I saw him for the 100th time today and he looked a 1000 times better than he looked when I laid my eyes on him and he couldn't have looked as wonderful as he did at that moment
Honestly I thought I was over him
Yes... It's still him
And I can't seem to get my mind out of the gutter he pulled me into
He touched my hand and every form of energy went through me in that passing moment and it felt like an eternity had passed since we last said hello
But it was only this afternoon as we sat waiting for that dreaded Geo exam paper
I couldn't help but look at his smile and think that he could be the reason I take my first breath every morning
I honestly thought I was over him but nah life never works out that way hey
I need a new addiction
Because the one I have now is killing me
And I know that it is inevitable but I couldn't help it
I couldn't help becoming a ******
Jan 31, 2016
Jan 31, 2016 at 6:05 AM UTC
We could've worked out me and you
Maybe in a different time or even a different place
All I know is that we could've worked out me and you
If you didn't represent the high school ****
And I the freshman wannabe
We could've brisked off into the sunset Or at least hid away from all the drama Even only for a day
We could've had it good
Afternoon picnics on a summer's day
Late night phone calls about the nightmare I just had
Laying on the grass Looking up at the stars Smoking cigarettes and listening to our favourite band
God. Why didn't we work out me and you
It would've been such a beautiful thing to watch
Oct 21, 2015
Oct 21, 2015 at 3:17 AM UTC
Sometimes I write poetry that even I myself do not understand
And I have to read it over and over again just to figure out what is written on the page
Sometimes it helps me figure out my true feelings
But most of the time I realise that it isn't me writing on the page
It is something deep inside
Something that I have been trying to **** with every lit cigarette And every bottle of ***** I could ever ingest
But just like everything in life
Karma is a *****
And Attempted ****** is still not ******
Oct 3, 2015
Oct 3, 2015 at 12:30 PM UTC
Why are things like Death and Love immortal.
When they are the ones that cause the most pain.
Jul 15, 2015
Jul 15, 2015 at 6:29 PM UTC
Do you know?
Every dream I dream is of choking the life out of your girlfriend.
If I ever see her alone in the street I will probably slap her in the face.
Do you know?
I have visions of slashing your face leaving you with a scar so deep just so I'm the only one who tells you you're beautiful and means it.
The scar I leave on your face is not nearly as deep as the mark engraved in my soul.
Do you know?
My diary is tired of feeling your name printed permanently with my tears.
Do you know?
You're the last person I think about before I sleep. Like your name is signed on the inside of my eyelids.
Do you know?
I'd walk up a thousand hills with just the hope that I would see you.
Do you know?
When I see you or even the mention of your name gets me all excited I have to count 143 just to calm myself down.
Do you know?
The effect that you have on me.
Is that why you break me down.
Is that why you give me false hope.
Act like I'm your Queen because you know that you are my Last Pharaoh.
You whisper me sweet dreams.
You make me fairytales.
Do you know?
I am oblivious to your manipulation because...
Do you know?
My heart is broken because you left and I...I am lost
Do you know?
She is doing cartwheels to the sound of my battered heart.
She has reversed her stroke in the pool of alcohol I have provided.
She is floating on the smoke of the cigarettes that have burnt my soul.
Do you know?
The last time I felt like this I was 14 and still a ******
Do you know?!
It's you.
It's always been you.
And you broke my heart.
So here it is.
I don't need it anymore.
If it's not beating for you then why the hell does it still work.
Baby
Do you know?!
