anothergirlwithfantasies
19/F/India
Another girl with fantasies, aka Muskan likes to read, write and wander around with a camera in her hands looking for a story to be captured and yes, a book in her backpack. / She enjoys sarcasm, punny situations, healthy silences and long conversations.
Everytime I visit a restaurant
and the smell of the food
hits me
I get lost in time
when I used to come home
all sweaty from playing with friends
and you had snacks prepared for me,
when I threw tantrums
related to food
and you always
cooked for me,
even if it was 2 in the morning.
You sacrificed your own needs
to feed me
my favourite dishes.
Every sunday
you filled my stomach
with your best dishes
and loads of love.
Since I have come to this city,
afar from you
whenever I get near food,
not only I miss the food
which magically appeared out of your hands,
but my stomach also misses you.
Even the excess oil on chappatis seems nice now.
Because nothing can beat the taste of your mothers’ food.
Everytime I visit a restaurant
and the smell of the food
hits me
I miss the magic of your hands.
May 27, 2018
May 27, 2018 at 9:37 AM UTC
My love for you
is no less
than a scar on my skin.
Some believe
it makes my skin
look ugly.
Others think
like me,that
this one scar, makes me “me”
It’s a scar
I happily bear
on my raw dark brown skin.
But one day,
it starts to fade away,
just like that.
Then you turn back
and give me your impish smile
and it resurfaces.
The deeper it goes
the stronger my love gets,
they go hand-in-hand.
It’s a story
I will tell
if it ever reaches its end.
It may fade again
with time
so don’t look back again.
Because this time
I don’t want you, scargiver
I want a healer.
May 27, 2018
May 27, 2018 at 9:36 AM UTC
Word of the day - ZEAL
Meaning - great enthusiasm, passion
__________________________
Her passion
towards her own body
arouse in me
a band of emotions
I never knew
I had.
When she feels
her way around
her own waist
that’s when it hit me
no one can love her
the way she loves herself.
The moment
she touches herself
and moans
is the moment
she feels at ease.
Her joy
is her pleasure
and her pleasure
is her joy.
Touching her own self
brings her a satisfaction
no man or woman
can provide her.
The power to grin
the power to moan
the power to feel
is in her own hands
and also fingers.
She is a Goddess
to be admired.
The way she gives
her own body
the satisfaction it needs
every woman should learn
how to do that
how to respect your own body
how to satisfy your own hunger first.
May 25, 2018
May 25, 2018 at 1:48 PM UTC
Word of the day - YONDERLY
Meaning - absent minded, emotionally distant
_______________________
I disappear
with my own choice.
I isolate myself
from the crowd
and want people
to not notice me
and then I blame people
for not caring about me
in the hope
that someday someone
will notice me
despite the fact
I don’t want him to.
I find myself
in a war situation
with the prejudices I hold
against people
and their true form.
I fear
that they’ll see
the truth behind
my fear of them.
I have transformed into a person
I don’t recognise
when I see in a mirror.
On the tracks of life
my train is stuck
and I try to hide
from other trains
but I cannot.
On the path of life
I took the road
to self destruction
and there is no turn ahead,
just a dead end.
May 24, 2018
May 24, 2018 at 11:18 AM UTC
Word of the day - XANTIPPE
Meaning - an ill-tempered woman
_______________________
She was a dangerous woman
Silent mostly
And she smiled through it all.
Her smile, that of a fox
cunningly beautiful.
Some days
she treated me as her king
and some days
she rubbed her anger on me.
Her moods fluctuated
like seasons.
She bounced through
her behaviour.
She baked cookies
and herself ate chillies.
She wore rainbow colours
but said dark nothings.
Last month
she whispered in my ear
about babies
and wedding.
And yesterday
when I bent down
and asked her to marry me
she slapped me in the face.
Her moods still affect me
and they shouldn’t.
Her ill temper
should not be my business now.
May 23, 2018
May 23, 2018 at 1:03 PM UTC
Word of the day - WHELVE
Meaning - to bury something deep
__________________________
You are not forgotten
And you never will be
You have a home
within the lines of my poetry.
