your feet weren't fully grounded so I pushed you
the next thing I knew, you picked me up and pulled me in too
I felt weightless in your arms...weightless and protected
yet I had to choose and once again you were rejected
Aug 4, 2015
Aug 4, 2015 at 1:13 AM UTC
It feels like you were never here
Like I imagined you coming back into my life
Jun 9, 2015
Jun 9, 2015 at 3:07 AM UTC
i push the memories away hoping I'll forget them like you're forgetting me
May 17, 2015
May 17, 2015 at 2:34 AM UTC
I won't let myself feel. I've grown cold, numb, emotionless to you.
May 17, 2015
May 17, 2015 at 2:31 AM UTC
You build up and I build down
You have roots and I have wings
You are calm and I am wild
You are nurturing and I am destructive
You are loving and I am hurtful
You stay and I leave
You walk and I sprint
You sit and I pace
You smile and I glare
You are disciplined and I fear rules
You are patient and I'm anxious
You are healthy and I dysfunctional
You are perfect and I am not
You ask why I love you.
Because you're everything I'm not.
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 11:45 PM UTC
I'm angry at myself
Did I force the one person I love most to leave?
Why am I struggling with this?
Why can't I just be better?
Why can't I just have him?
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 11:41 PM UTC
I close my eyes and I picture my dream home
I picture this house in the middle of a piece of land
It has a porch that wraps around the whole house
You walk up the stairs to get to the front door
When you open it, you see a small living room to the left
Directly in front of you is the stairs
There's a kitchen in the back and on the right side a piano for a small music room
It's rustic but not necessarily old
Wooden floors and empty frames on the wall
You walk upstairs and there are different rooms here and there
But the master bedroom is adjacent with the front door
The stairs leads right too it
As I walk up the stairs into the bedroom
There is you
And that's what makes this place home
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 11:38 PM UTC
In the end, whatever argument or whatever place we stood I knew that I would wake up and you would be there with me and that made any place with you bearable...the fact that you would always be by my side.
So tell me what to do now? Tell me what to do when you're gone. Tell me how to breathe because I don't think I can anymore.
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 11:32 PM UTC
My love for you is a paper lantern lit in the sky
The northern lights in Iceland
Big Sur drives along the coast
Light house journeys
The hills behind my house towering my childhood
Walks around my neighborhood
The passenger seat in my car
Oregon and roadtrips
The grey stripped sweater that I sleep with every night
The plants that I desperately try to keep alive
Late nights on my red couch kissing each other, trying to be closer and closer
My 21st birthday in Napa when I imagined what living with you would be like as we sat on the couch in the hotel room watching dumb tv shows
Carriage Hills
Music that only you could ever relate to you
Words that only you would say
Lists that we created together
Random places where we've peed or kissed
Jumping into a body of water with you in the middle of the night
My love for you exists when i close my eyes because when i close my eyes and think of my happiest moments i see you
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 11:28 PM UTC
I sit and think i'll never be able to move again if you're not here
I don't think I've ever been this sad in my entire life
Losing you is unbearable and my whole being aches
The pain won't go
The pain won't leave
It's probably too much to call and ask you to come over and hold me as I cry
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 11:19 PM UTC