I am in love with you
Jul 15, 2015
Jul 15, 2015 at 6:24 PM UTC
Let me inject you with a metaphor
An euphemism of my life
The reality of the real world
I spew profanity
I smoke
I drink
I ****
I am such a bad person that people think I'm joking, because no one can be so cruel right? And that's the only reason I have friends
I think about heaven every now and then
But hell is like a brewery in my stomach
I ***** negativity
And allow my demon to control my thoughts
She is my only stability, my only sanity
My walk is the footsteps you hear in a horror movie
My legs are pin needles stuck out to pierce the side of everyone who gets close to me
My arms give guidance to the slaying of wrists and popping of pills
My heartbeat is the crack of a woman's rib in a broken home
My chest is the homepage of insecurity and doubt
My lips are the poison kiss of loneliness
My tongue tastes darkness covered in sparkling lies
My eyes are the pathway to her
I am her slave and I will do anything she asks of me
So please don't look into me Because she is constantly waiting for her next victim
Don't try to save me
You have no idea as to who I am
Hi
I'm Basbee
I have trapped a demon inside of me
She is cold and lonely
She's mean, rude and quite frankly a *****
Basically she's like me
Except she torments me from the inside
She has officially burnt a hole in my heart And all that's left is barely pumping blood
I am deoxygenated Because she keeps stealing every breath of fresh air I inhale
She has me mentally and emotionally ****** up So the only good part I had left was my physicality And she had to **** that up too
I have these scars More like tattoos, to remind me that I am mortal and one day I will leave this body and She will be free
I bet you're asking by now "Why don't you let her go?"
I can't
She is a part of me
And without her I would fall apart Because right now She's the reason I'm trying to paint a picture of myself To remember who I was when I was young
Because right now She's the reason that I believe in a God
I am a dark twisted fairytale
And I know how my story ends
She will eventually break out of the haunted prison she lives in And leave me warden to my own shadow
May 10, 2015
May 10, 2015 at 3:39 PM UTC
**I would've done anything for you
And you chose death over me**
Feb 24, 2015
Feb 24, 2015 at 8:41 AM UTC
Him
If only u knew how much I once cared for you
Her
I never thought I would lose you
Him
I never thought u would stay the same
Her
*I guess that's the problem
Everything changes
And people always expect me to be some transformer*
Him
*No
I expected u to take my hand when I stretched out for you*
Her
*I was lost
And for some reason I didn't want to be found
And even though you were constantly waiting for me
I couldn't step out of my comfort zone*
Him
*I wanted so much to be there for you
As a friend and as a lover
But I felt like every time we had *** it was just *** for you
I wanted us to make love*
Her
*I knew that you would never hurt me
But
I was afraid
So I blocked you out and tried to mute what I felt for you*
Him
I wanted to be your super man
Her
*I know
I will always be your damsel in distress*
Him
*This is a cruel world
And I don't wanna get hurt*
Her
Nobody wants to get hurt We only get a say in who hurts us
Him
*But we lose those who don't want to hurt
And end up with those who hurt
Because we're stupid*
Her
*I'm stupid
I'm sorry*
Him
*I've always forgiven you
Even before you **** up*
Her
*I'm sorry
I love you*
Jan 30, 2015
Jan 30, 2015 at 4:27 PM UTC
It isn't the one night that hurt
It's the lie that you told every night after
Jan 21, 2015
Jan 21, 2015 at 4:17 PM UTC
We are growing further apart
And the only reason that this upsets me
Is because you're taking my heart.
When did you rip it out of my chest?
Was it when you told me that I already had yours?
Or was it when you took my celibacy
That I unknowingly unlocked myself to you?
What happened to making it work
No matter what
**Hold me in your heart
Because it is the closest thing to my soul
--You will always be remembered
Because my spirit decided to settle in you
---Give me your body
So that I will never have to go anywhere without you**
Why did you leave?
Did I do something wrong?
It's not you, it's me
Don't lie to me
I am always the reason
You always play the victim, get over yourself
Just like the way you got over me
While I was sitting on the outside designing miniskirts for your cheerleaders
You are always waiting
I thought I needed to wait for you to love me
And I could've awaited eternity
But instead I searched forever
Looking for someone who had not yet found himself
**Fly with me to Neverland
Where even after eternities of forevers
I will find you
--Swim with me across the seven seas
Where our thoughts are permeable and diluted
I can understand you
---Lay with me
You are an everlasting illusion of love
I dream you**
Jan 21, 2015
Jan 21, 2015 at 6:42 AM UTC