best-to-remain-unnamedWhisper

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Sweet girlSweet girl / I feel i must tell you that the worst is not over / But you are cold and steely
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Feeling emotional and missing her.. The Little speech i wrote for my grandmothers little serviceEulogy / Its difficult in moment like these to come up with something honest and insightful to make everyone feel better. It’s difficult to find the encouragement necessary to get a bunch of weirdo’s like you to smile when I have a perfect understanding of what you have lost. Grandmas passing came with a unique set of challenges I can admit I was not prepared to face. Her death left me feeling as equally perplexed as her life. / When grandma started to really get sick and I had to start wrapping my head around her passing I was afraid of a lot more than I am now. I was afraid I was losing the opportunity to know her sober, I was afraid to lose a member of your strange, perfect, functionally challenged family with its unique jerry springer dynamics. I was afraid I would lose the feeling that someone understood me, the way family only really can. I was afraid I was losing the person and the pace that tethered me to my origins and everything I think I know about myself. I felt like I was losing a person who provided for me my first understanding of the world and introduced me to the intricacies of the human experience I was losing my reasons to be angry the reasons I loved her. I would be losing the way she accepted every imperfect bit of me completely. I would be losing someone who was there for good or bad to watch me collect my scars and change my mind. I knew I was losing one of the most important women in my life and I was absolutely terrified and in a way I did lose those things.
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I miss you ( best buddy)I miss you you know. / you were my best friend, back then I thought for sure you were god sent, something about you stayed when everything else in my life seemed to shift and I was down right scared. My head blared and fear stirs the air, it's a heavy scent. You stayed and others went, you came when my will bent when my heart broke, when emotions welled and I started to choke. I was there every second you tested my resolve, I was there when you staled in the last moment before lashing out, loud shouts you called harsh names, aimed to pain and for awhile I wondered if we were both insane. But we always got out you and I , we stayed the same. Life killed my faith in **** near everything. I'm so alone tonight and yesterday, hell I've been alone a lot of days and you came. Unannounced for a moment to fleeting to feel healing just long enough to see me not cry until the door clicked. / I miss you, you know. And i hope more then I have let grow in a long time, that tomorrow you can take a day and let me feel, like someone I used to know. Take a few hours and a hug two ears and smart *** remarks to rekindle a spark in myself I let die in the dark. Just a day to say that i'm not completely alone and that we haven't changed.
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Christmas and wet socks.Take those decades of resentment / Rolling around in tortured minds / And set them just behind the heartache
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Disney must have known me...She was so upset, while tears ran down her face. / Her ugly crocodile tears socializing in the corner / Of her Bambi blue eyes.
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Existentialistic inquiry of my reality in relationship to love.As intimidating as a blank page, / So much nothing its overwhelming / A mesh of every color created into
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losing lemon squaresthanksgiving, / yellow lemon squares, turkey, / hustle hustle laughing,
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Tenderly in wilting memoryI'm afraid to think / I am only moments from a time, / where the luster in your eyes and
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like shadows and honeyHe has sweetness in his eyes and excitement / Dancing through the half smile he is teasing me with, / Seducing in the glimpses of white teeth exposed by
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GoodnightI find tonight I’m too sad to find sleep. / I wish I would have looked before it was too late, / Because it’s too far the times passed and I can’t think
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