Born a baby girl,
they said with tears in their eyes
"She will be soft, and quiet, and beautiful."
They stared at her with undying love
knowing she would one day fit perfectly
in a mans trophy case.
So she grew and was tended to,
a rose ripe for the picking.
I say rose because roses are lovely.
Plain. Soft. Supple. Silent.
Her words had always been white crayon on blank paper,
mosquitoes swatted at summer picnics,
ear infections that invaded the canal but never quite reached the brain.
She was taught to dress all in white
and never speak up at the dinner table.
Opinions are for crazy people and so is any splash of colour.
She sat in her silence until her white dress started to blend into the walls.
Invisibility is a super power!
Just watch any action movie that wasn't made for little girls.
When lying in the dark it is tempting
to raise a hand to ones face.
See how no distinction can be made between a human body
and the air surrounding it?
Imagine doing this in the light of day.
There came a time where she could no longer handle the sight
of her own emptiness
and squeezed her eyes shut to discover galaxies
hiding beneath her eyelids.
She smiled and colours came surging through the cracks in her teeth.
Staining her white face
and her white dress
and her white walls.
Her Mother screamed and her Father cried.
No boy would ever love a girl they could see.
One with flowers blossoming beneath her feet
and suns exploding behind her eyes.
They mourned her that day.
Her silence was never supposed to grow volumes.
To them she died the day she came alive.
Jun 15, 2016
Jun 15, 2016 at 8:27 PM UTC
When Love comes knocking I imagine myself coming to the door late at night
With tired eyes and a weary mouth I'll mumble
"Where have you been all this time?"
Like a mother waiting for a child to come home at night, furious and tired but relieved all the same.
I imagine myself falling and falling hard,
Over and over until I'm not sure I can get back up again.
Love will be beautiful and Love will be bliss.
Love will feel like an endless sunny day and Love will feel like home.
Love will be all I've ever wanted
Until Love lies and Love cheats and Love stays out until 3 a.m. with bloodshot eyes and staggering feet.
When Love comes home with angry fists time and time again,
I will finally realize Love changes.
So I will kick Love out into the street and shout "I DON'T NEED YOU".
One day I may even believe it.
One day I will come back inside to see Love was standing in the mirror the whole time.
Aug 10, 2015
Aug 10, 2015 at 9:43 PM UTC
Holding his hand was like a prayer
and when we kissed I finally saw God
but no amount of getting on my knees could stop Hell from clutching it's burning hands to my throat and no volume of screaming could lead to my salvation.
I tell myself it must have been the devil telling him to love her
instead of me,
but that won't change the fact that you never were my Heaven.
Apr 27, 2015
Apr 27, 2015 at 11:34 PM UTC
Woke up telling myself I love you
but you had been up all night nailing my coffin shut
Nov 15, 2014
Nov 15, 2014 at 5:37 PM UTC
Please don't fall in love with me.
Don't wind your way into my ivory heart.
I will poison you like a drug,
Your mind will turn dark and your heart will freeze over
until your blue veins turn to ice.
Do not fall in love with me.
My head is home to too many voices as it is.
Please, stay away.
This sadness is a killer and there's no reason for both of us to die.
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 11:22 AM UTC
Mommy's downstairs
Talking about death
And it's beauty
But her eyes still tear up
Like she's afraid of the unknown.
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 11:14 AM UTC
This house made of brick and stone,
glass and wood,
now crumbles to the earth beneath me.
But this house was empty
long before it was gone.
The people inside,
the people
the people
the monsters,
They ripped open their lungs
and filled themselves with smoke.
They ripped open their veins
and filled themselves with poison.
They grew sickly and cold
with black, sunken eyes.
They starved themselves to the bone
until that was all they were.
Feet shuffled against dark-stained hardwood floors,
yet they never touched the ground.
Ghosts.
Ghosts who couldn't sleep,
for the darkness was no longer home.
Ghosts who couldn't breathe,
for all they inhaled was smoke.
Ghosts who screamed.
Ghosts who cried.
Ghosts who never made a sound.
Holding on until fingers grew limp.
This house was empty
long before it was gone.
Oct 18, 2014
Oct 18, 2014 at 11:08 PM UTC
You may not have been birthed in the soil,
and granted,
you will not blossom
when spring melts winters wake
but inside of you
grows a thousand gardens
full of exploding stars.
You are of the earth
and your ashes
have been constructed with stardust,
and set free with the wind.
So you may not have a pretty face,
and your body may hold stories
of too many moonless nights alone.
But if you reach inside,
you will find a forest
for a ribcage
and a restless ocean heart.
So don't ever let anyone tell you
you are nothing.
You are a galaxy
holding a million different planets,
and my dear,
that is not nothing.
Oct 14, 2014
Oct 14, 2014 at 8:33 PM UTC
I found you
in a book of pressed petals
& black widow receipts .
Then I was riding along the back path
"all the way to China"
and you were there,
hands grasping for each other
and cheers leaving joyful mouths.
When they found you,
your body was cold and limp
on a cement driveway.
Lips blue and cracked
and feet without shoes to warm them.
We were gone,
and our sun was shining,
but yours,
yours had gone out.
I don't remember if I cried
when two weeks later
I discovered your heart had stopped.
But I cried now,
even though it's too late
and 5 years have passed
since you did.
I cried now
and I no longer ride along the back path
"all the way to China."
Oct 14, 2014
Oct 14, 2014 at 8:25 PM UTC