 1, 2010
Oct 1, 2010 at 7:49 AM UTC