When someone who sexually assaulted you pops up on the people you may know
First you cringe and remember the incident
Then you look at your mutual friends
Angry that your uncle is his friend
Hoping they aren't too close
You see pictures of him with girls
Hoping he treated them better than you
You see where he works
You wonder if he jokes about women to his work buddies
And you notice
That he seems just as normal as any other guy
And that's why women are so afraid
Because they blend in
Like ******* chameleons
Jan 16, 2019
Jan 16, 2019 at 9:22 PM UTC
I dated a wrestler,
Mom liked him,because he was white and had red hair like me
He bought me things, even though I didn’t ask
He carried my books to class, and opened the doors
He held my hand and sometimes grabbed my ***
But I didn’t mind because I’ve been taught
Through society that when things are bought
****** payments are what females give with no afterthought
So with much gratitude
I sent him a ****
And he send it to the whole school
Starting with the wrestling team,
But some of them were football players so they sent it to their team
So on and so forth until the extreme
Sexualassults were happening constantly
Hallways turned into a runway of grabs and brushes against my ***
Some even slipped a dollar into my pocket as payment for the peak
When a **** of lingerie for a nice guy turned into a beacon that I’m a *****
People starting victim blaming me, ‘you shouldn’t have done that’
And the principle doesn’t care
He overheard from a group of boys
He got the picture and had it printed sitting on his desk,
“This is child *********** if I see you sending this again you’ll be in trouble”
I realized no one was going to defend me and so the strong women I am known to be
Hid, when I needed her strength the most
Once confident head held high, I try to blend in with the crowd
I changed the way I dressed into sweatshirts and baggy pants
But they continue because it’s not the way I dress, but that I’ve become inferior
And the open palms that graze me burn with masculinity
Until that 2 week period ended I thought I was going to burst
But instead I became numb
Because no one cared it was happening
Jan 16, 2019
Jan 16, 2019 at 9:20 PM UTC
Mom is an alcoholic
She'll embarrass you
But that's okay because you have a Dad
He'll be on your side and defend you
You might not understand why I left home early or moved away
But that's okay
I left because your dad was never a dad to me and our Mom kicked me out whenever we argued because she was wasted
You might not understand why we never got along
But that's okay
You just never saw that I was always left out and treated unfairly
That I suffered every day living in a home that didn't want me
And watched you have everything you ever wanted
I hope one day you understand.
Jan 16, 2019
Jan 16, 2019 at 9:17 PM UTC
My love for you is immeasurable
Yet I know you love me the same
Just children with barely a taste of life
But my taste of you is by far the best
How quickly we grew together
I feel as though we have reconnected
If that's even possible
Because the first day of meeting you
There was already some form of familiarity
As if old souls joined once again.
~Emma Rose
Dec 18, 2018
Dec 18, 2018 at 2:46 AM UTC
You came into my life when I was 4
You've never said I love you
Nor hugged me
You never took me out for a step dad date
But people told me I should consider you my dad
You had a kid with my mom when I was 9.
You love her and take her out for dad dates
You always talk about how proud of her you are
Everything she does is amazing
I was left behind and now the babysitter
That's all I ever was to you
So **** you
When you announced her birth your family talked of the first grandchild
What was I then?
They never accepted me and neither did you
They want you to walk me down the aisle
A man who came into my life with 0 significance
Yeah **** you
Dec 18, 2018
Dec 18, 2018 at 2:38 AM UTC
I looked in the mirror and saw some stretch marks on my stomach
At first I was upset
How did I let myself gain so much weight
I need to start running again
I need to eat better
These thoughts swirled in my head and I froze
Staring at my stomach with stretch marks
Turning back and forth to get a better look
Later while it still was nagging at the back of mind
I started to think of everything I’ve been through in my 19 years of life
How strong I’ve become
I use to keep a thin figure by working out and eating barely anything
How much I tried to stay popular and have “that look” all girls wanted in High School
Now look at me being strong and eating whatever I want
I truly am proud of myself and my figure
And my stretch marks on my tummy is only proof of how much I’ve come along.
They are my stretch marks of strength
~Emma Rose
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 2:56 PM UTC
I look at my canvas
Painted a perfect porcelain
Highlighted, contoured
The eye lashes are volumized
The eye lids are a perfect shimmer
It doesn't even look like me anymore
And that's how I know
It's perfect.
After a long day of confidence
It's time to clear the canvas
I stare at the acne
The red cheeks
The unnecessary freckles
The skin I was born with
The skin I hide
My canvas is plain
~Emma Rose
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 2:53 PM UTC
Depression is a pendulum
Happy, Sad, Happy, Sad
Never too happy nor too sad
Almost stuck in suspension of the emotions
When I want utter bliss I have plain yellow
When I want utter pain I have plain blue
You see depression has taken these emotions
They’re now small and weak
When I want to feel the overwhelming joy or sadness
It tells me no you only get a little of both
Depression is numbness building up asking
What is it to feel
Because I can only feel little or none
And when that pendulum swings
Happy, Sad, Happy, Sad
I can't control it
~Emma Rose
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 2:51 PM UTC
Mr you've got quite the hold on me
With those big brown eyes
I believe -dare I say
I've fallen hard and fast for you
Big brown eyes
But Mr you were there to catch me
You gave me a kiss on the head
You even asked if I was okay.
Kind brown eyes
You're not above me
I'm not above you
Because we put each others needs before our own
Dare I say Mr brown eyes
Loving brown eyes
That you are a dream come true.
Nothing will ever compare to you.
Mr I believe that in time you'll keep me happy
Maybe even make me a happy grey lady
But surely if not-
You will hurt.
A world without us,
Painful brown eyes
Is a world I do not wish to see.
~Emma Rose
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 2:51 PM UTC
And if I'm being honest
I think I'm getting bad again
I've been zoning out a lot
It's getting harder to look in the mirror
I pull at my skin and frown
It's harder to get up in the morning
I've been counting how long it's been
If it's more than 2 months it's bad again.
Depression.
I don't deserve it right now
I have everything I want
Everything I need
Why am I getting bad again...
~Emma Rose
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 2:50 PM UTC