anna-garnica - Hello Poetry

I dream about the curve of your nose it matched the way your waist shaped itself over the years I could always see your pores but when I kissed the bridge leading to your forehead I couldn't feel them Pilot G-2 0.7 on my arm "I love you more than my own skin" you don't but I still do sorry I ruined your summer I’m not actually sorry I just can’t stop dreaming about your nose that one time you pierced it at that sketchy shop at the age of 15 and they closed about a week later that was when we discovered our favorite restaurant if I were to eat there now I would probably throw up all over the food bar I am truly sorry I had to make you hate me. I wish you were sorry for losing the ring I bought for you maybe if it didn't get left behind

0

Nov 20, 2019

Nov 20, 2019 at 6:14 PM UTC

its because we were both leo's

I dream about the curve of your nose it matched the way your waist shaped itself over the years I could always see your pores but when I kissed the bridge leading to your forehead I couldn't feel them Pilot G-2 0.7 on my arm "I love you more than my own skin" you don't but I still do sorry I ruined your summer I’m not actually sorry I just can’t stop dreaming about your nose that one time you pierced it at that sketchy shop at the age of 15 and they closed about a week later that was when we discovered our favorite restaurant if I were to eat there now I would probably throw up all over the food bar I am truly sorry I had to make you hate me. I wish you were sorry for losing the ring I bought for you maybe if it didn't get left behind

25

She gives me her sweet smile over dramatic and eyes scrunched up I play her my most softest music It comes from a speaker sitting on her dashboard Her radio hasn’t worked in years Even though she doesn’t know the words she hums along perfectly I glance towards her hands on the steering wheel I admire how soft and full of talent they are she is missing her left knuckle Her hands look like mine but hers don’t shake like mine do You must have steady hands to paint I do not paint, I write and play video games and catch frogs She paints and reads and loves wine I love when she is wine drunk She will hold my hands and sit closer to me tells me she loves me calls me her "sweet friend"

0

Jul 8, 2019

Jul 8, 2019 at 6:05 PM UTC

little anna

She gives me her sweet smile over dramatic and eyes scrunched up I play her my most softest music It comes from a speaker sitting on her dashboard Her radio hasn’t worked in years Even though she doesn’t know the words she hums along perfectly I glance towards her hands on the steering wheel I admire how soft and full of talent they are she is missing her left knuckle Her hands look like mine but hers don’t shake like mine do You must have steady hands to paint I do not paint, I write and play video games and catch frogs She paints and reads and loves wine I love when she is wine drunk She will hold my hands and sit closer to me tells me she loves me calls me her "sweet friend"

18

My dad used to tell me that I shouldn't like boys because they were no good. I used to believe that there was no way to avoid getting pregnant and that it just happened. The first time I ever masturbated I was sure there was a baby inside me. I used to blame my dad for me being gay. I used to think that you were one of those "good guys" that everyone told me I would find. Everyone told me it was my fault for ******* you and I believed it. I knew you were falling in love with me but I didn't want you to leave. Even though my whole body was shaking as you slid your hands up my clothes, you wouldn't stop Even though I told you about my past and you saw that I was frozen in fear, whenever you pinned me down you didn't stop. I now know that i'm gay because that is just how my brain is wired when you jokingly told me the ****** broke I still didn't get pregnant I now know that there is no such thing as a "good guy" there are only people and their morals I tell everyone that I hate you but the only way I could stop talking to you was by moving away. I'm not in love with you but I miss our all nighters and the dinners we would make for each other. you made me feel like i was the only one that mattered and that i was the most stunning and powerful woman in existence. Although I plan on never seeing you again I am still stumped about the way you made me feel. our relationship was just as messy and confusing as this poem you are officially the most mysterious thing that ever happened to me.

