Last night I let you in,
more than normal.
I let you in because I see you.
I see you,
but do you see me?
I know, I know, I am not supposed to love you,
not supposed to think about you.
Yet, my lips they yearn for yours
to meet as often as the sea meets the shore
I know, I am not supposed to love you,
but your eyes pull me
your heart is a beat i love to dance to
and your person, well is a person I have to try not to love
and much like the rest of the world
I
am not supposed to love you.
Apr 8, 2018
Apr 8, 2018 at 8:21 PM UTC
Into the toxicity of your mind
The crafted words from your soft lips
To someone without my ears
To someone with your heart
Into the poisonous of your arms
Which are now holding someone without my body
Touching skin that is not mine
And elating feelings that for me no longer exist
Into your lethal heart
That used to beat for me
Now beats a rhythm I cannot longer dance to
And holds a song I no longer sing
Into your veneered eyes
The longing look of love
Straining to peer at eyes that are not mine
Answered by someone without my pupils
How I long for insight into your mind
A mind I no longer care for
But still yearn for validation from
A mind for which is no longer vacant for me
Apr 8, 2018
Apr 8, 2018 at 8:16 PM UTC
A day without you,
Is like a day without land
But I bought this boat,
I said goodbye
I am not allowed to yearn,
For the grass under my feet
I told the grass and trees,
I don’t want them anymore
So here I am,
At sea
But sometimes those waves,
That once rocked me to sleep
Ya those waves I wanted,
Instead of leaves
They crash over me,
Until I cant breath
And I cry out for land,
Just to steady me
But the land isn’t there,
Because I said no more
And the sea is endless,
And there is no shore
So Ill sail away,
Until tomorrows end
Because the land I need,
I told to leave.
Apr 8, 2018
Apr 8, 2018 at 8:14 PM UTC
I am force fed mud,
and expected to create water.
Surrounded by darkness,
and told to be the light.
I am deceived,
only to spill the truth.
I am what you made me:
very, very flawed.
Jan 8, 2016
Jan 8, 2016 at 10:25 PM UTC
I did not do it for you,
punch that mirror,
slice my hand open,
which is now stitched up.
I did it for me,
to get through to the reflection,
to inform them,
they are better without you.
I did not do it for you,
I did it for the hand attached to me,
because it will never know
the pain of being alone.
I did it for me,
So I could justify my crying,
I wasn't some stupid girl,
Upset over a boy.
I didn't do it for you,
I promise,
I did it for me,
I love to hurt.
Jul 5, 2015
Jul 5, 2015 at 10:43 PM UTC
Fresh and cold,
Traces of others are left behind,
Warm from someone else’s body.
Bright green and pungent,
Rows and rows of structure.
Arms stretched out inviting you in,
Desks buckle you in for your journey,
Constrained in the sea of green,
One amongst a hundred.
Smells of sweet and pungent fill your nostrils,
Making you queasy,
Reminding you, you are not the first,
Nor the last.
All facing the same structure,
Illuminated by rows and rows of lights,
Empty wooden U- shaped chairs stare back,
Blank screens stare to the rows and rows of green.
A clock reminds you of life,
It slowly ticks
You wonder when this ticking will stop,
And you too will be just part of the structure.
Imagine this room flooded,
No with water,
Nor a basic organic matter,
But faces like daisies peeking up,
To try and get some of that light.
Complex and curious,
The green does not move,
But calls for the movement of others,
Pleading for you to get closer to the light,
To the blank,
That is center stage.
Trapped in green,
You cannot move,
Arms incase you,
Desks control you,
And this light,
It has captured you.
Jul 5, 2015
Jul 5, 2015 at 10:35 PM UTC
I was a triangle.
Three sided.
Predictable.
I thought you were too.
Three sided.
Predictable.
Two triangles.
A diamond.
Perfect.
One side.
Happiness.
Sunshine.
Second Side.
Sadness.
Raining.
Third Side.
Lust.
Sunsets.
You were a circle.
One side.
Forever.
Around and around.
Disguised.
Infinite.
Jul 5, 2015
Jul 5, 2015 at 10:30 PM UTC
You told me we have forever,
then you decided forever
was too many months.
You told me I was beautiful,
then you decided beautiful
was only when I was happy.
You told me I was priority,
then you decided priority
was after everything else.
You told me not to hurt,
then you decided that hurt
was not what you were doing.
You told me we were perfect,
then you decided that perfect
was only you.
I told you goodbye,
then you decided goodbye
was not real.
Jul 5, 2015
Jul 5, 2015 at 10:22 PM UTC
I sit and I listen all day.
I know how to write and
solve functions and all about
the anatomy of a human.
I listen to professors drone on
and obediently I write every word down.
Afterwards I sit and I stare
and question; when will I need this?
I am homesick and miss my love.
I am tired and stuck.
I feel helpless and out of control.
And yet, I sit and I listen all day.
Oct 28, 2014
Oct 28, 2014 at 11:40 PM UTC
I am sick and tired of you talking about other girls
Calling them weird and ugly and fake
When it is you who slathers on the makeup
Hiding behind false beauty
I am tired of overhearing you calling a girl fat
Because she is not a size two
When it is you who starved yourself
To look as you do today
I am done with you walking like you have a stick up your ***
Pretentiously scavenging the halls for your next target
When it is you who has been the target as of late
And you pay no mind
I am appalled by your arrogance
Telling professionals they have no right to tell you how to live
When they can see where you are heading
For you are not as original as you seem
I am sorry for how sad you must be
Constantly looking inward
When all you find is an empty abyss
Peering back at you
I am apologetic for what you have to go through
Constantly fighting battles that are far beyond your years
When they are far bigger then you
And anything you can do
Most of all
I am content
That we are not longer friends
No longer yearning for
When all you could tell me
Was how bad I was.
May 13, 2014
May 13, 2014 at 10:48 PM UTC