I’m sitting in my room lights out window open
its raining so my pillow is wet
but I don’t think its from the rain
and there are clothes thrown around my room
it looks like something a ghost would do to make contact with the living but these are my clothes and I made this mess so I scream
“WHY AM I HAUNTING MYSELF"
into the walls and they just silently stare,
they know why - I guess I know too,
but I’ll never admit that I do
So here I am speaking tongues alone in my room and you are out shaking hands with the faces I have met once before
forgive me if I do not want the hear the details
May 1, 2014
May 1, 2014 at 12:57 AM UTC
This book will be filled with the
faces of those who are only
kept alive through my incompetent
words and futile thoughts
Your body is in my mental coma
and I think it’s about time
I pull the plug
/
No words can encompass
the amount of love
flowing from my fingertips
But it is wasted
and filling up the cracks
in the sidewalk
Strangers will trample
my misplaced intentions
and how can I ever be okay
with only seeing you behind
2 inches of museum glass?
Jan 20, 2014
Jan 20, 2014 at 5:10 PM UTC
open your car door,
light up a cigarette
i say there’s something special
about cigarettes, but I don’t know what
unbuckle seatbelt
you tell me it’s the way you
are prolonging a suicide
it’s like the world is watching you
jump off a bridge,
but not do anything about it
because the fall is slow
i laugh and don’t say anything
leaving your house at 3 am
you tell me not to die
because the roads are bad
and I can barely drive
I snap at you and say
don’t tell me not to die
tell me you hope
it’s instant
on top of a parking garage
my feet almost froze
and i looked at you
and thought to myself
that you are the type of person
i would write poems about not
being able to write poems about
and i wanted to go home
but decided to stay
you did not kiss me goodbye
but, neither did I
unbuckle seatbelt
you asked if i wanted another cigarette
i shook my head and left
you pulled out of the driveway
i hope it’s instant
Jan 4, 2014
Jan 4, 2014 at 2:49 AM UTC
I was starving so
You gave me bread, it was delicious
But soon it lost taste
I took a shower
the water was burning hot
I stood and it went cold
the rain is vibrant
washing away the thick dirt
but the ground flooded
what we have is grand
golden touch and laughs for days
but I feel it ending
All I hear on the radio nowadays,
is my voice telling me
there is something better
Jan 4, 2014
Jan 4, 2014 at 2:20 AM UTC
your name is the only word i can not say
(forbidden in my veins)
and your hands are roots so
when you place them on my shoulder blades
i moan the 7 wonders over and over
I'm going to hurt you
but right now I'm only going to want you
and let you believe in a higher power
as your lips whisper foreign languages
into my mouth -
i want to see the devil in your eyes
Your skin is a desert with no life
so let me give it some water
if only for a second
let me pull your hair
until the only word you can't say
is my name
i want to **** you
but i also want to hold your hand
i want to break your heart
and i want mine to be broken by you
Jan 3, 2014
Jan 3, 2014 at 1:30 AM UTC
I have had 10 romantic involvements.
60% have told me they loved me.
I have told 50% that I love them.
I lied to 80% of that 50% (.4)
I do not remember if 10% meant as much as I think it did.
And 10% has me.
I have hurt 100%.
I only talk to 30% now.
Numbers are the only
source of oxygen that
my veins accept as currency
refuting blood and organic matter
I am 100%
sorry
Nov 27, 2013
Nov 27, 2013 at 2:59 AM UTC
Alien encounters
abducted by my own frontal lobe
sand dripping down my toes like those
sandcastles I used to make at the beach
as a kid with peach fuzz dunes and
flower petal skies I want my
orange bathing suit sewed to my skin and
my finger nails cut too short so it
stings when I waltz on surfaces made
of wood or steel or linoleum
like those victorian queen polka days
when we used to lay on the kitchen floor sunlight
vomiting onto our faces and we laughed anyway
I want your mustache forests and I want to believe in them
and you told me I ran so fast I don't know why I slowed down
there are 6 easter eggs hiding in the garden but
one
has a slug on its shell and when you pick up
the tie dyed droplet surface you'll shriek
in delight
in the light
of the moon
the golden one hides in the creases of
the trees and it will remain there for
1 week until you smell the stench
like emerald gas climbing up your nose
I have dreams of flying
falling
thoughts of
icicles and snow angels
pretending I am someone I am not
an actress with all the lightbulbs and glitter
who am I to say it
me me me me me me
back to the hallway extremities
and ski lift blushing and ocean
drowning I can not wait
for the day that I finally realize
what I need to understand
in order to vacuum the carpet
in order to
in order to
Nov 22, 2013
Nov 22, 2013 at 10:08 PM UTC
"i'm only saying this because I care" -
********
He told me I don't pick up on social cues,
basically I am a glorified vegetable.
"you're so much better than that"
* but I can not recall a time when I was...
I'm no longer afraid of the dark.
I think it's because that's all I see.*
*plato's ******* cave*
"stop being so rude. You make people uncomfortable"
*how can I stop when my eyes refuse to work
I just don't notice it.*
{Am I not good enough?}
I thought things were going to be okay
all my friends hate me
all my friends are giant *****
I need better friends
{Maybe it's them not me}
Nov 18, 2013
Nov 18, 2013 at 12:13 AM UTC
Waking up in taxi cabs
with knotted fingers and
black lungs ash under my
nails “where the **** am
I going”
“I am taking you home”
But the streets are brown
and covered in puddles and I can't
see anything except my own
reflection in the window
I feel like I am drowning in
clocks that tell all the wrong
times and he told me I'm here,
but this isn't my house
“get the **** out”
now the car is polluting away
and I'm walking down foreign
streets with no idea where to
go my phone is dead just
like your ghost in my bed
“what does this mean?”
I wish I knew, but my mind
is terrifying with nightmare
creatures oh my god I wish you
knew I just don't know what
to do
oh
no
Nov 12, 2013
Nov 12, 2013 at 6:10 PM UTC
I want to smoke the rain
until my lungs gasp for air
until my hands turn blue
and instead of blood
I will have water sifting
through my veins
so when you hold me tight
I can drown you in the fog
that consumes me
entirely and thoroughly
and even though our
physical realm has crumbled
may our dream realities
coexist
and intertwine
like wool yarn,
knitting socks for
all the questions I
remembered not to ask
“How can you fall in love so easily?”
or more importantly,
“How can you just stop?”
Nov 1, 2013
Nov 1, 2013 at 12:10 AM UTC