
Plants seeds inside my rib cage
Makes sure to water daily
Until I am more wood than person
Already weaving my own casket in my chest
Dec 23, 2020
Dec 23, 2020 at 5:28 AM UTC
I am a constant train wreck waiting to happen
Always on the verge of almost not being here
There is never enough space to breathe
Never enough room to move
This world is my casket and I am frighteningly claustrophobic
Nov 18, 2016
Nov 18, 2016 at 6:48 AM UTC
Your hands feel like forest fires
Erupting on my skin
Each graze
A new scar
I will take
To the shallow grave of my heart
Oct 8, 2016
Oct 8, 2016 at 10:22 AM UTC
These parts feel like a lie I am giving to this world,
but it doesn't throw me back a sneer,
it pretends it doesn't know.
I am carving my skin with questions,
but it bleeds back no answers,
only trophies in the shape of these scars.
I am clawing myself out,
but the pit feels like quicksand,
the more I want out the more it takes me in.
I am half a person, half a ghost
already burying myself
inside the casket of my own skin.
If these gods were real
they'd have made us of sturdier stuff
than hearts that break apart at the slightest whisper.
Oct 1, 2016
Oct 1, 2016 at 1:19 PM UTC
When I was fifteen years old I came home from school one day and wrote a poem instead of cutting myself.
The next day I didn't write a poem.
Eighteen only wrote poetry in red.
Nineteen crawled under their desk with the lights turned off.
Twenty had panic attacks.
But thirteen still loved the world.
And ten only cared about going out to play.
And nine never thought growing up to be a gender would hurt so much.
But twenty-one can't breathe in this skin anymore.
And twenty-one doesn't want a twenty-two anymore.
And nineteen tried to pretend these feelings weren't real.
And fifteen tried to eradicate all the feelings altogether.
And seventeen just cried a lot.
My years have come together to unfold me into a disaster.
I am broken even in my most whole parts.
I am empty even on my most alive days.
If you send out a SOS into my chest the sound will ring off into its empty chambers and only answer itself.
Sep 26, 2016
Sep 26, 2016 at 8:12 AM UTC
The weather's like summer and rain
And I'm just looking out the window
Seeing you in vain
I've only heard you speak
And some pictures all 2D
But I've traced the lilt of your laugh
And it's nothing like some graph
Been trying to keep you off my mind
But you're just there all the time
Sep 26, 2016
Sep 26, 2016 at 8:03 AM UTC
I can't seem to fall asleep most nights
Even when I've turned off all the lights
Twelve always turns to two
And I keep thinking about you
Sep 17, 2016
Sep 17, 2016 at 3:06 PM UTC
Everything is brighter
Too much light
Too many people
Crawl back in
Crawl back in
This is all too much
Take a deep breath
Smile too hard
Smile too little
This is all too much
This is all too much
Pretend to be someone else
This will work
Try to be happier
Try to be brighter
Pretend to be someone else
Pretend to be someone else
Will survive
Laugh a little
Go out into the world
Go out into the light
Will survive
Will survive
Will definitely survive
Sep 2, 2016
Sep 2, 2016 at 9:03 AM UTC
We are drowning ships
crashing planes
falling skies
We are tragedies that never got
written
in ink
but blood
We are disasters they forgot
to record
or observe
or announce
or save
or help
We are train wrecks that needed saving
Instead you covered your eyes
Shielded your children
Dumped the wreckage into landfills
That are eating away at our plant
Ours
This world, it is ours
Yours and mine
It is not a kingdom that is your
birthright to take
to force yourself on
your rules
your mistakes
your judgement
your hearts
We are people
Collapsible
Collapsing
At every turn
every word
every day
every breath
We are still people
still alive
still able
still fighting
breathing
belonging to a world that has never accepted us
made space for us
let us belong
But we are belonging
Jun 19, 2016
Jun 19, 2016 at 12:04 PM UTC
But pens hurt less than knives
And markers hurt less than pens
But our brokenness told us to hurt
And ache
And bleed
So we put down our pens
Capped our markers
Forgot how to draw worlds
And stories
And magic
In color
Instead painted with our blood
Telling ourselves
Maybe surviving was the real test
And maybe it is okay to fail
Apr 6, 2016
Apr 6, 2016 at 6:42 AM UTC