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ben-balserak
ben-balserak
As all forms of artistic expression, words are a limited medium. They won't ever fully express what we want them to. And yet we struggle. I think it's the struggle that makes the reading worthwhile.
**** the power in myself Introspect; too much is left Read the pain between the lines Satan sleeps with me tonight Teach me love frugality Yellow fever spread by lips Nip the bud, and shear me clean.
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Feb 8, 2015
Feb 8, 2015 at 1:44 AM UTC
K.I.S.
The train never stops, It circles its circuits There's no on on board, And theres no one to work it The lonesomely captain, Is glued to the windows. A million fly past him Through shadows of ozone Each station he passes, He fondles the brake. His eyeballs turn plastic "I know that mistake" See, what if they steal Yet another train-car? There's pain in his heart, And he won't think that far. So he smudges away, And adds to the pile, Another small tear, Made of grease, blood, and smiles So onto the next, Every station in line, Taunts him, but he's Firmly made up his mind.
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Feb 8, 2015
Feb 8, 2015 at 1:43 AM UTC
The Train
Grat, smat, tack. my windows are black. and the raven (that raven) comes insatiably back and the windows and caskets and smallish ash-baskets (you'd better believe that they know what their task is) are holding the pieces, the embers, the sound and hollowing portions we make in the ground are the sickly embrace; a dismembering hug of a small, hump-backed hobo without heart or a lung. and his eye-hollows burn for to end Adam’s race and so often I wonder How the fleetest of foot can’t find the footing to escape. have you ever wondered "what if I died tomorrow" the earth would still twirl and seven billion of her people would never stop to cry. They didn't even know that you were alive. but that's fine.
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Jan 31, 2015
Jan 31, 2015 at 3:41 PM UTC
Ash-Baskets
Ashes to ashes As mine slowly fall The dead cannot speak But if listened, they'll call And I reek of the dead, And the dying, myself, As it goes to my head That a life is a death. I'm standing alone, As alone as I'll die, Regardless of those Who will doubtless stand by And the buildings and windows That I never built Relieve within me Some extraneous guilt. See, born as we were, By extension was I, Without obligation To those who have died We live in the cities We technically rent But the landlords, now dead Can't collect all this debt So the headstones and pillars Don't represent me, But there's one in the future To which I'll be freed So Manhattan, Manhattan, There's stones in my eyes, Reflecting old dirt and a rat in the sky.
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Jan 29, 2015
Jan 29, 2015 at 5:42 PM UTC
A Rat In The Sky
Upward-curled, gleam of white But as yet, something missing “I swear, I’m quite alright!” My wonder turns to stressing. Is she really quite alright? No-one wears their shoes, Socks upon the carpet Browning fog turning loose, But purple mist diffuses. Is she really quite alright? My wonder turns to worried health, I turn my focus to myself, I pull a beer down from the shelf, Indulging still our failing health, She smiles, as if to say that she’s alright. Trading sweat between our hands, A greeting shared from man to man We speak ambition, WE ARE PROUD Our cigarettes, they make no sound. They know that it will soon be their turn. To be or not… I have forgot. Our wasteland, wasted, seems alright It skips my mind I’m all I’ve got I’ve never put up much a fight I hope I’ll quickly be all right. But there are NO PROMISES And no safe-houses. smoke arouses surety, But holds the door for vanity. But as for me, I highly doubt she's feeling free. Charging, useless, up the hill, The last endeavor of it's kind, Cry peace, peace, but peace is killed, Fulfill the end of southern mind. There is no way that she's okay. As men in grey Lay on the ground Bleeding with untempered sound I cast my eyes about the house I find her broken, fading lips Pressed limp against assailant’s kiss Those pearls that were Her sentient eyes, They cast upon me smiling sighs She clings the arm of shifty eyes And leaves the party, new inside. And now I know she’s not alright. But then again, nor am I.
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Sep 30, 2014
Sep 30, 2014 at 7:20 PM UTC
Requiem For Female Dignity
Upward-curled, gleam of white But as yet, something missing “I swear, I’m quite alright!” My wonder turns to stressing. Is she really quite alright? No-one wears their shoes, Socks upon the carpet Browning fog turning loose, But purple mist diffuses. Is she really quite alright? My wonder turns to worried health, I turn my focus to myself, I pull a beer down from the shelf, Indulging still our failing health, She smiles, as if to say that she’s alright. Trading sweat between our hands, A greeting shared from man to man We speak ambition, WE ARE PROUD Our cigarettes, they make no sound. They know that it will soon be their turn. To be or not… I have forgot. Our wasteland, wasted, seems alright It skips my mind I’m all I’ve got I’ve never put up much a fight I hope I’ll quickly be all right. But there are NO PROMISES And no safe-houses. smoke arouses surety, But holds the door for vanity. But as for me, I highly doubt she's feeling free. Charging, useless, up the hill, The last endeavor of it's kind, Cry peace, peace, but peace is killed, Fulfill the end of southern mind. There is no way that she's okay. As men in grey Lay on the ground Bleeding with untempered sound I cast my eyes about the house I find her broken, fading lips Pressed limp against assailant’s kiss Those pearls that were Her sentient eyes, They cast upon me smiling sighs She clings the arm of shifty eyes And leaves the party, new inside. And now I know she’s not alright. But then again, nor am I.
