Sitting in the chair
Being pampered to the nines
Hair curled, makeup applied
Nails polished
Transformation complete
Next comes the dress
a forrest green off the shoulder dress
covered in sparkles, form hugging
Golden shoes on my feet,
Jewelry adorning my body,
Golden Glitter on my eyelids,
Ruby red lips
my date, my handsome boyfriend,
obsidian hair braided, charcoal grey suit,
chatting with friends, dancing the night away,
It was truly a magical night
Apr 28
Apr 28, 2026 at 10:45 AM UTC
Falling into the trenches, fighting for my life, fast paced breathing coming from my chest, Words engulf me like the boogeyman, Infiltrating my thoughts and dreams torturing me with his sickly sweet speech
Oh how he controls me, I struggle in his grasp, trying to squeeze the last of my energy out fighting him, I cannot escape his grasp
My thoughts disappear; my breath slows down, Golden light shines down on my face like an angelic beacon,
Finally peace
In comes a knight of shining armor wearing white gold
Shielding me from the whirlwind in my brain
Turmoil thoughts fill my head day after day; heart-ripping despair enters my body,
Then gone
Day after day, the cycle repeats itself
Until
In comes a knight of shining armor wearing white gold
Shielding me from the whirl wind in my brain
Some days, Brash waves crash against my brain, words spiraling around my head
Habits start to form
Habits that look weird but calms the sea
Allowing me to be me
Up and down up and down
My mood goes
Obsession fills my days
Mania sets in like my best friend
Jumping at every chance, she gets
Focusing on things that shouldn't matter
Then slowly two hands creep up my back
Bringing the body chilling thoughts
Round and round I go on this frightening merry go round until
In comes a knight of shining armor wearing white gold
Shielding me from the whirlwind in my brain
Stopping the stomach-turning ride.
Apr 21
Apr 21, 2026 at 1:28 PM UTC
A little white pill
Just resting in my hand
One gulp and I'll feel better
I take that leap,
Tired of being tired, of the mood swings
The depression, the anxiety,
Th manic episodes.
The words roll of the doctor's tongue
Bipolar Disorder. Possibly type 2
Finally the missing piece
The obsessions, the depressive episodes, the ups and downs
Finally all have a name and a way to start to feel better
Finally I can be myself
Apr 20
Apr 20, 2026 at 9:50 AM UTC
Sitting in that venue something clicked
Sitting in this dark living room watching videos and silently crying to myself while my cat drinks water from his fountain it clicked
I am not ok something in my brain has shifted
These thoughts scream out
Wanting to be tangible
My nails wanting to leave marks on my back
I need help
But every time I’ve reached out
I’m been cast aside
My doctor
Canceled my appointment citing I need a psych
Which I already have
My psych never answers
I try to hold in my pain but I am afraid how much longer I can
I feel like a younger version of myself has emerged once again
Aug 16, 2025
Aug 16, 2025 at 9:34 PM UTC
A place where it doesn't matter who I am
What words I put on the paper
How I feel or what I mean
Whether it be hidden or clear
I don't have to rhyme
Follow a strict set of rules
A place where I can get all my feelings out
It is like a yellow flower in the middle of a field of cotton plants
Unique in its own way
The only one of its kind
I don't have to worry about anything being right
because no matter what I write it right to me
It is a freeing art
An art where my tears can form words
and the sorrow and grief I am feeling can paint a picture to the reader
It can produce warmth like a fire on a winter's day
The delicate lace that shrouds my heart
when I am feeling most down
lets me to freely write how I am feeling without
the thought of another
It is one art that no matter what
Practice can never make perfect
It is something that is different to everyone
No matter how much one can try
There is no box to conform to
Stumbling upon this art years ago
I look back and smile
Thanking past me
for walking into that meeting
Seeing the faces around that table and taking a timid step forward
That little, timid, shy step is what unlocked this great art
In my life and for that I am thankful
Oct 6, 2020
Oct 6, 2020 at 5:43 PM UTC
I am terrified of what my age has become
Calling the weridos Gay because they don't fit in
Calling their friends whes and Fkboys because of their genders
they say everything is Stigma free but look around
It sure isn't
I am terrified my Anxiety might show and I'll have to just brush it off
as those who look at me weird because of this illness
My Grade doesn't understand that words can hurt
They say oh words don't hurt the tone does
