aysha-ahmed - Hello Poetry

I used to think I was reasonably strong. Right until You came along. You tore down my wall With just one look. It felt like you knew me for centuries You read me like a book. The memories still linger With other thoughts in my head. What if I wasn't his, But I was yours instead. I dreamt big, Bigger than I though it could. You taught me how to I never thought I would. Now I'm getting my dream holiday, It was our dream. But it's not with you. What do I do? Every time I think about it I break a little more inside. But you broke me and left me, Left me here to die. It kills me slowly everyday, The fact that I'll never hear you say, "I love you Aysha, And I'm here to stay" Stay in my life, That's all I ever asked, Don't shut me out, Especially not when I need you. I need you More than ever right now. I need you to hold me up When all I want to do is break down. You're my biggest strength But also my greatest weakness.

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Feb 7, 2017

Feb 7, 2017 at 9:07 AM UTC

Every strong person has a weakness...

I used to think I was reasonably strong. Right until You came along. You tore down my wall With just one look. It felt like you knew me for centuries You read me like a book. The memories still linger With other thoughts in my head. What if I wasn't his, But I was yours instead. I dreamt big, Bigger than I though it could. You taught me how to I never thought I would. Now I'm getting my dream holiday, It was our dream. But it's not with you. What do I do? Every time I think about it I break a little more inside. But you broke me and left me, Left me here to die. It kills me slowly everyday, The fact that I'll never hear you say, "I love you Aysha, And I'm here to stay" Stay in my life, That's all I ever asked, Don't shut me out, Especially not when I need you. I need you More than ever right now. I need you to hold me up When all I want to do is break down. You're my biggest strength But also my greatest weakness.

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When the nights are long And I can't sleep a wink. My brain won't shut off All I do is think. The thoughts in my head Would scare you away. But promise me one thing, That you're here to stay. Don't leave me behind Like you have done before. My heart can't take it, My mind is at war. The last time we spoke It was meant to be goodbye. You were meant to move on And not come back into my life. I was starting to get over you And all the pain you left behind. Now you've come back, Why? Maybe it's true what they say Once you have that Once in a lifetime love. Things can never turn back. Iv tried everything Besides ripping my heart out. I doubt that would even work, You'd still be there. You're engraved In my heart You're in my blood, Look at us now. I wish I knew where I stood

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Feb 4, 2017

Feb 4, 2017 at 3:57 PM UTC

When the nights are long

When the nights are long And I can't sleep a wink. My brain won't shut off All I do is think. The thoughts in my head Would scare you away. But promise me one thing, That you're here to stay. Don't leave me behind Like you have done before. My heart can't take it, My mind is at war. The last time we spoke It was meant to be goodbye. You were meant to move on And not come back into my life. I was starting to get over you And all the pain you left behind. Now you've come back, Why? Maybe it's true what they say Once you have that Once in a lifetime love. Things can never turn back. Iv tried everything Besides ripping my heart out. I doubt that would even work, You'd still be there. You're engraved In my heart You're in my blood, Look at us now. I wish I knew where I stood

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We met today After a very long time. It felt strange. But in a good way. Talking about How everything's changed. You're sad that we went Our separate ways. Baby I never meant to hurt you I didn't know how you felt. I distanced myself from everyone It made sense. My life was a mess I would have dragged you down too. I didn't think you're stick by me, It was too good to be true. You're successful And accomplished, Baby I'm a mess. I thought it was just fun, The times that we had. My heart was torn, From the memories we shared. I didn't know you wanted me And what you felt was true. I thought it was impossible, For there to be me and you...

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Jan 1, 2017

Jan 1, 2017 at 3:14 PM UTC

We met today...

We met today After a very long time. It felt strange. But in a good way. Talking about How everything's changed. You're sad that we went Our separate ways. Baby I never meant to hurt you I didn't know how you felt. I distanced myself from everyone It made sense. My life was a mess I would have dragged you down too. I didn't think you're stick by me, It was too good to be true. You're successful And accomplished, Baby I'm a mess. I thought it was just fun, The times that we had. My heart was torn, From the memories we shared. I didn't know you wanted me And what you felt was true. I thought it was impossible, For there to be me and you...

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Yes I still think About us About the times we had About what we shared. I know I shouldn't But I can't help it. You were my first love Nobody made me Feel the way you did Nobody made me Fall the way you did Nobody Kissed my scars Nobody Knew what's really in my heart Not like you did. I know we've said Our last goodbyes. I know you have Moved on with life. But I can help it, I lay awake and wonder. Do you ever think of me Miss me even? Your touch made everything Bearable Your words made everything Feel surreal Like nothing ever happened Like I wasn't so broken Like the world was at my feet I only had to reach.

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Dec 18, 2016

Dec 18, 2016 at 9:11 PM UTC

Still think about us...

