awknight - Hello Poetry

I reach for your aches your skin jumps away; in pride you find truth but insist I am your only lie. Eyes of brass search for harm, creating their narrative -- things to pass. But dear, Can you see the wounds along my already scarred flesh. We should be breaking bread, a communion of souls. Instead my welts bleed as your words land, unrealizing across something already so broken. Again, I bleed in painful silence.

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Nov 16, 2020

Nov 16, 2020 at 11:22 AM UTC

Bury your claws in my scars, please.

I reach for your aches your skin jumps away; in pride you find truth but insist I am your only lie. Eyes of brass search for harm, creating their narrative -- things to pass. But dear, Can you see the wounds along my already scarred flesh. We should be breaking bread, a communion of souls. Instead my welts bleed as your words land, unrealizing across something already so broken. Again, I bleed in painful silence.

18

The warmth of alone encapsulates my every inch, once again — I am washed over.  The little hands that graze my face, my soul, keep my heart beating my skin alive. alone in thought, but always seen by you — your gazing up at me. You do not know yet, nor will you ever… but your laugh pulls me from the cold water; but your eyes pull the water from my ever-seeking lungs.

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Nov 6, 2020

Nov 6, 2020 at 12:52 PM UTC

The Awakening

The warmth of alone encapsulates my every inch, once again — I am washed over.  The little hands that graze my face, my soul, keep my heart beating my skin alive. alone in thought, but always seen by you — your gazing up at me. You do not know yet, nor will you ever… but your laugh pulls me from the cold water; but your eyes pull the water from my ever-seeking lungs.

13

Your eyes, over breakfast, are where I find my morning prayer to an unknown God. Thanking, loving, and worshiping the divinity reigning down on my head as small toes wriggle within my body. My mind is overwhelmed with wound up time, ticking, endlessly without ceasing into the prism of your soft, searching soul. Hands inside, hand outside — we find our solace in you. A creator of the created, still both in womb. Stopping time is your specialty over breakfast, I see you — seeing me. answering my prayer.

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Sep 5, 2019

Sep 5, 2019 at 8:44 AM UTC

Three Hearts

Your eyes, over breakfast, are where I find my morning prayer to an unknown God. Thanking, loving, and worshiping the divinity reigning down on my head as small toes wriggle within my body. My mind is overwhelmed with wound up time, ticking, endlessly without ceasing into the prism of your soft, searching soul. Hands inside, hand outside — we find our solace in you. A creator of the created, still both in womb. Stopping time is your specialty over breakfast, I see you — seeing me. answering my prayer.

13

I dream of death by bullets entering the jaws of strangers exiting my own skull my own mortality is fragile in the hands of my instability As I shoot, like fireworks, across the blue sky and paint it red is that my finality?

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May 1, 2019

May 1, 2019 at 8:48 AM UTC

Assurance of the End

I dream of death by bullets entering the jaws of strangers exiting my own skull my own mortality is fragile in the hands of my instability As I shoot, like fireworks, across the blue sky and paint it red is that my finality?

8

Thrown against the wall fragility will not find home in my bones I have picked myself up from the hardwood more times than you could understand. the moon has traced my tears as they fell down the golden, cracked floral and lace, carefully absorbing them into its tides. a controlling force in itself — I became her. This time, I say hello to you in a different light. a light that is my own as my strength shoves through you in waves… a power that sweeps you off your feet.

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Apr 15, 2019

Apr 15, 2019 at 7:58 PM UTC

abandoned to the sky to become the moon

Thrown against the wall fragility will not find home in my bones I have picked myself up from the hardwood more times than you could understand. the moon has traced my tears as they fell down the golden, cracked floral and lace, carefully absorbing them into its tides. a controlling force in itself — I became her. This time, I say hello to you in a different light. a light that is my own as my strength shoves through you in waves… a power that sweeps you off your feet.

13

If I had the chance to go back I would not love you any less I would still grab your arms pull you close to me Capture your gaze and find the universe you’ve tucked so far inside feel where you jaw bone pokes out slightly working its way into your neck, to your shoulders, to your chest, I would still place my head there and listen to the heart that beats within I would still imagine the blood coursing through your veins also provided me life. Loving you less would be impossible. But, I would listen harder. I would listen to the sound of your voice dropping in conversation The way your face falls when I try to lift you up when you just weren’t ready the pressure I put on you would become light no more lead in your pockets at the hands of me I only want to take them away. become what you know you need in me.

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Apr 14, 2019

Apr 14, 2019 at 12:47 PM UTC

retrospect

If I had the chance to go back I would not love you any less I would still grab your arms pull you close to me Capture your gaze and find the universe you’ve tucked so far inside feel where you jaw bone pokes out slightly working its way into your neck, to your shoulders, to your chest, I would still place my head there and listen to the heart that beats within I would still imagine the blood coursing through your veins also provided me life. Loving you less would be impossible. But, I would listen harder. I would listen to the sound of your voice dropping in conversation The way your face falls when I try to lift you up when you just weren’t ready the pressure I put on you would become light no more lead in your pockets at the hands of me I only want to take them away. become what you know you need in me.

