I love it when you smile against my lips
I love it when you whisper my name in the dark
And our bared teeth clash when we kiss
Because the humanity of it’s my favorite part
And how we pretty much never quit when we start.
I miss it when you would massage my sore muscles
And hold me while I just cried and cried and cried
I miss it when you’d comfort me when I struggled
Even when the light in my eyes died.
I loved you then and I loved you when,
I love you even though you’re my friend.
**** I hate that I ruined everything.
Did I even ruin anything?
Would you tell me if I stood a chance?
When I don’t even know where I stand?
I’m not over you, and then I am.
I’m over it all, and then I cry again.
Why is it like this? I’m the one who left.
It’s not quite moving on, but it’s not quite regret.
But I haven’t even said goodbye yet.
I feel like I don’t have the right to mourn you.
Especially when I didn’t lose anything at all.
But you don’t seem very sad about it.
Did you even lose anything at all?
Will you still be here to catch me if/when I fall?
May 7
May 7, 2026 at 2:09 AM UTC
I light the tip and place
you between my lips
Resting gently against them
As I breathe you in.
And when I inevitably choke,
All you do is smile down.
Because you know I don’t smoke,
But I’m starting now.
(Plus, its cute when I try to take it all)
You glow orange as I hollow my cheeks,
But pink, untouched lungs burn with smoke.
Inhaling you until I pass out from oxygen deprivation.
And you urge me to do more, MORE, begging and pleading for me to just keep going.
When I finally breathe a plume of white out, hacking and sputtering, you tilt up my chin and smile with those lazy, satisfied eyes.
But now, having breathed YOU in,
I am ruined for oxygen.
And through my daze, I say in the haze,
“Again.”
As I wipe my chin on the back of my hand,
You laugh and say, “as you demand.”
But we both know, it’s not up to me.
Pull my hair, it’s what I need.
Apr 21
Apr 21, 2026 at 3:02 AM UTC
I loved you all these years before,
And I’ll love you forevermore;
You, the one I’ve been searching for.
I will love you forevermore.
And as long as I’m alive, I’ll feel it,
I always feel it when I close my eyes.
By ‘it’ I mean your kiss on my lips.
Because that kind of love never dies.
Having known love, I have changed
Because people never stay the same.
And deep in the recesses of my brain,
Here will be a space for your name.
And I have been changed forevermore,
Because I loved him all those years before.
And it was her at a time that I adored,
But I will always love them forevermore.
Finding comfort in relationships that end,
I’m so grateful that you were my friend.
And in a way, you still are my friend.
I invested love in the time that we spent.
No, we don’t ever talk anymore.
But I reminisce over forgotten lore.
And while it wasn’t what I searched for…
I will love you forevermore.
And when I decompose,
Love will warm my bones.
And it will keep me warm,
Now and forevermore.
Jan 18
Jan 18, 2026 at 5:29 AM UTC
Tie me up with your rosaries
Make me relive the memories
Of when I worshipped you.
Waterboard me in the wine
Lick my tears made of brine
And I’ll be holy too.
If I’m not always suffering,
Am I even still struggling?
What else can I do?
I’m not very religious,
But I’m superstitious
Trying to break though.
I count to myself like a clock,
And always check the lock,
But I can’t subdue…
Your eyes are crystal blue
And I want to forgive
But I drowned in you
And I can’t forget it
It will **** me, if I let it.
Jan 1
Jan 1, 2026 at 5:04 PM UTC
He sits on my chest while I sleep
Crushing my lungs so I can’t breathe
And my sobs are choked, can’t scream
While I pray that it’s just a dream.
Jan 1
Jan 1, 2026 at 4:49 PM UTC
I just can’t wait to see
For you to finally believe
That it’s way too late for me
And I’m beyond saving
I wish I didn’t feel my emotions in my skin
I wish my arms didn’t cry out to me
I wish my organs wouldn’t squirm and let in
Everything I try to hide, everything
Only when I can see the blood
Do I remember that I’m human
Because before the flood,
I drown in my own dissolution
Jul 15, 2025
Jul 15, 2025 at 11:07 PM UTC
Phases constitute an inherent temporary nature,
but you are an oxymoronic constant.
Through every color, every shape, and every major
change, I steadily grow the fondest.
Patience is not something that I typically lack,
though I do ask for something small in return.
So long as you promise to always come back,
I can handle the cycles for which you yearn.
May 18, 2025
May 18, 2025 at 3:32 AM UTC
The clear salt crystalizes within my raw, pink throat
But I taste it like coppery blood on my tongue
The regret wells deep down in my chest, like smoke
It’s hard to navigate shame when you’re young
I got what I wanted, but what I wanted isn’t what I got
The words burn at my nose, eyes, ears, cheeks
Always words I want to say, but, then again, maybe not
Worry grips me, because what if you have critiques?
Will you want to carry a piece of me with you, without having a piece of me?
Is love something we can share without making it? Not that I don’t want to,
But I don’t know what’s good, what’s sane. Can you still love me, if you can’t touch me?
Is it the touching that’s tangible love? Would it hurt not to? Would it be hard to?
I want to recline in our bed, but it’s on fire
Like my skin when you talk to me like that
I’m reluctant, and hate my own desires
It’s confusing, if one can surmise that.
I black out sometimes, and I’m already exhaling
When the cold hits my skin, I wish I never spoke
When I come to, resistance is already failing
Suds wash my mouth out, making me…
May 9, 2025
May 9, 2025 at 6:31 PM UTC
A piece of me fades every time the needle drags through my grooves,
and the sounds I make each repetition degrade along with me.
Each revolution, again and again...
Front and back, the cycle never ends.
The first note stops, then 'til the end...
The last note plays, the first begins.
On my back I lay and warp, then I can't play anymore.
May 2, 2025
May 2, 2025 at 10:53 PM UTC