Being empty is a strange feeling
Not even prescriptions help.
Nothing does.
I mourn the Death of my passion.
The fire in my head that gave me my edge
Has fled.
Jan 24, 2013
Jan 24, 2013 at 6:28 PM UTC
You Are Not a Number
Not Nearly That Simple
You are not defined by the weighted or unweighted
Or the 2400
You are Not a Shape
You are not fat
You are not skinny
It's only the eyes that can be so petty
You are not a Letter
You aren't the A or the F
You aren't the reports hanging over your head.
Or the mark on your forehead.
You are not a label
You are not simply gay, or simply straight
you aren't smart or stupid
you are so much more than just the words.
You are not what they say
When they think you aren't listening
You aren't what they think
You are not to be put in a box.
You are not theirs
You aren't the clothes or the attitude
If You are afraid of what you are
you may allow yourself to become theirs.
You Don't Have To.
Your life is your choice,
the people not so much,
But it's better to be who you are, than the person people aren't afraid of.
You are who you chose
You are who you aren't
You are those secret desires you keep in the dark.
You are the choices you make
You are how you handle life
You are how you handle pressure
You are the activities you do
You are the way you treat others.
Most of all, you are you
You are the only one inside your head
While lonely at times
It's also beautiful.
You are the only one that sees exactly what you see.
You are the only one that thinks how you think.
You are who you hate
You are who love,
You are how you handle the haters
You are one of a kind.
Don't become anything else.
Jan 24, 2013
Jan 24, 2013 at 6:04 PM UTC
You are drowning me with your tears
Please my girls don't be afraid
nobody is dead or maimed
nobody should be like this today.
You have to worry about the Petty little things.
The stupid little things.
The useless little things
You have to worry about the petty little things
Do you really?
Does a boy, a grade, really to determine your fate?
Please can't you see these are petty little things?
I try to help, you, save you,
but it's useless if this is what is on your mind.
Why does everyone seem to worry about the petty little things?
We have roofs over our heads and three meals a day.
We have song, and dance, and friendship.
With that, we can beat the pressures from the outside.
So please help me understand why everything is so petty?
I try so hard to help.
I do
I do
I do
But I just don't understand.
Sometimes I worry I can't fathom what goes on in the teenage mind, even though I am one myself.
I can't relate
I try I try I try
And they just laugh and laugh
An awkward little alien sits with them
But I just can't relate to petty little things
So I'm Sorry.
Pretty Little things,
Don't be scared of the Petty little things,
If you are emotionally evoked by such trivial aspects of life
I can't relate.
I probably seem dull
For I am a person of far much less laughter and tears than I am of an intriguing sense of reality
Just please for me, try to remember that I'm trying my best,
Your lives aren't over
Just give it a rest.
Please, Don't let me sink in your emotions.
Jan 22, 2013
Jan 22, 2013 at 11:01 PM UTC
Since long before I remember, Just through Story
I’ve always been an anomaly.
The Bird that Prefers Walking
The Dyeing tree in the Spring
A Mime Who loves talking
A choir-girl who won’t sing
My thoughts do not come from a common place
But from a world full of complications and haste
I find no humor in the common air
I find no sadness in these normal waters
I find no hurt in the common tears
When people think cooler, I think hotter.
Since I am Not Justified
Others are simply Terrified
Anomalies ruin common thought
So I am shunned to the corner to sit there to rot.
While hurt and confusion bring me such tears,
I’ve learned to ignore the most potent jeers.
It scares me sometimes, why’m i like this?
Why I can’t understand their desires, hopes, even their bracelets on their wrists.
I’ve never drank from the common fountain
and if I were to try, my body would treat it like poison.
So I’ll walk this path alone until I find
Another anomaly with an open mind
Maybe I won’t be the glue without hold.
Maybe I’ll be the rock that turns to gold.
Jan 22, 2013
Jan 22, 2013 at 10:57 PM UTC
You sit there and take pictures of me,
The winter air chills our breaths
You Laugh. I laugh. I feel a small spark of what I called happiness.
It's absolutely freezing.
Come on, the high today is nine degrease.
But for some reason I don't feel so cold
as the Ice blues my skin and snow infests my bones.
Your infectious laugh carries over to me.
"Uh, Beth, I think I broke the camera!"
I know you didn't, of course, but I still rush over.
I pity the way I can't stupidly giggle.
or be anything resembling a teenage girl.
the strange thing is you don't seem to mind.
You stand too close as I fix the glitch.
You smell like Cinnamon, apples and warmth
too bad I'm like the anti-teen so I just stand there awkwardly
Your brown eyes capture mine and I resume my duty of fixing the camera
You run out of film.
I frown. We walk back.
We don't talk after that.
You do this every month or so, I never expect it
I want to Hit myself afterwards.
Taunt me, tease me, leave me confused
You are another cruel reminder of my living little nightmare.
