What did I do wrong
A year later and I don't know
I took time and I moved on
Why was now the time that you chose
To confront me with words like a knife
Cutting deep, sinking through my whole life
When I thought I was done, I was fine
I'm proved wrong, but I know you aren't trying
Apr 3, 2020
Apr 3, 2020 at 11:25 PM UTC
I don't feel anything for you anymore
That parts over, I've been done for some time
I'm happy, I don't need you, so why does it matter
If you reach out or stay silent
I shouldn't care, it shouldn't hurt
You put up walls and left me here
I shouldn't care, it's absurd
But it's cold and lonely on the other side here
It's been a year, I've moved on to a new life
I made new friends, memories, and habits
Apr 3, 2020
Apr 3, 2020 at 11:19 PM UTC
Before you I never had these thoughts
That I wasn't good enough or somehow flawed.
I never wondered, I had all the answers,
I knew every piece would help make the puzzle.
But now there's six long months unaccounted for,
Leaving so many questions you wouldn't answer.
What went wrong? Where was I? ...and why?
Apr 3, 2020
Apr 3, 2020 at 11:10 PM UTC
the moment when everything changes
looking back, you wonder how you were so unsuspecting
how everything could seem so perfect
no red flags were raised, no chance for you to surrender
before the mess and the carnage
suddenly alone, you blame yourself
making lists of what you could have done
how you could have changed the outcome
your mind never at rest
racing thoughts
a pounding heart
constant pain
Feb 20, 2019
Feb 20, 2019 at 12:32 AM UTC
Desperately kicking
Trying to stay afloat
It went from calm, still waters
To thundering white caps
Within a matter of seconds
The pain was dull, serene
Hiding behind ripples and bubbles
But now it’s pounding
Tearing apart flesh and bones
What I wouldn’t give to go back
To the easy, gentle flow
Rocking slowly with a smile
Please just take me back
Feb 13, 2019
Feb 13, 2019 at 5:54 PM UTC
cut and paste
tear and mend
dye and die again
try to fix it
do your best
or else you'll never rest
Dec 6, 2017
Dec 6, 2017 at 1:38 PM UTC
He smiles at me,
eyes full of love and care.
"It will be worth it,
I promise."
*This record is stuck,
the needle struggling to go forward.
But it can't, it keeps jumping
and repeating itself over and over.*
He looks at me,
cold breath hanging in the air.
"Just put your bag down,
come here."
Dec 6, 2017
Dec 6, 2017 at 1:34 PM UTC
Red leaves on every tree
Falling to rest on the ground
Candles in every room
Smelling of apple and spice
Orange pumpkins with scary faces
Smiling as the people pass by
The light of the moon like a small star
Thousands of miles away
Yellow sun shining on heads
Warming the frozen fingers
Both birds and children call
To mothers and fathers, to friends and family
Brown hair in its own battle
Wrapped up un a striped scarf
Hot chocolate with cinnamon and steam
Drunk from a ceramic mug
All these things come together
These are the colors of Autumn
Oct 29, 2017
Oct 29, 2017 at 11:57 AM UTC
Little freckles dotting the bridge of his nose,
dancing across his face, on his forehead and chin,
like angel kisses on the soft, soft skin.
His dark brown hair, swept from ear to ear,
golden tips creating color amidst darkness,
giving a warm glow to his head.
All the colors trapped in his eyes,
wonderful blues, greens, grays, and browns,
leaving a lasting impression of simple beauty.
The lightest touch of his fingertips on my skin,
caressing my neck and jaw,
brushing against my lips with love and care.
Jun 5, 2017
Jun 5, 2017 at 4:07 PM UTC
Strange sensations
Grins and smiles
The smell of the night
Doing what felt right
The best of times
Familiar sensations
Grins and faces of lust
The smell of liquor and perfume
Doing what felt best
The most pleasurable of times
Painful sensations
Grimaces and faces of hate
The smell of metal and blood
Doing what distracted most
The worst of times
Nothing...
Blank faces
Nothing to smell
Nothing to feel
Nothing to remember
Everything suppressed
Jun 4, 2017
Jun 4, 2017 at 12:42 PM UTC