ode to a dead friend
sometimes i wish it was me instead.
Aug 18, 2022
Aug 18, 2022 at 5:58 AM UTC
the hardest part of watching you leave is that you never really left at all
i still feel your teeth nib my bottom lip
i still slow dance to our song
i smell you in the flowers from that summer in your dad's car
i see your sweet boyish smile on crescent moon when i wish for your return upon a star.
the hardest part of watching you leave is not
looking for you in different people and pretending that that’s okay
the hardest part of watching you leave is not knowing why you never stayed.
Aug 17, 2022
Aug 17, 2022 at 8:54 PM UTC
sometimes when i think of you
it is when i am kissing his lips
i envision the teeth that would clash clumsily,
how we’d laugh, and i would smell your breath of stale peppermint
sometimes when i think of you
it is when i’m alone in my room
my hands are now yours - large with long fingers
curious and wanting as they wander in the warmth between my thighs
sometimes when i think of you
it is when i cry myself to sleep
i scream into the pillow, that smells like your skin - the sun
and i think it is time i stop thinking about you.
then there are times when i think of us
we are rubbing noses under the stars
i tell you about my dreams that are little but you still listen,
and i think i have fallen in love.
Mar 31, 2022
Mar 31, 2022 at 10:25 AM UTC
i don't smoke
but sometimes i do put a cigarette between my lips.
it is not because i am my father's daughter,
it is because it reminds me of your kiss.
so warm,
so raw,
so very suffocating.
the taste of the i love yous
and the goodbyes
of a dying cancer patient.
Mar 29, 2022
Mar 29, 2022 at 6:12 PM UTC
i don't remember your face,
or the taste of your lips
on a hot summer's night,
your hands glued to my hips.
i don't remember your smell
of cheap men's cologne,
or the dark of the room
where you left me alone.
i don't remember a thing,
is what i wish i could say
but i still remember you,
and your dumb kissable face.
Mar 24, 2022
Mar 24, 2022 at 10:23 PM UTC
my heart is claustrophobic
my heart is scared of heights
she sleeps with the lights on
she gets overwhelmed by the night
with its judging moon and its boasting stars
the lurking shadows, the quiet dark
there is so much she fears
so so much that makes her convulse.
her worst fear, however, is the fear of falling in love.
Mar 19, 2022
Mar 19, 2022 at 10:04 AM UTC
he swore to me he was a man of god
a man of god who performed the ungodly
he had a rosary wrapped around his arm
pearl white beads strung around his protruding veins
the crucifix dangled between his thumb and index finger
the same thumb caressing my bud
the same index finger soon to pluck out the petals of my flower
i, starved, took a bite of the apple.
as we shared the fruit in a forbidden kiss
i thought to myself:
“did jesus die for this?”
Mar 15, 2022
Mar 15, 2022 at 5:32 PM UTC
how could you?
how could you
pry open my legs
then my heart
then all my
many other
disposable parts?
Mar 14, 2022
Mar 14, 2022 at 9:15 PM UTC
we are hidden in the dark of the room
we are tucked in the warmth of the bed
your lips burn kisses through the skin of my back
my fingers scratch fondly at the scalp of your head.
you are lost in the deepest sleep
i am trapped in an aching wake
in your dreams, you whisper you will always love me
in your room, i whisper: "don't make that mistake."
Oct 11, 2021
Oct 11, 2021 at 12:54 PM UTC
the warmest kiss from the softest lips.
the finger tips tracing stars on my hips.
the sweetest song of my name he'd sing.
my angel boy with a severed wing.
i have mended the wing, he has risen from the fall.
now he is but only a memory i wish to never recall.
Oct 25, 2018
Oct 25, 2018 at 7:23 PM UTC