You break me in two.
Then you tell me that you don't
Want a broken girl.
Sep 26, 2019
Sep 26, 2019 at 12:34 AM UTC
It's cute,
I walk with my eyes to the ground,
Apprehension in each step,
Nervousness with him around.
It's cute
When I get lost in all my thoughts.
I cant find the words to say
So I just say that I cannot.
It's cute
The way I second guess each word;
The way I struggle every day
With the thought of being heard.
It's so **** cute.
When I laugh away my pain.
So does it even matter
That I'm going insane?
It's cute
When my demons come and grab me by the ears
Tear my heart out of its chest
And they always fulfill my fears.
They're cute,
The endless tears on sleepless nights
When the visions surround me
And I've no energy to fight.
It's cute
When reminders of my past
Send me reeling into memories
Of all the pain that I've amassed.
It's cute
When I can't speak out loud for days
When I'm glued down to my bed
In a brokenhearted daze.
I guess it doesn't matter
Because its absolute:
Even if it kills me
My pain will still be cute.
Aug 19, 2017
Aug 19, 2017 at 2:21 PM UTC
Pain at your soft hand
One touch and I am broken
Hold me softly still.
Apr 10, 2016
Apr 10, 2016 at 4:17 PM UTC
My head spins when you appear.
As it always has.
Back when I loved you, when you were near,
My balance off and sight unclear,
I would hold you close to my heart, so dear
Until you turned my love to fear.
My stomach churns when you arrive.
As it always has.
I used to think that you kept me alive
That without you, I couldn't survive.
But every time I'd start to thrive,
You'd pull me down. And nose dive.
My hands shake when you're nearby.
As they always have.
Like before, when I bought every lie.
Because "our love could never die".
But, of course, I could never satisfy
The man who loved to make me cry.
Still fearful (although you've gone away),
But I'm stronger now.
After suffering through you every day,
Through every single power play.
I finally have the strength to say
One day I'll forget you, but at least for today,
I hate you. And that's okay.
Mar 19, 2016
Mar 19, 2016 at 11:12 AM UTC
Act now;
Think later.
Type now;
Think later.
This poem *****
Mar 14, 2016
Mar 14, 2016 at 8:16 AM UTC
I am invisible.
When you observe the Earth from space,
I am invisible.
When you look over my country,
I am invisible.
When you scout my town,
I am invisible.
When you pass me on the street,
I am invisible.
When you gaze through my eyes,
I am invisible.
When you speak at me,
I am invisible.
When you hold me,
I am invisible.
When you have me under your sheets,
I am invisible.
When you say you love me,
I am invisible.
Can I exist if
I am invisible?
Should I?
Mar 14, 2016
Mar 14, 2016 at 7:37 AM UTC
You're toxic.
You're the extra number in H2O2
Seemingly harmless,
But deadly. Combustible.
You're toxic.
You're the thought
That started killing
In the name of God.
You're toxic.
You're Helen of Sparta,
Or Troy, if you will.
Without the supposed beauty or skill.
You're Toxic.
You **** everything you touch.
Flowers suffocate
When they share your air.
You're toxic.
Mar 14, 2016
Mar 14, 2016 at 7:21 AM UTC
You hold me at arm's length
Afraid of my gaze
Afraid of my touch
Afraid of my love
Afraid of my leaving.
I hold you at arm's length
Ashamed of myself
Ashamed of my thoughts
Ashamed of my pain
Ashamed of my emotions.
We hold each other at arm's length
Accustomed to the space
Accustomed to the silence
Accustomed to the solitude
Accustomed to the seclusion.
We hold each other at arm's length
At arms length, but we hold each other still.
Mar 11, 2016
Mar 11, 2016 at 11:35 PM UTC
I went to see her.
The skinny doctor lady.
She tested my blood.
She tested my mind,
While waiting for the blood test.
Severely depressed.
I knew that, of course.
I have known since I was nine.
Just confirmation.
I told her my pain.
That all-over, horrid pain.
Everywhere. Always.
Fibromyalgia.
Silent, Invisible Pain.
It makes so much sense.
The blood tests came back.
Her drawn-in eyebrows furrowed.
I'm diabetic.
She looked so worried.
I am nearly anemic.
What else could go wrong?
Dejected, she said
I can't have children. Ever.
I am broken now.
Invisible pain.
Emotional. Physical.
No death to stop it.
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 12:29 AM UTC
The past few weeks,
I've been asking you to go home early.
One more minute, baby.
One more hour.
I'll go home at 1.
2 o'clock, I promise.
Six o'clock comes around,
And I rise with the sun.
And you're stretched like a cat on the floor.
Sharing a tiny couch isn't ideal.
It isn't fun.
It's too warm on one side,
And freezing on the other.
There is no middle ground.
I've spent 24 full hours without you,
Waiting on 24 more.
I hate it.
I want my body to be frigid on one side.
And boiling on the other.
I want you to squish my arm,
And send pain shooting up my spine
With an accidental knee to the back.
I want you to squeeze me
To the point where it's uncomfortable.
I want to be next to you,
To be near you.
As much as possible.
As long as I can.
I want to be yours.
Sep 12, 2014
Sep 12, 2014 at 11:42 PM UTC