0

Sep 2, 2018

Sep 2, 2018 at 1:08 PM UTC

boys and girls can't be friends

My dad used to tell me that I shouldn't like boys because they were no good. I used to believe that there was no way to avoid getting pregnant and that it just happened. The first time I ever masturbated I was sure there was a baby inside me. I used to blame my dad for me being gay. I used to think that you were one of those "good guys" that everyone told me I would find. Everyone told me it was my fault for ******* you and I believed it. I knew you were falling in love with me but I didn't want you to leave. Even though my whole body was shaking as you slid your hands up my clothes, you wouldn't stop Even though I told you about my past and you saw that I was frozen in fear, whenever you pinned me down you didn't stop. I now know that i'm gay because that is just how my brain is wired when you jokingly told me the ****** broke I still didn't get pregnant I now know that there is no such thing as a "good guy" there are only people and their morals I tell everyone that I hate you but the only way I could stop talking to you was by moving away. I'm not in love with you but I miss our all nighters and the dinners we would make for each other. you made me feel like i was the only one that mattered and that i was the most stunning and powerful woman in existence. Although I plan on never seeing you again I am still stumped about the way you made me feel. our relationship was just as messy and confusing as this poem you are officially the most mysterious thing that ever happened to me.

21

I remember visiting my mom in rehab as a child. I didn't understand the extreme pain most of these patients were going through and I especially didn't understand why my mom was here. I only have good memories of that place. Our moms met there and that's how I became best friends with your sister. I remember the smell of your oak wood home in the middle of the woods and the huge fireplace in your mostly glass living room. Whenever i enter a house and smell a fire place it instantly takes me back to your home. I remember little baby blue nipping at my feet as I ran across the huge field you had in your backyard and jumping on to the trampoline while we laughed at the fact that Blue couldn't reach us up there. The old broken down tractor at the edge of the woods that we would pretend to drive all the time. My mom slept on your couch and I would visit for the huge fancy meals your mom would make for us all. At that time you were several years older than me and you knew what was going on. You understood that the probability of you ending up like our parents is at a higher percentage than most. I understood nothing. I don't know what happened between our parents but I didn't see you guys for several years after I entered junior high. Fast forward to my first year in college and there was your sister standing at my front door. Friends of friends is how we found each other. I knew this couldn't have been a coincidence and that's a lot coming from someone who doesn't believe that there is a meaning to life. We catch up and reminisced on old times spent together before we exited our childhood. It's almost as if we had never seperated. Several weeks later an unrelated friend told me how he had caught someone doing heroine in the hyvee bathroom while he was working and had the cops take him away. That same night your sister called me to tell me you were in jail. You stayed in the same rehab facility our mothers had and your sister told me how everything was exactly the same but how strange it was to see it all in the eyes of an adult. I finally met you one last time while I was at work and I noticed how happy you made her and how big the smile on your face was. The kindest eyes I had ever seen in my entire life. Several months later they found you dead from an overdose on heroine at you house in Oregon. I brought your sister flowers expecting her to be devastated but she seemed calm and only wished to be outside with her friends. A week later she broke down in my bathroom for the first time. I had never before attended a celebration of life but as soon as I showed up I knew you would have loved it. We swam in the river with all of our clothes on to cool off and I let everyone hotbox my car several times just to help cope. I ran away from my mom upon her arrival because I knew I reeked of **** You would have found that hilarious seeing as though i'm nearly 21 and you know the stuff our mothers did together when they were younger. I met your girlfriend and although she seemed at ease it broke my heart to see such a beautiful small yet strong woman go through what has happened. We all sat around a huge bonfire with glow sticks and fire dancers doing tricks in front of us. I watched your mom and your sister do the most beautiful spiritual dance around the fire. Even though they had no idea what they were doing it nearly brought me to tears. Your family loves you Ryan, Your friends miss you and I am happy that you have been given the chance to move on from this universe and hopefully start over somewhere new.