But A man can scream at a woman" You're a S**T!" or can say it Monotoned
Both sentences will hurt that woman the same
Those kids laughed when 13 reasons why came out
Not grasping that the show was specifically for them
That people feel this way and that it isn't some comedy act
They don't understand why my voice stutters whenever I speak
Or that my hand writing is bad because of my weak hands
To them all I am is a weird girl who cried during a project because of something I lived through
I am terrified of what my grade has become
That they have lost all common sense
They say no one is born equal but they won't even try to help
They just laugh at those who seem different
And it is stupid
They make fun and harass those who aren't like them
and the Administration turns a blind eye
Saying Oh boys will be boys or that they were only just having fun
Well you know what you can have fun and not make someone cry for your own pleasure
I'm terrified of what my Grade has become because soon they won't realize what they are doing is wrong
I stress that I won't ***** up that my grades are good that I make a good impression
My Grade says they have stress
But They don't know what real stress is until you are sick from the stress you have
They don't know what real stress is until you can't think back to a time that you ever relaxed
They don't know what real stress is until you have realized you haven't eaten all day because you were too busy worrying about that grade you got on the insignificant quiz
I am Terrified about my grade because soon we will be adults and they will not be able to know right from wrong
Sep 21, 2020
Sep 21, 2020 at 5:30 PM UTC
Sitting here alone
in my dorm room
listening to music
as those around me laugh and go on adventures
has made me realize
that it's ok to be alone
School comes first
yes that may be true
but so does my health
Here at school
I sit in my room
sealed up
brick by brick
constantly doing school work
I can go out
Sometimes I miss my house
I miss the hugs
I miss the cuddles
I miss the warmth of my home
Sure school can never replace a home
But for some reason I thought it would
I wanted the experience like everyone else
I want to laugh and go out
Be a real teen
The leaves are starting to change here
It's starting to get cold
I am in the fall of my teenage years
Next year I turn into a real adult
I just want to live my life and not think
Instead I sit here and analyze everything in my life
Bottles scattered across my desk
Along with a clutter also sits an unmade bed
A bed that shows worn but also eerily neat
This poem is not for pity
Life is not everything we imagine it to be when we're young
our tiny little feet grow up and our strides widen
Life goes on whether we like it or not
It all depends on how ready we are for it
Sep 21, 2020
Sep 21, 2020 at 5:22 PM UTC
Happy
Sad
Confused
Depressed
Lonely
Social
These are all the things I am and always feel
I try and reach out
To get out of my comfort zone
But I can only do so much
When all I feel is unwanted
I see all my 'friends' hang out with one another
but never ask me to do something
why is that?
My anxiety makes me think it's cause they don't want me
They don't like me
My therapist says no it's just that everyone does things with different people
Then how come until I reach out
I will sit alone in my room waiting for that text
inviting me to do stuff with other people
Sep 12, 2020
Sep 12, 2020 at 11:23 PM UTC
Sitting on her dorm room bed
Three feet from the floor
Not quite happy
But not quite sad
She wants to feel the ache in her bones
The hatred she has for herself
She wants that to come back
she doesn’t want to feel ok
Cause she’s not
Trying to make that decision
To walkout in the middle of the night
While her room mate sleeps
And to never come back
She’s ok right now
But she wants that sadness
The depression to fill her bones
She wishes she could pull the metaphorical trigger
And not live
Oh how she aches
To just want to not be ok anymore
Because when you’re not ok
You feel alive
Or at least she does
It’s terrible beast
She hates when she’s ok but hates when she’s sad
She just wishes she could not exist
That would be her ultimate goal
She types this in the dark as her roommate drifts off to sleep
I know cause that girl is me
Sep 9, 2019
Sep 9, 2019 at 10:32 PM UTC
Oh I wish I had a new hobby
I wish I was like others
everyone does such cool things
while I sit on my **** and do nothing
I try to do a hobby, or two but none excite me like they used to
So this is where I ask the people
Please help me with this task
what are somethings you do to help the time pass?
Mar 4, 2019
Mar 4, 2019 at 4:49 PM UTC