im over it.
please stop haunting my mind.
when im happy.
when im sad.
when im angry.
when im feeling.
please stop.
when im trying to sleep
after a long day, week, month.
you appear yet arent here.
so please go away.
and stay away.
- i miss you and i hate it*
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019 at 3:17 AM UTC
sitting in my closet
is one of my last memories of you.
ratty, beaten jacket
and it smells like you.
of the better days.
of walking hand in hand
of laughing shamelessly
of exploring, eating, kissing.
of the worst days.
of throwing our hands up
of crying hopelessly
of hiding, screaming, cursing.
it smells of you,
my home.
it smells of you,
my lover.
it smells of you,
that jacket, my jacket
which wraps me up
in so much
love and
too much pain.
you. are. gone.
yet
trapped
in the seams of fabric.
Sep 5, 2019
Sep 5, 2019 at 5:20 AM UTC
hold on to me
our adventures
our jokes
our dreams
our future
every time i close my eyes
i see yours
staring back at me
as i said goodbye to
our plans
our fights
our nightmares
our future
swelling of my heart
as i say
to please hold on to me
[loneliness
or
routine]
just
say you are still there
to hold me.
Sep 5, 2019
Sep 5, 2019 at 4:55 AM UTC
fingertips gently touching
heartbeats syncing to one
breaths of laughter, lust, anger
now I sit here, alone
coffee mug sharing
fighting over the remote
off-key screaming to songs on the radio
now I sit here, alone
hugging from behind
stealing of hats and sweatshirts
your scent, your voice, your warmth
now I sit here, alone
Nov 14, 2016
Nov 14, 2016 at 10:51 PM UTC
my favorite season has arrived.
standing outside in the sunlight,
feeling the cool breeze
slip through my fingers,
weave in and out of my hair,
and twirl me around like the falling leaves.
standing inside in the firelight,
absorbing the smell of the
cinnamon, and the
roasted potatoes, and the
hot chocolate and coffee and tea.
true happiness has taken its place,
and i finally feel the joy.
Oct 8, 2016
Oct 8, 2016 at 10:46 AM UTC
He threw candy at me.
I whirled around, annoyed.
He laughed that singsong laugh.
I couldn't help but laugh too.
Rules and regulations
tied our hands back.
Do not touch.
Do not look.
Do not kiss.
First date?
"Yes, but
do not kiss
and do not touch,"
Mom demanded,
solemn look in
her eyes.
"Mom,
he's a
good guy.
I know him.
I really like him.
We won't kiss,
I promise, but
please know
that I trust
him."
I grabbed his hand first.
He hugged me from behind.
We danced and sang in public.
We were a beautiful mess.
But awry things went.
Heartbreak.
Fighting.
Silence.
Hate.
"No."
A kiss
on my cheek
turned to five.
I told him, "No."
He pushed himself
as if I said nothing at all
until I had too much. "Enough!"
It wasn't the rules and regulations.
It was my heart and my feelings.
Something was wrong,
and I didn't want the
touching and the
kissing and the
hugging and...
He. hurt. me.
I trusted him.
He. lied. to. me.
practically all the time.
Should I have loved him?
I could've loved him.
I almost loved him.
He said I love you.
I didn't believe it.
He said "Stay."
Commanded.
Demanded.
As if I was
under
his
control.
Bitterly laughing,
I guaranteed him I won't.
His eyes turned dark,
but his voice
continued
pleading,
"Are you sure?
Please, baby,
come
back
to
me.
You are
my everything."
Deep in those eyes
lied the truth, and
I knew this was
not what love
felt like.
"No."
**** you,"
he said, seething anger
laced his once-sweet voice.
**** it. If you want to go-"
I nodded, "Yes."
He said bye.
So did I.
'Twas
the
end.
Oct 8, 2016
Oct 8, 2016 at 10:37 AM UTC
There's something about the way you dress,
the way you talk,
the way you laugh,
and the way you walk.
There's something about the way you smile that
makes my heart run miles.
There's something about the way you tease me that
pleases me to no end.
There's something about you that I love.
And that's everything.
May 23, 2014
May 23, 2014 at 11:49 PM UTC
the one who you trusted
the one who you told your secrets to
the one who you loved
broke your heart in a flash
with just a few words
all of those happy moments
down the drain
all of those promises
are gone
vanished like a winter storm
now it's just another day
every single ounce of us
was broken with the lack of trust
Apr 12, 2014
Apr 12, 2014 at 10:45 PM UTC
why am i missing him?
it's only been a day.
what am i doing?
i should be staying away.
he left you remember?
oh how i hope it was fake.
where is my smile?
it was wiped off of my face.
why aren't you happy?
i was earlier today.
why aren't you now?
i've been missing him too great.
what do you want?
i want him to stay.
but why is that?
i can't say.
Apr 10, 2014
Apr 10, 2014 at 6:27 PM UTC
They say don't fight fire with fire.
It only gets bigger and hotter.
I never ignited mine,
But my flame is growing now.
The light inside of me,
That only true ones can see.
It's also a light, not just a weapon.
It can be a cure to thaw a frozen heart.
It can be a remedy for the ones out in the cold.
It can be a guide, leading the sad souls back home.
They say don't fight fire with fire.
It only gets bigger and hotter.
But without the light, the cure, the guide,
The world would be a cold place.
And your inner flame would die.
Apr 9, 2014
Apr 9, 2014 at 6:42 PM UTC