0

Jun 27, 2018

Jun 27, 2018 at 9:01 PM UTC

A Eulogy

I remember visiting my mom in rehab as a child. I didn't understand the extreme pain most of these patients were going through and I especially didn't understand why my mom was here. I only have good memories of that place. Our moms met there and that's how I became best friends with your sister. I remember the smell of your oak wood home in the middle of the woods and the huge fireplace in your mostly glass living room. Whenever i enter a house and smell a fire place it instantly takes me back to your home. I remember little baby blue nipping at my feet as I ran across the huge field you had in your backyard and jumping on to the trampoline while we laughed at the fact that Blue couldn't reach us up there. The old broken down tractor at the edge of the woods that we would pretend to drive all the time. My mom slept on your couch and I would visit for the huge fancy meals your mom would make for us all. At that time you were several years older than me and you knew what was going on. You understood that the probability of you ending up like our parents is at a higher percentage than most. I understood nothing. I don't know what happened between our parents but I didn't see you guys for several years after I entered junior high. Fast forward to my first year in college and there was your sister standing at my front door. Friends of friends is how we found each other. I knew this couldn't have been a coincidence and that's a lot coming from someone who doesn't believe that there is a meaning to life. We catch up and reminisced on old times spent together before we exited our childhood. It's almost as if we had never seperated. Several weeks later an unrelated friend told me how he had caught someone doing heroine in the hyvee bathroom while he was working and had the cops take him away. That same night your sister called me to tell me you were in jail. You stayed in the same rehab facility our mothers had and your sister told me how everything was exactly the same but how strange it was to see it all in the eyes of an adult. I finally met you one last time while I was at work and I noticed how happy you made her and how big the smile on your face was. The kindest eyes I had ever seen in my entire life. Several months later they found you dead from an overdose on heroine at you house in Oregon. I brought your sister flowers expecting her to be devastated but she seemed calm and only wished to be outside with her friends. A week later she broke down in my bathroom for the first time. I had never before attended a celebration of life but as soon as I showed up I knew you would have loved it. We swam in the river with all of our clothes on to cool off and I let everyone hotbox my car several times just to help cope. I ran away from my mom upon her arrival because I knew I reeked of **** You would have found that hilarious seeing as though i'm nearly 21 and you know the stuff our mothers did together when they were younger. I met your girlfriend and although she seemed at ease it broke my heart to see such a beautiful small yet strong woman go through what has happened. We all sat around a huge bonfire with glow sticks and fire dancers doing tricks in front of us. I watched your mom and your sister do the most beautiful spiritual dance around the fire. Even though they had no idea what they were doing it nearly brought me to tears. Your family loves you Ryan, Your friends miss you and I am happy that you have been given the chance to move on from this universe and hopefully start over somewhere new.

2

a fetus through my ear and down my pocket Life's Little Treasures in a field drenched with rain a trophy lands in my backseat we peel out of the park they all stare your doll hands grab at the Xanax filled tube courtesy of your mom's boyfriend who happens to have a wife your brother slips into layers of boxers he checks his new watch refusing to spend a penny more we exit simultaneously we notice our organs are missing I tell you, you can keep it forever

0

Sep 6, 2017

Sep 6, 2017 at 1:52 PM UTC

kleptomoon

a fetus through my ear and down my pocket Life's Little Treasures in a field drenched with rain a trophy lands in my backseat we peel out of the park they all stare your doll hands grab at the Xanax filled tube courtesy of your mom's boyfriend who happens to have a wife your brother slips into layers of boxers he checks his new watch refusing to spend a penny more we exit simultaneously we notice our organs are missing I tell you, you can keep it forever

19

afraid to close your eyes at night you think of the pieces painted on the back of your eyelids less like Van Goghs Starry Night more like Francisco Goya's Saturn's Sun the walls of your mind holding black paintings Quinta del Sordo you are engulfed in them forgetting your roots roots that have been torn from the earth from a hand that now wraps around your waist pulling, pulling, pulling you awake and realize the hands are from a girl who paints cherry blossoms in your mind instantly you feel warmth rush through you as you press your tear stained cheek against hers

0

Apr 23, 2016

Apr 23, 2016 at 9:37 PM UTC

Untitled

afraid to close your eyes at night you think of the pieces painted on the back of your eyelids less like Van Goghs Starry Night more like Francisco Goya's Saturn's Sun the walls of your mind holding black paintings Quinta del Sordo you are engulfed in them forgetting your roots roots that have been torn from the earth from a hand that now wraps around your waist pulling, pulling, pulling you awake and realize the hands are from a girl who paints cherry blossoms in your mind instantly you feel warmth rush through you as you press your tear stained cheek against hers