23

battling bits of depression when you can’t identify the cause is fighting a force field that you parallelingly approach infinity with. You see it, you dont see its end. You see yourself, you know youre not going to end. But you wish it would go away (which one?). Fake a smile and dont talk to anyone about it in fear of being vulnerable. Feel your way through zones of safe head nods and small talk until you can lie back on the couch and be wisped away by dreams that quickly turn to nightmares. shed a tear or two in the shower so your dog cannot lick them from your neck. hiding your vulnerabilities from even the most vulnerable. breathe in the cool breeze from outside …through a 3” opening… in hopes of a resurgent power, but only finding a gripping need to not. do. anything. I guess its better when you write about it, but now I can’t put it away… here it is — in the open. hello, nice to admit you.

0

Apr 4, 2019

Apr 4, 2019 at 8:41 PM UTC

admittance

battling bits of depression when you can’t identify the cause is fighting a force field that you parallelingly approach infinity with. You see it, you dont see its end. You see yourself, you know youre not going to end. But you wish it would go away (which one?). Fake a smile and dont talk to anyone about it in fear of being vulnerable. Feel your way through zones of safe head nods and small talk until you can lie back on the couch and be wisped away by dreams that quickly turn to nightmares. shed a tear or two in the shower so your dog cannot lick them from your neck. hiding your vulnerabilities from even the most vulnerable. breathe in the cool breeze from outside …through a 3” opening… in hopes of a resurgent power, but only finding a gripping need to not. do. anything. I guess its better when you write about it, but now I can’t put it away… here it is — in the open. hello, nice to admit you.

21

The dreams roll through my mind as it hovers over the edge of rest. A constant feeling of feeling everything at once. I cry as the clouds cover my eyes and I fall into a land where I am revealed. Dripping down my cheeks comes the blood of reopened scars slashed wide in fear of existence. I walk through tunnels into green fields of hope and sun and reflection. Fences unbury themselves; capturing my thoughts again. As they ascend the small child grabs my hand and vomits on my face. I wake up.

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Mar 29, 2019

Mar 29, 2019 at 9:20 AM UTC

The Subconscious

The dreams roll through my mind as it hovers over the edge of rest. A constant feeling of feeling everything at once. I cry as the clouds cover my eyes and I fall into a land where I am revealed. Dripping down my cheeks comes the blood of reopened scars slashed wide in fear of existence. I walk through tunnels into green fields of hope and sun and reflection. Fences unbury themselves; capturing my thoughts again. As they ascend the small child grabs my hand and vomits on my face. I wake up.

17

Its fight or flight when it comes down to the end of things flight is comfortable we walk away with less — external — bruises fight is harrowing its a double edged sword, my dear bruises and scrapes show on our flesh but — internally — thrive what to do with yield signs thrown in my greener grass is this the other side? paradise turns, choked choked to undergrowth and vermin a misunderstanding of what a truth is perception versus reality

0

Mar 4, 2019

Mar 4, 2019 at 10:27 PM UTC

internal / external

Its fight or flight when it comes down to the end of things flight is comfortable we walk away with less — external — bruises fight is harrowing its a double edged sword, my dear bruises and scrapes show on our flesh but — internally — thrive what to do with yield signs thrown in my greener grass is this the other side? paradise turns, choked choked to undergrowth and vermin a misunderstanding of what a truth is perception versus reality

21

All the things I am scared to say pile in my brain; begging to flood over they don’t know their own names, but crave to be heard. your voice. its vibrato, true velvet floating across every atom of my being a truth spoken that only comes from your lips a masterpiece no mere humans could create my darling, do you sift through the clouds scanning my eyes as I worship the light you bring? do you hear me call your name as my dreams project themselves toward where you are. your eyes. their stare, a protective state I have never known; dancing across my every move. laughter finds itself within the outlying colors of your world. Don’t you see… don’t you see, our eyes match intensities to create another creation. a world colliding but not in a collision. A big bang, but in serenity. a secret kept; only for us. please, don’t allow me to write about the hands that write me everyday. defining a path in the dark a leader, led by truth and goodness sought by many; found by me. I fall into an eternity, wrapped into you — you rise and fall; I reciprocate. We are patterns; carefully placed alongside juxtaposing backgrounds, only to become one. I surrender, fully. I understand now. For you my heart would fall from my chest, fulfilled it leaps. I will not chase it, it has found its freedom. Freedom in the throwing up of hands. A white flag positioned

0

Feb 28, 2019

Feb 28, 2019 at 11:45 AM UTC

Another Love Poem, but Not Just

All the things I am scared to say pile in my brain; begging to flood over they don’t know their own names, but crave to be heard. your voice. its vibrato, true velvet floating across every atom of my being a truth spoken that only comes from your lips a masterpiece no mere humans could create my darling, do you sift through the clouds scanning my eyes as I worship the light you bring? do you hear me call your name as my dreams project themselves toward where you are. your eyes. their stare, a protective state I have never known; dancing across my every move. laughter finds itself within the outlying colors of your world. Don’t you see… don’t you see, our eyes match intensities to create another creation. a world colliding but not in a collision. A big bang, but in serenity. a secret kept; only for us. please, don’t allow me to write about the hands that write me everyday. defining a path in the dark a leader, led by truth and goodness sought by many; found by me. I fall into an eternity, wrapped into you — you rise and fall; I reciprocate. We are patterns; carefully placed alongside juxtaposing backgrounds, only to become one. I surrender, fully. I understand now. For you my heart would fall from my chest, fulfilled it leaps. I will not chase it, it has found its freedom. Freedom in the throwing up of hands. A white flag positioned

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