I tried to talk to you the other day, you
seemed distant and mind astray, so I
faded away.
Falling into a space, a place, where I have no
face, no way to mask what's inside.
Everything building and burning, trashing a
churning.
Emptiness of everything thatempowers the
truth of all I hide.
Love that has been lost and left behind in the
darkness.
All is forced out to see, unable to replace my
mask and hide all I know.
Losing my sense of being, just a feeling, but
one that fades fast.
Opening up, isnt as good as they say, when
your secrets are disected from your mind
Nothing to stop it, no one to care.
Everything to lose.
Mar 25, 2018
Mar 25, 2018 at 11:18 PM UTC
"What's wrong?" She asks. Spoken simply, for its a simple thing to say. I didn't get much sleep last night. My brain was putting up a fight. Tossing and turning for hours on end, pretending to be unaware of the sun peaking over the horizon.
I haven't had much of an appetite. Sure I attempt to eat what I'm able, but it never sits well. I may ***** it up but time will tell.
My thoughts move too fast, sometimes I forget when to laugh. It's hard to know how much is real cuz everyone thinks it's an act. But it's real, everything I feel in my head and my heart, and the whispers and the shouts, reality fading and freaking me out.
I don't think I can cope with all of my madness, i lay gasping for breath, with feelings of death clutching my chest. I'm not sure how much time I have left.
I haven't left my room in a week, my body feels weak, I can barely stand on my feet. Maybe it's from too little to eat or not enough sleep. Sometimes I will my heart not to beat. So many thoughts fill up my head that I realize I forgot to speak.
"Nothing, I'm fine" I manage the squeak.
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 27, 2017 at 7:29 PM UTC
Today he came again, seeping into my thoughts.
He says he is my friend, but always shuts off the lights.
He lives in the darkness, wears it as a cloak that trails behind him.
Visiting when I'm alone. Breaking into my home.
A demon in every right, but a voice so soothing, all I wish to do is lay in bed.
He sings me to sleep as I keep falling deeper into a dream of black. A dream slowly becoming reality.
His voice paints my walls, and my skin and my heart, all dark.
As the color leaves my face and my skin turns cold, he smiles, knowing he is no longer alone in the shadows.
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 27, 2017 at 6:59 PM UTC
Darkened by love's light dying.
Withered by the storms in my head.
Feelings of what is no longer the same.
Memories of a time before blame.
A crater of blank space filling my chest.
Where thoughts trying to become words die.
Understanding became a foreign language.
Our eyes never meeting, and our laughter fading.
Differences put us at a disadvantage.
Our hearts never syncing, what was may be lost.
Nov 26, 2017
Nov 26, 2017 at 3:07 PM UTC
My depression tells me I'm not wanted
My ADHD tells me to go find someone who will want me because sitting here won't change anything
My anxiety tells me to hide from anyone who might want to talk to me
While my bi polar argues about if it's worth talking to anyone or not
My psychosis tells me that everyone I could need is in my mind
While showing me things I don't want to see
How do you find your point in life
When your head keeps telling you otherwise?
Oct 5, 2016
Oct 5, 2016 at 1:25 AM UTC
I scream into this piece of paper,
Vomiting up ink that seeps in,
But no one hears the pain of the silenced,
You just see the words and thoughts,
Not noticing a lot,
Notice nothing as I drain my veins,
Notice nothing of my writing in red
But I write to you again,
Hoping you can feel the pain behind the words,
Hoping someone would bleed for me,
For I am all but bled dry;
Jul 27, 2016
Jul 27, 2016 at 7:34 PM UTC
Woke up,
Tripped down,
Scrapped my knee on the way to the ground,
No trace of blood,
No trace of blood,
Another victim of the dark,
Scared to walk into the light,
Scared to put down the knife,
Scared to know he was never right,
No trace of blood,
No trace of blood,
The night before? Hiding.
The day before? Running.
The week before? Crying.
The month before? Shaking.
No trace of blood,
No trace of blood,
Too many words in one head,
Too many thoughts driving to madness
Filling up and emptying away,
Unable to escape as the fire consumes,
No trace of blood,
No trace of blood,
One last day before the darkness,
Nothing more noticeable then the silence of voices,
All awaiting what's next,
All watching, as I lay in the pool that gathers.
No trace of blood,
No trace...
Jul 27, 2016
Jul 27, 2016 at 11:15 AM UTC
Drink all day
Maybe then the bad taste of life will go away
Maybe you'll see that no one stays
Maybe it was all worthless at the end of the day
Mar 21, 2016
Mar 21, 2016 at 10:45 PM UTC
todays the day that i watched you
walk away, as I died in my room,
I closed the shades and fell asleep,
and while I slept I dreamt,
I saw how skies could be blue
and realized the sky was you,
clouds drifting, birds dancing,
winds shifting, tranquility ending.
I find it strange how fast things change
for once it rains it’s never the same
but life goes on at the end of the song
I just hope my skies are blue
I watched the clouds grow over head,
I pled and said oh my,
the blue skies have gone away
just as the ground became dry,
The rain begins as I get drenched
and when I clenched my fists,
I got devoured by a mist,
that twists the mind for all of time
tho my mind was already broken
all that was spoken was washed from my ears,
and dear, it isn’t an easy fear
for your heart to not be able to hear,
when your heart can’t hear and the mind is blind
it’s hard to find meaning inside
yourself, making it hard to trust
the one you must, yourself
I find it strange how fast things change
for once it rains it’s never the same
but life goes on at the end of the song
I just hope my skies are blue
I felt the cold of the rain,
accepted the hold of the pain,
took the toll of shame,
and forgave all the blame,
I wake from the dream with skies clear
and realize all that I hold dear,
now that my days finally begun,
I look out and see the sun
I find it strange how fast things change
for once it rains it’s never the same
but life goes on at the end of the song
I just hope my skies are blue
Jan 23, 2016
Jan 23, 2016 at 2:42 AM UTC
Alone
One word that haunts so many
Crushes dreams of plenty
Makes us spend every penny
It's the word that makes us go mad
Staying up all night being so sad
Wishing for the things we had
It's the one thing that's way to real
And that way too many feel
Waiting for that one person to heal
Dec 1, 2015
Dec 1, 2015 at 11:50 PM UTC