Yes I still think About us About the times we had About what we shared. I know I shouldn't But I can't help it. You were my first love Nobody made me Feel the way you did Nobody made me Fall the way you did Nobody Kissed my scars Nobody Knew what's really in my heart Not like you did. I know we've said Our last goodbyes. I know you have Moved on with life. But I can help it, I lay awake and wonder. Do you ever think of me Miss me even? Your touch made everything Bearable Your words made everything Feel surreal Like nothing ever happened Like I wasn't so broken Like the world was at my feet I only had to reach.

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You're so beautiful You're amazing You're my Disney princess Lies! Lie to me again I dare you. Tell me you want me again I dare you. Break me down Threaten me. Overpower me and Try to **** me. Do it all over again I dare you. Tell me I'm your world again I dare you. Honey you don't know What love is. Don't act like you do. Love and lust Are two different things. One is comprised of beauty The other of pain. Iv been there before Been pushed to the ground. I got back up And I'm standing proud. You attempt to contact me. But darling it's pointless. You don't deserve a place In my heart or in my life. I gave u 3 months, Which went from heaven To hell. You proved your worth. Worth nothing more Than a pile of crap, That's all your words and lies were, A load of **** Don't try and come back, I won't reply I won't give u the satisfaction. I'll make you wish you died!!

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Dec 1, 2016

Dec 1, 2016 at 4:01 PM UTC

Your lies....

You're so beautiful You're amazing You're my Disney princess Lies! Lie to me again I dare you. Tell me you want me again I dare you. Break me down Threaten me. Overpower me and Try to **** me. Do it all over again I dare you. Tell me I'm your world again I dare you. Honey you don't know What love is. Don't act like you do. Love and lust Are two different things. One is comprised of beauty The other of pain. Iv been there before Been pushed to the ground. I got back up And I'm standing proud. You attempt to contact me. But darling it's pointless. You don't deserve a place In my heart or in my life. I gave u 3 months, Which went from heaven To hell. You proved your worth. Worth nothing more Than a pile of crap, That's all your words and lies were, A load of **** Don't try and come back, I won't reply I won't give u the satisfaction. I'll make you wish you died!!

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When I lay in bed And wish you were here. I think of everything we've done Everything we've been through When I cant think straight And things are so bad. I call u to save me From the thoughts in my head. When I'm happier than ever On top of the world. I wish you're there to see me To smile and say you're proud. You look at me, Like I'm the only one. Me and you, The perfect love song. Honeymooning in Bali, Bulgari rings. I hope you know my love It was never about the things. I love you for you, How the butterflies erupt Everytime I see your face. To be in your arms And have you hold me close That is my last dying wish Before my body goes cold. I'll be forever in your heart If you want me to be. I'll live there with u For the rest of eternity

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Oct 6, 2016

Oct 6, 2016 at 7:04 PM UTC

My last wish

When I lay in bed And wish you were here. I think of everything we've done Everything we've been through When I cant think straight And things are so bad. I call u to save me From the thoughts in my head. When I'm happier than ever On top of the world. I wish you're there to see me To smile and say you're proud. You look at me, Like I'm the only one. Me and you, The perfect love song. Honeymooning in Bali, Bulgari rings. I hope you know my love It was never about the things. I love you for you, How the butterflies erupt Everytime I see your face. To be in your arms And have you hold me close That is my last dying wish Before my body goes cold. I'll be forever in your heart If you want me to be. I'll live there with u For the rest of eternity

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Welcome to the O2 voicemail service. The words so repetitive So familiar In my head. Countless calls Countless messages. Countless times, Sitting here reminiscing Reminiscing the times we had The FaceTime calls, The times we spent together, True love conquers all. That's what you said. Now that Iv said goodbye The world feels like It's crashing and burning. The earth swallowing me whole. Yes it hurt to say goodbye More than you will ever know. The few tears you saw They wernt just for show. My whole world collapsed I didn't plan for this to happen. I thought about it a lot, Yet it still killed me. You can't delay the inevitable That's what people say. But the pain is still there I don't think I'll be ok. Maybe it would have been better For us to drift apart. But baby I wouldn't have told u, All the things that broke my heart.

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Oct 3, 2016

Oct 3, 2016 at 5:25 PM UTC

O2 messaging service

Welcome to the O2 voicemail service. The words so repetitive So familiar In my head. Countless calls Countless messages. Countless times, Sitting here reminiscing Reminiscing the times we had The FaceTime calls, The times we spent together, True love conquers all. That's what you said. Now that Iv said goodbye The world feels like It's crashing and burning. The earth swallowing me whole. Yes it hurt to say goodbye More than you will ever know. The few tears you saw They wernt just for show. My whole world collapsed I didn't plan for this to happen. I thought about it a lot, Yet it still killed me. You can't delay the inevitable That's what people say. But the pain is still there I don't think I'll be ok. Maybe it would have been better For us to drift apart. But baby I wouldn't have told u, All the things that broke my heart.