Until Next time, My brown eyed "Friend"
Jan 22, 2013
Jan 22, 2013 at 10:54 PM UTC
Please leave me alone
Just let me be
Your desires are a mystery
Just leave.
I don't know
What you want from me anymore
You are a manic depressive cyclone.
Stop swinging.
I can't see
Why you flaunt yourself in front of me.
For nothing I want with you can happen in this reality.
Stop taunting.
If someone told you of my feelings, they are true.
But you pass me by and my heart fills with glue.
I'm not to be but on a string, and am not here to amuse you.
Stop hurting.
Sometimes you sound like you want to hear what I say.
Or brush your hands against mine and get close enough to stay.
Sometimes you even look me in the deep in the eyes and swoop me away.
Stop playing.
Just leave.
Jan 22, 2013
Jan 22, 2013 at 10:23 PM UTC
A dreary little nightmare
On the outside is a dream
But the only time there is peace
Is when I'm fast asleep.
Now that piece is shattered
Because this dreary little nightmare keeps waking me.
My roses, my sunlight, my flowers, my trees, withered away and died with me.
No mater how much they are watered with amphetamines, resurrection is not enough.
My nightmare has very small daydreams that die as quickly as they come to spring.
My gardens are trampled on by idiotic teens.
And no matter how much I try not to feel lonely.
I'm in a dead garden, and there's only just me.
But the raincloud ahead could bring joy to my fettered limbs.
But it's over eight seasons of dryness before.
By then I may be too dried up to grow.
This is my nightmare, this is my time, this is my trial, but I don't know for what crime.
So maybe in the darkest dawn when I see a rose bud grow
Ill pick it, but not hit its thorns
Paint my spirit with the joys of a new season.
But my nightmare has only just begun.
I have a long way to go.
Jan 22, 2013
Jan 22, 2013 at 10:06 PM UTC
Light vs. Dark
The most cliché idea ever.
Light is good.
Dark is bad.
People who are afraid of questioning love it.
It's all Black and white.
I'm sorry, but it just can't be true.
There wouldn't be dark without light and light without dark
So if light exists because of dark and dark exists because of light, they create each other, depend on each other.
So how can light be completely good and dark be completely bad?
Another point.
Humans are often afraid. We like knowledge and instead of being in awe of it, we fear the things we don't know, can't see, hear, taste, feel, or touch.
We can see in the light, we can see what is in front of us.
That's why we think light is good, because we are not afraid.
Darkness, on the other hand,
Is scary for humans who depend on what's in front of them
but that doesn't mean it's bad.
We think up monsters and demons but in reality
there could be an angel watching over you in the dark.
It's so common for so many of us
If there is something we can't see, we go simply crazy.
Jan 20, 2013
Jan 20, 2013 at 12:35 AM UTC
there is nothing worse than a first impression
all humans have one, weather you like it or not
hell, I have first impressions all the time
thing is, while we may have first impressions, it's stupid to trust them
with the exclusion of cruelty and hubris, I have found that some of the most amazing people have the most apparent flaws
unfortunately that comes with
horrendous first impressions
it is a huge flaw in human design to judge someone before even getting to know them
that's why I usually ignore a first impression, in fact, sometimes I go against my instincts.
if you judge someone before you get to know them based on a first glance, you'll regret it. Trust me.
Jan 20, 2013
Jan 20, 2013 at 12:16 AM UTC
I have this desire to save people.
My counselor says that's why all my friendships are hard on me.
I tend to make friends with people who need saving.
You Were No Exception.
Grace, Darling Child, Where did you go?
You got lost in the crowd and put on a show.
I tried to warn you and you listened well
but you are very bendable and the others could tell.
Grace, My Darling, Why would you lie?
I Would give you anything including my life.
You really cared for me, you told me so
but it was not enough because you just couldn't say no.
Grace, My Darling, Why are you gone?
You have to stop abusing your mom.
I know she messed up but we all do.
Oh Please don't let them get to you.
Grace, my darling, Why did you let them get get to you?
Was it Something I said? What Can I do?
I'm the only one who still has hope in you!
Grace?
Grace, you are gone. He took you as well.
The bad man who treats your Mommy like hell.
I guess your Daddy just likes his control.
And Since you can't say no he has too much hold.
Grace, I'm sorry, but this is goodbye.
I'm sick of all your little lies.
Your Daddy will say awful things about me
And while they are false, you are just too naive.
Grace, I see the hate in your eyes.
I knew this would happen since you live with a demon in disguise.
I guess I just have to let you go
and remember the great girl you could've been who I'd love to know.
Grace, sweet Grace, you stand so far away.
There is a demon standing in your place.
You are now the type of thing I despise.
I hold a funeral in my mind for the girl who could have been kind.
Grace, my darling, was I not enough?
I feel it's my fault. Did I not show you love?
Your ghost will haunt me and put me to shame
because you were the girl I could not save.
Jan 19, 2013
Jan 19, 2013 at 9:00 PM UTC