16

the many times I fell in love with you: 1.) the first time we hung out alone and we were kissing for the first time and you pulled away and made a face that read "Oh **** I really like her" and all I could think was how much I loved that face and how nobody ever looked at me that way 2.) the night I was driving you guys everywhere and we were all high and I was ****** off because I didn't know where I was going to stay the night but you kept looking at me with these really worried eyes that made me feel better 3.) when I fingered you on my kitchen counter and When we were done instead of kissing me you just hugged me and I never felt so loved in my life 4.) that same night and it was like 6 in the morning and the first alarm woke us up and instead of getting up you put your arm around me and we fell back asleep 5.)the next day I came over and you thought I was asleep so you started singing in the shower and it was the most beautiful voice I had ever heard 6.) the last time I spent the night and we just watched movies and ****** all night 7.) last Friday night when you fell asleep on me in the car and my nose was filled with your scent and the fact that there was another living being with a body and mind beyond my comprehension was leaning on me made me very happy and in love 8.) in the field when I finally told you I loved you 9.) every time you just randomly grab my hand that ***** good

0

Oct 6, 2015

Oct 6, 2015 at 10:29 PM UTC

A list #1

the many times I fell in love with you: 1.) the first time we hung out alone and we were kissing for the first time and you pulled away and made a face that read "Oh **** I really like her" and all I could think was how much I loved that face and how nobody ever looked at me that way 2.) the night I was driving you guys everywhere and we were all high and I was ****** off because I didn't know where I was going to stay the night but you kept looking at me with these really worried eyes that made me feel better 3.) when I fingered you on my kitchen counter and When we were done instead of kissing me you just hugged me and I never felt so loved in my life 4.) that same night and it was like 6 in the morning and the first alarm woke us up and instead of getting up you put your arm around me and we fell back asleep 5.)the next day I came over and you thought I was asleep so you started singing in the shower and it was the most beautiful voice I had ever heard 6.) the last time I spent the night and we just watched movies and ****** all night 7.) last Friday night when you fell asleep on me in the car and my nose was filled with your scent and the fact that there was another living being with a body and mind beyond my comprehension was leaning on me made me very happy and in love 8.) in the field when I finally told you I loved you 9.) every time you just randomly grab my hand that ***** good

10

in the dark your fingers brush my lips you lean into my ear and whisper you choose my love, sweet or sour my fragile ego goes with sweet after time goes by my feet in which what carried me withered away as your child like crush followed in my footsteps but my craving for you stayed until it killed me

0

Jul 10, 2015

Jul 10, 2015 at 1:48 AM UTC

Leo

in the dark your fingers brush my lips you lean into my ear and whisper you choose my love, sweet or sour my fragile ego goes with sweet after time goes by my feet in which what carried me withered away as your child like crush followed in my footsteps but my craving for you stayed until it killed me

9

hyped up on amphetamines I see flashes of his hands coming down on her each and every strike harder than the next **you stupid **** mimicking the moves we form our own version of the waltz playing this dangerous game almost every night not knowing when to stop we take things too far but its okay it's okay, I swear I am my own mom and you are my dad your powdered face and beady eyes nose bleeding you ask why I love you I cant answer and it's your turn it's always your turn but I don't mind because I love you I will always let you go first if you want

0

Mar 17, 2015

Mar 17, 2015 at 12:30 PM UTC

Untitled

hyped up on amphetamines I see flashes of his hands coming down on her each and every strike harder than the next **you stupid **** mimicking the moves we form our own version of the waltz playing this dangerous game almost every night not knowing when to stop we take things too far but its okay it's okay, I swear I am my own mom and you are my dad your powdered face and beady eyes nose bleeding you ask why I love you I cant answer and it's your turn it's always your turn but I don't mind because I love you I will always let you go first if you want

18