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49
A warm embrace from city grates combats the colder breeze How then should I continue? A further stroll might treasure hold But of this, none assures me. Then why should I continue? I might have stayed and soothed my pain My legs had faltered for the thought Why then should I not stop? In short, I kept on in my walk, But often now I think of how I could be different now If only I had stopped.
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Sep 16, 2014
Sep 16, 2014 at 5:32 PM UTC
A Decision Quickly Made, And Quickly Forgot
I once knew a watch-thief Who stole for his own He wasted the time that he Stole on the road But this gypsy boy finds A young girl one day With a garland of flowers And a red satin waist She came from the highway That led to the city Her garments conveyed She was wealthy and pretty The gypsy boy wore Some old slacks and no shirt And he would not have seen her, But she introduced herself first Before hellos were said Or greetings exchanged Years later he said He could feel something change As she told him of ease That she left behind He fell to his knees And praised God’s good design If love is a lifetime, Then lend me your hand. The sparrows are witness That my promise stands And now our gypsy wagon Is off down the road And we’ll never stop moving Cause this is our home. This small band of gypsies, Now larger by one Trundle the pathways and roads they call home The watch-thief reclines with his girl in his arms they fall quickly in love ‘Neath the light of the stars. But if hindsight goes further And time teaches true There was blood in the water, If only he knew. She came down to his level But took it too far She went too far in revel And slowly, she broke the boy’s heart. The gypsy boy stood, Still stock still in his shock He ducked under the hood Of his caravan-rock He walked back to the city She’d said she was from He put it in a bag And he drank in the slums. If love is a lifetime, Then when will you come? The sparrows, our witness, flew too close to the sun And now my gypsy wagon Is off down the road And now I’ve nowhere to go because you were my home.
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Sep 12, 2014
Sep 12, 2014 at 2:41 AM UTC
The Watch-Thief
I once knew a watch-thief Who stole for his own He wasted the time that he Stole on the road But this gypsy boy finds A young girl one day With a garland of flowers And a red satin waist She came from the highway That led to the city Her garments conveyed She was wealthy and pretty The gypsy boy wore Some old slacks and no shirt And he would not have seen her, But she introduced herself first Before hellos were said Or greetings exchanged Years later he said He could feel something change As she told him of ease That she left behind He fell to his knees And praised God’s good design If love is a lifetime, Then lend me your hand. The sparrows are witness That my promise stands And now our gypsy wagon Is off down the road And we’ll never stop moving Cause this is our home. This small band of gypsies, Now larger by one Trundle the pathways and roads they call home The watch-thief reclines with his girl in his arms they fall quickly in love ‘Neath the light of the stars. But if hindsight goes further And time teaches true There was blood in the water, If only he knew. She came down to his level But took it too far She went too far in revel And slowly, she broke the boy’s heart. The gypsy boy stood, Still stock still in his shock He ducked under the hood Of his caravan-rock He walked back to the city She’d said she was from He put it in a bag And he drank in the slums. If love is a lifetime, Then when will you come? The sparrows, our witness, flew too close to the sun And now my gypsy wagon Is off down the road And now I’ve nowhere to go because you were my home.
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64
You were everything I thought I stood for. And I loved it. Then you became everything I stood for. And I loathed it. You were my other half. And I goaded you to change. I didn’t understand that if we were the same, Then we would both be the same half. I didn’t understand that two identical halves don’t make a whole. You needed to be different. Or in other words, you needed to stay the same. You can’t really love someone else If you want them to be just like you. That’s just loving yourself. And you can’t love someone else If all you want is to love yourself.
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Sep 12, 2014
Sep 12, 2014 at 1:32 AM UTC
Halves
Time is just a burning fuse What’s burnt is burnt is gone The water beats the boat I’m on, This bustle- what’s the use? The stern is sternly, surely set, Turned ‘round ‘till North is found The ubiquitous Now is still somehow, A measure of regret. But how I wonder, weight the pain Consider- is it wrong? Regret is often, after all, The fix for work in vain I keep the future full in view, And oft I ask ‘how long?’ I’ve much regret, but none so strong Than time I spent on you.
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Sep 8, 2014
Sep 8, 2014 at 6:54 PM UTC
I Give My Thanks To My Regrets