It does not haunt me
how you stole a piece of me without consent
It does not replay in my head
your hands on my unwilling body
Rather, I'm plagued by the days, the weeks, the years that follow
When I laugh at their jokes
After you bragged about your conquest
When I shrug my shoulders to my friends
and tell them it was mutual
When I sit at my parents dinner table
and pretend it didn't happen under their roof
When I meet a nice boy
But his touch gives me a panic attack
so he stops returning my calls
Know that I'm not haunted by the night you stole my peace
Know that you didn't ruin my night
you ruined all the nights after
May 31, 2019
May 31, 2019 at 11:43 PM UTC
The finish line it waits for you
So you waste no time strapping on your shoe
Not willing to even let the dust settle
you ignore in your shoe there's a pebble
Far in the distance
the sun and the rain live in coexistence
But in the path lies a bolder
and suddenly your blood runs colder
Worry begins to bubble
and your heart rate shows signs of trouble
Eyes locked ahead
even if the stress leaves you ridden in bed
We beg you to get a guide
and he tells you to look inside
The pebble in your shoe
is much bigger than the boulder you must move
You'll get to the finish line
but only if you take it one step at a time
May 13, 2018
May 13, 2018 at 11:08 PM UTC
I am laying in bed
wishing you were out of my head
But I can't seem to clear the space
so lets find a change of pace
So for my trick tonight
Ill crawl into your head
see how you like it instead
I hope I haunt you in your dreams
Close your eyes
and think of me
My face, my lips, my smell
The way our castle fell
My laugh, my tears, my talk
The way my hips swing when I walk
I hope you see a fool in the miror
Anguish, desire, for what we were
I hope every thought you have is me
but better yet just set me free
May 11, 2018
May 11, 2018 at 11:54 PM UTC
I think I'm under medicated
so I stay sedated in my sleep
and in the chocolate that I eat
I stay away from alcohol
what was a fuel is now a poison
And all around me they slur words
what I'd give to sing along
I'll take your hangover
if you take my bed
Three days crying is bad for your head
I'm fighting hard to stay on track
but this track is a circle and now I'm back
What's worst of all is it took control
I feel helpless but not alone
I thought my mind was on my side
but I feel lost when it's in drive
Fighting mind with mind
Fighting mind with medicine
to both I will stay dedicated
But I think I'm under medicated
May 7, 2018
May 7, 2018 at 9:46 PM UTC
If I was strong enough to hold you
I'm not sure that I would
I think I'd use my strength and pack my bags
and get the hell out of this place
I'm scared of your sad eyes
what if they leak in public?
Im scared of what's in your mind
I know I cant understand it
If I was patient enough to comfort you
I'm not sure that I would
I think I'd leave you in your bed
and go jumping in the rain
I'm afraid I'll see your demons
and won't put up a convincing fight
I'm afraid I'll wear away
if I lay by you all night
If I was wise enough to fix you
well Im not sure anyone could
But worst of all I don't think I'd try
I'm afraid of you thats all
So I'll stare from a distance
It'll all get better soon
May 7, 2018
May 7, 2018 at 9:41 PM UTC
If I don't believe in Him
Can I still believe in you?
To fill my life with a watching eye
To protect my mom
and to hold grandma's heart when she feels alone
Can I pretend the circle of life
doesn't just roll along without intent
And that you spirit shines forever
I'm not sure that I believe its fair
and not sure it goes on past this end
but your words, your blood, your strength
lives on with us all
Rest in peace, Grandpa
May 4, 2018
May 4, 2018 at 10:56 AM UTC