The words are not hollow
They carry a meaning
They carry a story with them
Story of you, me and when we were dreaming.
I hid you
not within me
But in between the words I write
you were meant to be.
I meet you there
every time I open a page
You sit there waiting for me
Full of rage.
I try to convey
my story through my poetry
but all I am able to do is
dwell in you deeply.
I used to hide behind my words
Now I hide you there
Traces of you still haunt me
And I can’t go anywhere.
You buried me long ago
It was easy for you
And all along I wish this
I could have done that too.
For someone to find you
the way ahead is clear
enter between the lines, do one thing
pain is all you have to fear.
May 21, 2018
May 21, 2018 at 7:16 AM UTC
Word of the day - VOORPRET
Meaning - sense of enjoyment before an event
______________________________
Eight days
Nope.
Eight weeks
Nope.
Eight Months
before her wedding
the butterflies appeared
leaving me pink in the cheeks
and weak in the knees.
One month of struggle
to find the perfect dress
that will fit her tiny waist
and we found one,
with white bodice
and drapes of soft tulle.
Two weeks to find
the perfect caterer
for the ceremony.
Three weeks of crying
over the fact
that her favourite country band
was already booked.
She was on cloud nine
a week before the wedding
and I was holding her hand
on that cloud
as a bestfriend.
The excitement in us magnified
in that week.
The air around us was filled
with the particles of joy.
Because it was
my bestfriends’ wedding.
And when I walked with her
to the altar
I looked at her
and I looked back
to the past eight months
and realised
that happiness and tears
shared with her
would always be etched in my mind.
May 18, 2018
May 18, 2018 at 9:48 AM UTC
Word of the day - UITWAAIEN
Meaning - to take a break to clear one’s head
___________________________
To reach the wind
you have to go through the storm
and I went through that too
hailstorm and a thunderstorm
but now I want that peace
I longed for.
It will be easy they said
Try it, they said.
Nothing about this is easy.
Everyday I try to convince myself
to get up from the bed
and move ahead
and everyday I see myself fail.
To see your own face in the mirror
which once used to smile
every second of the day
now studded with regret, sadness
and every drop of tear shed
stuck on that face.
To see your own self
struggling to smile
or even utter a word to anyone
is the worst of it all.
At times like this
I always whisper to myself
“Escape”
because that’s the only thing I know
and what I am good at,
running away.
To clear my head,
to walk in the wind
to sleep on the gentle white clouds
to take a jog amongst the nature
to leave the misery behind
and never return,
never.
May 16, 2018
May 16, 2018 at 2:59 PM UTC
Word of the day- TOHUBOHU
Meaning- chaos/disorder
_______________________
Who said every chaos is beautiful ?
Falling for him
is just like a messed up thing.
Everything comes all at once,
altogether
and every emotion is hightened.
It’s a tornado of feelings
and once it hits you,
it destroys the peace.
Love is a beautiful feeling
but with love comes a price to pay,
which is chaos.
And baby,
I would do it all again
just to see you
smile through your mess.
Because when those lips
curve into a smile
along with your eyes
watering from thinking
about how messy you
plus your life are,
I feel proud
and somehow
that makes me
love you even more.
And what I said earlier
I stand by that,
Chaos is messy
and
Mess is chaos
and that isn’t beautiful all the time,
but the power one smile holds
over a person
is more than enough
to love that chaotic person
and their messy life.
So I repeat
I would do it all again
to see you smile
the way you do.
May 13, 2018
May 13, 2018 at 6:48 AM UTC
Word of the day - STRIKHEDONIA
Meaning - the pleasure of being able to say “to hell with it”
_____________________________
The way he asked me out
to a date
at a small cafe
near his place
with a book in my backpack
wearing pajamas
and a coffee with him
with lots of fangirl moments
and some tears to shed
over dead characters,
made me say yes.
For past twenty three years
I have been saving myself
for the prince on white horse
but not today.
“To hell with it”
I am going on a date with this man
who claimed
that one “yes” from me
made him cheer up.
I am ecstatic
for this date
with the man
who made me say “yes”
May 11, 2018
May 11, 2018 at 8:12 AM UTC