ashleylingy - Hello Poetry

The nurse got me in one stick A bed is ready for me upstairs, just as my angry ER neighbor reaches higher octave The blankets are heated Most of the staff is kind Trying their best I’m losing blood Not enough for transfusion More often I find myself floating above the stiff hospital bed on a cloud of Dilaudid I shuffle to the window in the morning Stare longingly into the cemetery below A well kept patch of grass A smattering of carved stone No needles No wires No tubes No beeps No yelling Peace

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Feb 13, 2024

Feb 13, 2024 at 1:04 PM UTC

On the bright side

The nurse got me in one stick A bed is ready for me upstairs, just as my angry ER neighbor reaches higher octave The blankets are heated Most of the staff is kind Trying their best I’m losing blood Not enough for transfusion More often I find myself floating above the stiff hospital bed on a cloud of Dilaudid I shuffle to the window in the morning Stare longingly into the cemetery below A well kept patch of grass A smattering of carved stone No needles No wires No tubes No beeps No yelling Peace

19

I’m not bursting at the seams, I’ve begun to ooze out between the seams. I want to cry out, "I’m melting!" but I’m so tired.

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Apr 8, 2020

Apr 8, 2020 at 2:52 PM UTC

I'm melting

I’m not bursting at the seams, I’ve begun to ooze out between the seams. I want to cry out, "I’m melting!" but I’m so tired.

4

Her sunken eyes stare down the storm This is her chance and she’s ready Wind squeals; black clouds swarm as she closes her eyes and holds her arms steady. Her smile is soft as her small fingertips kiss each droplet. “Goodbye...goodbye...goodbye.”

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Apr 7, 2020

Apr 7, 2020 at 3:25 PM UTC

Droplet

Her sunken eyes stare down the storm This is her chance and she’s ready Wind squeals; black clouds swarm as she closes her eyes and holds her arms steady. Her smile is soft as her small fingertips kiss each droplet. “Goodbye...goodbye...goodbye.”

6

She used to sit in the park with me. We will sit on a bench and we will each hold a tea. She never fails to smile with her eyes; I swear each time I see it, that's the moment it dies.

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Apr 2, 2020

Apr 2, 2020 at 4:55 PM UTC

for the girl who always smiled with her eyes

She used to sit in the park with me. We will sit on a bench and we will each hold a tea. She never fails to smile with her eyes; I swear each time I see it, that's the moment it dies.

4

I peel sweet potatoes. My phone pings. I check it. Messages of pride flood my eyes. I feel loved. I put it down. I peel the sweet potatoes. My dogs sniff my legs. I am distracted, searching and anxious. I feel loved. I peel a previously peeled potato. I stop. I lecture myself. "I focused and worked hard. That’s all I did." I focus on my potatoes. The work gets done. I feel proud. I feel loved.

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Feb 26, 2020

Feb 26, 2020 at 5:02 PM UTC

Pride and Potatoes

I peel sweet potatoes. My phone pings. I check it. Messages of pride flood my eyes. I feel loved. I put it down. I peel the sweet potatoes. My dogs sniff my legs. I am distracted, searching and anxious. I feel loved. I peel a previously peeled potato. I stop. I lecture myself. "I focused and worked hard. That’s all I did." I focus on my potatoes. The work gets done. I feel proud. I feel loved.

19

i got out of his car and hopped on my bike dashing through the neighborhoods streaking down a bike path faster FASTER squinting in the face of an angry early morning sun i stop stumble off my bike try to be discreet ***** into a bush pick up my bike wave to a jogger force a smile i head home

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Feb 14, 2019

Feb 14, 2019 at 3:00 PM UTC

after a long night

i got out of his car and hopped on my bike dashing through the neighborhoods streaking down a bike path faster FASTER squinting in the face of an angry early morning sun i stop stumble off my bike try to be discreet ***** into a bush pick up my bike wave to a jogger force a smile i head home

17

Sometimes I wonder if the dollar that paid for my soda was ever in a strippers underwear. And then...I wonder if the cashier is ever thinking the same thing.

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Nov 18, 2018

Nov 18, 2018 at 10:57 PM UTC

Stripper Soda

Sometimes I wonder if the dollar that paid for my soda was ever in a strippers underwear. And then...I wonder if the cashier is ever thinking the same thing.

5

I don't know who I am exactly... and I think I'm ok with that. Because I get to choose who I'm going to be every day when I wake up in the morning. As far as tomorrow goes, I hope the sun shines through my window... I need a warm reminder that brighter days lie ahead. I need help to rise with a pep in my step, hopefully with productivity and a plan in mind. Because this year... I will brave the treacherous aisles of the grocery store in the days before thanksgiving. And I will be nothing if not gloriously triumphant in my quest. I hope. I pray.

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Nov 18, 2018

Nov 18, 2018 at 10:49 PM UTC

A Plea For Strength In A Moment Of Adversity

I don't know who I am exactly... and I think I'm ok with that. Because I get to choose who I'm going to be every day when I wake up in the morning. As far as tomorrow goes, I hope the sun shines through my window... I need a warm reminder that brighter days lie ahead. I need help to rise with a pep in my step, hopefully with productivity and a plan in mind. Because this year... I will brave the treacherous aisles of the grocery store in the days before thanksgiving. And I will be nothing if not gloriously triumphant in my quest. I hope. I pray.

14

I hold my love for you like the frail egg of a blue jay, and I beg my shaking fingers to hang on. There is a thumping beat within threatening to break free from thin shell. I gently cup this in my palm and I dream of the day it can beat alongside your thundering heart, a thought to soothe my worries and feed a steady slow pulse.

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Nov 18, 2018

Nov 18, 2018 at 3:17 PM UTC

Beating

I hold my love for you like the frail egg of a blue jay, and I beg my shaking fingers to hang on. There is a thumping beat within threatening to break free from thin shell. I gently cup this in my palm and I dream of the day it can beat alongside your thundering heart, a thought to soothe my worries and feed a steady slow pulse.

18

I pretend I don't know why I take you. But really, I like to chronicle my days, my moods, my looks. Did I put makeup on that day? Was I tired? Was I happy? Smiling? Forcing a smile? Using a filter? The truth is written all over my face, if you know where to look.

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Nov 18, 2018

Nov 18, 2018 at 11:39 AM UTC

Selfie

I pretend I don't know why I take you. But really, I like to chronicle my days, my moods, my looks. Did I put makeup on that day? Was I tired? Was I happy? Smiling? Forcing a smile? Using a filter? The truth is written all over my face, if you know where to look.

10