She’ll lick the ashes
Break the bones
Girls like her
Don’t follow you home
Fire in pockets
Stars in hair
Chaos and storms
You’ll find her there
Beneath the trees
Under the moon
She’ll dance, swaying
To a forbidden tune
Her heart was heavy
Full of ache
Weight of the world
Enough to break
& all those bruises
Where tears would stain
She was half the joy
And half the pain
All the things blended
Becoming one
She’s burning bright
Like the sun
Not knowing
Who she should be
But the chains will rattle
When the prisoner is free
Jul 5, 2017
Jul 5, 2017 at 10:57 PM UTC
Around 8 there was much confusion
testing and needles and transfusions
the chemo made him so sick
hard to breathe, the air is thick
he lost all his hair when he turned nine
his parents wishing they could turn back time
to when he was healthy, when he was whole
but there is much that we can't control
so they'd say prayers by his hospital bed
kiss his face and stroke his head
sing him songs and read him books
they didn't bother to notice the looks
people felt pity beneath whispering voices
gave advice and questioned their choices
when he turned 10 he was ready to go
their little boy who would never grow
he'd never become a man, never know life
robbed of a future family, children and a wife
he wouldn't get his license or reach graduation
never feel the sun from summer vacations
so they took him out of the hospital at his request
and he said that was the part that he liked best
because he knew it was time to go home
but they should never feel alone
because he saw angels, everywhere
so not to feel lonely because he'd be there
a whisper in the wind, stars that shine at night
they had to let him go, he was too tired to fight
it wasn't about giving up, or giving in
it was the promise of seeing them again
in a place where flowers always bloom
and little boys can catch the moon
they'll see him, they'll know he's free
no more pain and misery
so in silence they will weep
for their little boy who went to sleep
and woke up in a better place
healthy, whole, his smiling face
May 21, 2015
May 21, 2015 at 7:40 PM UTC
For My Children
I will never be perfect
and sometimes I won't be fair
but you will always know
just how much I care
I carried you within me
heart, body and soul
I never knew this love
until you made me whole
it will be my job
to always protect
to guide you, teach you
about honesty and respect
to love you without condition
for all of time
I am so proud
that I can call you mine
you are my babies
my sweetest days
and I will be there
forever and always
so no matter what you do
no matter where you go
you will find the strength
and the hope to always grow
I loved you before I knew
just how beautiful you'd be
you're the greatest blessings
ever given to me
May 21, 2015
May 21, 2015 at 7:22 PM UTC
All that was lost
I finally found
your name makes
the sweetest sound
when it leaves my lips
it feels like a song
at last I finally
feel like I belong
to someone
that was once a dream
you're my sun, moon
and everything in between
it feels complete
when i'm holding your hand
come dance with me
in a strange land
where the stars
are falling among the grass
and the seas are made
of gold & glass
my life reflected
in deep brown eyes
come away with me
under glittering skies
May 21, 2015
May 21, 2015 at 7:13 PM UTC
For years she lived
in a quiet hell
that nobody knew
she lost herself
withdrew because
she was made to feel
that she was nothing
there were affairs
and lies and empty promises
often times she'd cry
herself to sleep
because she only wanted
to be free
of all the darkness
and the emptiness
so she stayed for too long
until there was little left
but a shell of who
she once was
it progressively
got worse
each and every day
until she knew
this life wasn't meant for her
and that she was so much more
than what she had accepted
the deceit, the hurt
the feeling of entrapment
and abuse, over and over
she carried such a heavy shame
underneath a pretty smile
until the weight of it all
felt like it would crush her
until one day
one fateful day
it was enough
it was finally enough
and the fireman came
but they never saw her
holding the matches....
May 21, 2015
May 21, 2015 at 7:05 PM UTC
she wasn't beautiful
and so long ago
gave up trying
but she was real
and she was kind
and she wanted
the world to be better
she saw it
for it's real face
like a sickness
& we were all infected
but it was like
too many people
were putting bandaids
over the infection
instead of trying to change
what was really wounded
because it was easier
to just smile
& pretend
that it was all okay
and people could be cruel
and ugly and sad
if we didn't mention it
but that wasn't life
not the life she wanted
she wanted them to see
that broken things
cracked things
can be so beautiful
because that's how
the light gets in
and even when
she wasn't beautiful
and never would be
she wanted to make
the world beautiful
May 17, 2015
May 17, 2015 at 4:30 PM UTC
Bring us your dead
your empty caskets
and wilted flowers
bring us your lost hope
and forgotten dreams
because these nightmares
never rest
bring us your despair
your beautiful
little disasters
and we'll close them
all up
in little boxes
bury them
at the foot
of long lost mountains
bring us your sins
and your secrets
and we'll burn them up
and you can be reborn
because all those dead
things are taking up room
and crushing your insides
May 17, 2015
May 17, 2015 at 4:29 PM UTC
Sometimes I just wanna feel
all that's right and all that's real
because I don't wanna be numb
I wonder if i'm the only one
with chaos raging in my head
I think of all the times I bled
for others, and their empty hearts
that I don't know just where it starts
the separation from others
sisters and brothers
because I feel like a vessel, a force
when i'm just trying to stay on course
they bleed into me, shed their tears
confess their sins, confess their fears
come to me when they're broken, as if I can heal
when I just wanna be alive (and feel, feel, feel)
something that's mine, don't take that away
always searching for that better day
I feel it building, in my eyes a storm will rage
my insides feeling empty, my heart in a cage
building up walls
just to watch them fall
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 12:36 AM UTC
some nights i can't sleep
because the silence is so loud
and i find my mind wandering
& i won't attempt to lie
when i tell you i'm scared
of where i've been
and the confusion
of not knowing where i'm going
i try so hard to keep the faith
to plaster that smile on my face
but sometimes i cry myself to sleep
because the world seems so big
and i'm not sure which way to turn
because i've never been so good
with directions and choices
some nights i can't sleep
because i'm so exhausted
that i feel tired deep into my bones
and i just wanna rest
but i'm always on the fight or flight mode
running, running, running
from everyone and everything
because sometimes i don't want
people to know me
because people leave
& you're left with memories
that burn and ache
sometimes i can't sleep
because this is when the questions
keep bouncing around in my head
and i don't know how to silence it anymore
but sometimes i just wish
that i could sleep
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 12:35 AM UTC
he liked to play cards
with the old men
at the hospital
where his mama worked
because they'd tell him jokes
that he didn't quite understand
he could laugh and no one
would make fun of him
and sometimes they'd give him
their desserts
sometimes the old man
named George would cry a little
when he looked at him
and that would make him sad
but he said he reminded him
of a boy he used to know
and that he hoped he stayed
just the way he was
the kids at school
called him slow (stupid, ********
and played tricks on him
sometimes he would cry
but sometimes he would
feel those fists flying
because they hurt him first
and then his mama would cry
because they'd send notes home
and she would say "i have my hands full.
why can't you just try harder?"
so he'd try harder and he'd keep
things to himself
and he wouldn't tell
what it was like when one of his teachers
took him into a closet after school
and made him do terrible things
and he wouldn't tell when
mama got a new boyfriend
and he'd hit him every time
that mama was gone
and he wouldn't tell
how much it hurt
that he knew he was different
but he couldn't change
and he wouldn't tell
when he went into the bathroom
to swallow some pills
because sometimes it's so hard
not to tell
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 12:34 AM UTC