This ones for you,
and everything you do.
Everything you've done to me,
i must remind you.
Now that it's over and it will never be again,
when you read this youll finally know the chaos in my head.
You want to say I'm not **** that you deserve better,
but that's just an understatement
cause whos better than better?
I taught you everything you know & made you everything you are today. Where's my thank you ?
Yet here you are throwing dirt on my name is that to save you,
from the truth behind it all ?
to make you look like you did nothing wrong ?
Let me remind you how much you'd say that I should let the past go,
but it was hard to let it go bc you ****** her in the same bed you ****** me in, a time ago.
& called me up as the rebound, because she no longer wanted you
& you knew I didn't have any knowlege about it, had no clue. Remember when you went behind my back,
and had drinks with girls you knew I wouldn't consider friendly
& you didn't have the courage or the guts to even tell me?
Let's not forget about the fights,
how you'd let yourself get too encountered with my friends & act like that **** wasn't in my sight.
Then we'd argue for hours because id tell you & ask if youd be okay with it,
if i did to you the same **** like this?
Dont forget the times we'd get physically agressive, & not in the best way,
leaving me bruises on my skin,
& on your arms my fingers left you scratches,
to remind us what pain is.
So before you get to talking,
about what kind of pain i brought you,
don't you forget about the ****
you yourself caused,
I wasn't the only one,
It wasnt just my fault,
& I hope that when you read this,
If you read this, you applaud.
Jul 27, 2017
Jul 27, 2017 at 4:56 PM UTC
the only time I find myself writing
is when
I'm drinking,
thinking about you,
falling into sadness,
thinking about you,
at my happiest wishing I was near you.
May 7, 2017
May 7, 2017 at 7:48 PM UTC
So this is what heartache feels like?
Like that time you were eight & you lost your favorite toy,
or the time your best friend moved 1200 miles away from you to leave it all behind.
No not at all.
The only similarity is the feeling after you lose it all.
Heartache is much more
deeper,
unsettling,
and dark.
It feels like youre the only one in a black hole full of hopelessness
and it's caving in on you.
everythings caving in on you at once.
& your mouth is wide open
trying mercifully to scream something
anything at all but nothing is coming out.
Your fingers ****** from the scratching on your skin
trying to write the words "Save Me",
like your insides are being ripped out through your mouth.
& all they do is stare.
& watch,
for your insides match your out.
May 1, 2017
May 1, 2017 at 8:52 PM UTC
He never once didn't tell me I was his pretty little thing,
let alone show me,
especially when we found ourselves in the bedroom.
Pinned against the wall,
I was tense,
gazing into his eyes.
His hand gripped firmly around my throat,
for he knew I was fond of getting rough.
And he liked it.
How he liked the way my eyes lit up,
the way I bit my lip,
when he knew he was in control of me.
My body belonged to him.
Every part of me had his name drawn on it,
marked on it.
His mouth caressed my neck,
I could feel him taking deep breaths,
his hand slowly revealing what was underneath my dress.
I wrapped my arms around him,
and kissed him like it was my last.
He gripped my waist and lifted me off the ground and twirled me in a circle,
throwing me onto the bed.
He slowly spread my thighs apart,
revealing my own heaven,
for I was an angel,
his angel indeed.
Dec 14, 2016
Dec 14, 2016 at 8:42 PM UTC
You want to know what it feels like to be
broken,
broken isn't even the word to describe it,
shattered,
shattered heart,
shattered feelings,
shattered me.
3 AM drunk in the bathroom,
mascara running down my face,
thoughts of all the ways I could **** myself in this very moment.
But I'm already dead.
You have already killed me,
with the way you said you don't love me anymore.
You don't love me you say?
What about the time I brought you sunflowers just because I loved the way your eyes lit up once you caressed them in your arms,
or the time I blindfolded you,
and brought you the ocean,
and made you smell the fresh breeze of the sea because I told you the scent reminded me of you.
Was that not enough?
I gave you the world,
and what I got in return was the pain that struck me when you told me you didn't love me.
Oct 2, 2016
Oct 2, 2016 at 1:48 AM UTC
I remembered him clearly,
the waves of his hair,
when it blew in the wind,
told a story.
His lips,
god his lips,
sanely soft when I caressed mine over his.
He was the kind of man that every woman
searched for,
the kind you think is within an arms reach,
but when you reach out to grasp,
slips between the cracks of your fingers.
And like a trophy,
he was something to look at,
but not something to touch.
He left marks on souls.
the kind where you longed for more of him,
the kind you feel empty without.
And when it's over,
you're left alone,
with the unsettling memory of him.
Sep 1, 2016
Sep 1, 2016 at 7:48 PM UTC
I believed you were the one,
till the day I remember
you told me I no longer suited you.
That I was no longer your rose,
no longer your girl.
I woke up to you that morning,
threw my arm on your side of the bed
to search for you,
and you kissed it.
You told me to wear that red sundress you liked,
that was your favorite.
You couldn't keep your hands off me that day.
You said you wanted to take me on an
adventure,
where the wild things are,
and you said I was your wild thing.
We laughed, and we danced, and we ****** all night.
And I wish I could live every second of it again.
except the end.
You told me this was no fairy tale,
and that I needed to wake up.
That I no longer suited you,
that you weren't in love.
Mar 16, 2016
Mar 16, 2016 at 7:30 AM UTC
I didn't have to make it official to know who you belonged to.
Where you longed to.
Every morning, you'd roll over and I'd notice how well the sun shined down on you, creating a glow on your skin,
as if you were an angel.
It wasn't till then I realized you were the one I've been longing for.
The one I've been praying for.
It's been you.
And if they ask who you are,
I tell them you're the one.
Feb 10, 2016
Feb 10, 2016 at 2:45 AM UTC
3 in the morning my mind is on you,
wandering wildly,
thoughts of fear
thoughts of worry
thoughts of the you.
Knowing that the sound of your voice grows flowers in my heart,
as mine doesn't do the same for you.
But yet you choose to ignore me,
push me to the side,
then when you're lonely,
say 'you're mine',
treat me like I'm not yours,
am i not yours?
Dec 8, 2015
Dec 8, 2015 at 9:16 AM UTC
I've been studying your body language,
the way your knees shake,
when I touch you.
the way your eyes fill with intensity,
when I look at you.
The way you bite your lip,
I can tell that you want me to kiss you,
very hard,
very long,
very fierce.
Oct 6, 2015
Oct 6, 2015 at 2:50 PM UTC