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I know there's times That you lay awake at night, Thinking of all that was, All that is And all that could be. I know there's times When you feel weak. You feel so empty So numb And so lost. I know there's times You wake in the night From a nightmare. Shaking, Sweating Crying. I know there's times You tried to fight it. To act like you're ok You are OK You're fine. I know there's times You look in the mirror, See yourself looking back But who is that? Is it you? I know there's times That you wish You could go back in time. Erase all the hurt Erase all the pain. Truth is though You can't turn back, You can't erase it all. You can't think, You can't sleep. You feel sick to the stomach. But you keep on fighting Fighting for another day, Fighting to see the light At the end of the tunnel. Fighting for love. Fighting for family. Fighting for friendships. You're stronger than most, Stronger than me. You keep on going. You keep on fighting.

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Jul 1, 2016

Jul 1, 2016 at 9:45 AM UTC

I know....

I know there's times That you lay awake at night, Thinking of all that was, All that is And all that could be. I know there's times When you feel weak. You feel so empty So numb And so lost. I know there's times You wake in the night From a nightmare. Shaking, Sweating Crying. I know there's times You tried to fight it. To act like you're ok You are OK You're fine. I know there's times You look in the mirror, See yourself looking back But who is that? Is it you? I know there's times That you wish You could go back in time. Erase all the hurt Erase all the pain. Truth is though You can't turn back, You can't erase it all. You can't think, You can't sleep. You feel sick to the stomach. But you keep on fighting Fighting for another day, Fighting to see the light At the end of the tunnel. Fighting for love. Fighting for family. Fighting for friendships. You're stronger than most, Stronger than me. You keep on going. You keep on fighting.

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How can I ever compare She's the definition Of perfection I'll never been enough. Just the thought The sight or mention Makes me feel like I'm nothing. How can I ever compare She's tall, slim Everything you ever wanted. I'm just me. You say you're over her But when she's mentioned Your eyes light up. I wish I had that effect on you. I have made mistakes Iv done you wrong. Now I'm slipping into A black hole. A black hole That I can't escape from. Drowning deeper and deeper. Will I ever be enough? I'm not fit, **** or beautiful. I'm nothing In comparison to her. She's everything. Does your heart still Skip a beat When she calls or texts. Did that ever happen when I did? I'll never be her, No matter how hard I try. How do I ever compare to perfection When I'm just me.

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Apr 24, 2016

Apr 24, 2016 at 3:48 AM UTC

How do I ever compare?

How can I ever compare She's the definition Of perfection I'll never been enough. Just the thought The sight or mention Makes me feel like I'm nothing. How can I ever compare She's tall, slim Everything you ever wanted. I'm just me. You say you're over her But when she's mentioned Your eyes light up. I wish I had that effect on you. I have made mistakes Iv done you wrong. Now I'm slipping into A black hole. A black hole That I can't escape from. Drowning deeper and deeper. Will I ever be enough? I'm not fit, **** or beautiful. I'm nothing In comparison to her. She's everything. Does your heart still Skip a beat When she calls or texts. Did that ever happen when I did? I'll never be her, No matter how hard I try. How do I ever compare to perfection When I'm just me.

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Why do I always come second, Am I not good enough? Don't compete with your precious family. Can't compete. You married me. Promised to love and care for me No matter what. But I come second. Yes you mostly do Put my needs above your own. But it's like a hierarchy, My status is almost unknown. After everything I do for you and everyone else, What do I do? Only time will tell. I know it's hard, Finding the balance of things. You say your trying But I don't know if you will. Maybe I have to change, And just accept things How they are. Maybe this is what I deserve, Putting everyone before me, Putting you above everyone, Friends, family and myself. I've already taught you That I come second, Unknowingly it's true. I don't deserve to be put first. Not by anyone, Not even you. But I'm afraid. Afraid that the pressure Might crack me Till I'm completely broken. I'm afraid there'll come a time, That I'll have to walk away.

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Oct 13, 2015

Oct 13, 2015 at 1:57 PM UTC

I always come second...

Why do I always come second, Am I not good enough? Don't compete with your precious family. Can't compete. You married me. Promised to love and care for me No matter what. But I come second. Yes you mostly do Put my needs above your own. But it's like a hierarchy, My status is almost unknown. After everything I do for you and everyone else, What do I do? Only time will tell. I know it's hard, Finding the balance of things. You say your trying But I don't know if you will. Maybe I have to change, And just accept things How they are. Maybe this is what I deserve, Putting everyone before me, Putting you above everyone, Friends, family and myself. I've already taught you That I come second, Unknowingly it's true. I don't deserve to be put first. Not by anyone, Not even you. But I'm afraid. Afraid that the pressure Might crack me Till I'm completely broken. I'm afraid there'll come a time, That I'll have to walk away.

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