stained glass windows in my mind,
the light shines through & it all rewinds.
once more crying tears of yesteryear,
why must you have this power?
your voice remains in the back of my mind
even after all this time:
berating,
judging,
questioning reality.
have I really been hurt at all?
could i possibly be mistaken?
but then I remember I was just a child:
innocent,
in need of love,
seeking comfort.
and where were you?
too inebriated to have a clue.
Nov 17, 2022
Nov 17, 2022 at 8:56 AM UTC
our moles align
like stars in the sky.
in this world
it’s just you and i.
‘till death do us part
by your side I will lie.
there is no other soul
with whom i’d rather die.
in this world
it’s just you and i.
my lover forever
my sweet cherry pie.
Nov 17, 2022
Nov 17, 2022 at 3:11 AM UTC
anger is not a sin,
let out what is within.
you can cry & scream & yell,
you can wish they’d just go to hell
it is okay to feel this way,
& someday you will be okay.
Nov 16, 2022
Nov 16, 2022 at 12:46 PM UTC
men have never been my forte.
not even my own father has done me right.
I’ve been hurt over,
and over,
and over again.
told constantly of my beauty,
but never of more.
and you know what?
I thought you were different.
I really did.
I thought you wanted me.
not just for my body, but for my mind as well.
god I wish I had known the truth.
did all those late nights spent talking mean nothing to you?
and how about the times that we kissed?
it seemed like we’d never stop.
I could have sworn you felt something
and that I did too.
now I’m not so sure.
am I just a game for you? is that all I am?
do I really mean that little?
I want the real you,
I want more than just your lips.
I want to see your true colors,
but I seem to be blind:
unable to identify what’s right in front of me.
I don’t know if I love you,
but I don’t want to anymore.
I’m tired of guessing,
and guessing,
and guessing.
I’m tired of this feeling,
but I will never be tired of you.
you, my guilty pleasure,
my forbidden fruit,
my biggest secret…
you are not the sun.
I am.
Nov 15, 2022
Nov 15, 2022 at 5:29 PM UTC
you looked of sanctity
but tasted of sin.
with your wide eyes of blue
& your porcelain skin.
your lips felt so perfect,
right up against mine.
almost as if we were
old stars aligned.
your words were like honey,
they slipped out so smooth.
& so often you spoke,
there was no interlude.
word after word,
I was spellbound.
&
kiss after kiss,
feelings unwound.
you removed all my layers;
left me stripped bare.
and all that was left were
strands of blonde hair.
were they yours?
were they mine?
were they merely a figment
of my lovedrunk mind?
till now i’m unsure,
but would I like to know?
we’ll leave this unanswered,
farewell my faux beau.
Nov 15, 2022
Nov 15, 2022 at 5:20 PM UTC
one morning I woke,
unaware it would be my last.
not my last morning breathing,
but my last without you
on my mind.
I suppose I am to blame.
I am the one who lit the match,
the one who began the game.
now I’ve lost myself.
lost myself in you.
not just in you,
but in your lies
& your lips
& your arms.
you’re everywhere
& now I’m left to wonder…
where am I?
Nov 15, 2022
Nov 15, 2022 at 5:17 PM UTC
I whisper
“I love you,”
as you fade away,
your last breaths
soon to come.
a few days pass
and there you go,
away to live with the moon.
I wish I could say “I love you” again,
please say i’ll see you soon.
Nov 15, 2022
Nov 15, 2022 at 5:06 PM UTC
he swore he could provide me with oceans
when all I could give back was a mere
dew drop.
And so I let him go.
5840 days isn’t a long time to be on earth
when you really think about it.
& if all goes well I should have at least another 20440 until I take my last breath.
so why rush so fast into what’s nearly guaranteed temporary?
call me a pessimist, but love is just a feeling.
and all feelings are temporary when you’re 16 years old.
so when such things are so short-lived,
why waste time on exclusivity & commitment?
especially on someone with such different visions on what love is supposed to be.
no one is obligated to provide reciprocation.
despite the other party’s ambitions or
the strength of how they feel,
some things just aren’t meant to be—
some people just weren’t made to love the same.
so be patient.
savor your youth.
& choose wisely your first love.
but when you’re ready to love?
you love hard.
you love recklessly.
you love exactly as you would want to be loved.
because regardless of its ability (or inability) to last,
love is never easy to forget.
and love should not be taken lightly.
Nov 14, 2022
Nov 14, 2022 at 9:33 PM UTC
I don’t want to be your friend.
I want to kiss your neck.
I want to sink deep into your arms
and never return to the shore.
I want to travel to the parts of you
which no one has dared yet to explore.
I want to be yours—
I want my body to be yours.
and i want yours to be mine.
but for our hearts to do the same?
that’s much easier said than done.
Nov 14, 2022
Nov 14, 2022 at 9:31 PM UTC
her sun spots bragged of
summers spent reckless
and her silver locks of
once box dyed glory.
her drooping skin bragged of
first kisses and a hundred men’s touch—
from her so-called “glory days.”
her plump figure bragged of
children bore and
lovers loved and
a thousand lives lived.
in this old age I deemed her ageless—
having lived more in one lifetime
than most could dream to do in four.
Nov 14, 2022
Nov 14, 2022 at 9:27 PM UTC