Oh why, oh why, do they call it a crush?
I wonder if it's the impact of the rush.
Implicit Desperaux.
Your looks matter not, but your eyes have me intrigued.
Spark a love in me I no longer believed.
Those eyes are doors to exactly where I wanna be.
Please, oh please, let those eyes notice me.
I still barely know you, I've only now gotten familiar with myself.
So I'll take these feelings and bottle them for my own health.
I'll stay away, yeah I will try and keep my distance.
I'll stay away, I'll stay away, though it feels like a futile resistance.
One look and I wanna run my hand up through your hair, kiss your neck, and talk forever.
One look was all that took, what is this feeling it's not fair;
and I get vibes, yeah I have instinct.
These stomach drops are familiar and distinct.
I just wanna get to know you, fawn over every word.
Speak to me.
Wit and intellect, so beautifully absurd.
Your eyes are doors to exactly where I wanna be. Oh please, oh please, let those eye notice me.
Sep 23, 2016
Sep 23, 2016 at 12:34 PM UTC
Why am I so nervous?
My body is mechanically cautious
Inside this shell is a throbbing Heart time-bomb.
Rapid ticking tempo,
for reasons I don't understand
but already know.
Dance away from me.
Be so beautiful,
the human landmark you were meant to be,
yet I'll never see.
I was manufactured to be a small piece of your past,
your own family told me young love doesn't last.
As more of a threat than a statement,
I just received and digested it.
Proving them right,
my last regret is wasting time putting up such a fight,
I ****** up when I should've calmed down and listened up.
I found who I used to be,
was always there inside of me,
but before she could grow,
she needed to experience that pain to know.
Humiliate me
Titillate me
Infiltrate my mind
Why are psychic vampires so seemingly kind?
Jun 1, 2016
Jun 1, 2016 at 7:09 PM UTC
Day of Realization
Age of Information
The mind can be both morbid and innocent,
at the same time.
Back-brain treachery,
is human nature, not a crime.
Be the masterpiece in progress,
while the World is but stationary.
A model is pretty,
but knowledge is legendary.
Jun 1, 2016
Jun 1, 2016 at 6:57 PM UTC
My open wound,
infected.
Heartbreak manifested.
I picked you like a scab,
a catalyst in a lab,
accelerating my own processes
to that of your own.
Your warmth,
so protective,
made my shelter a home
-but what you want is not me,
but a molded version.
So dance around that issue
with scapegoats and diversion.
I know you'll do better,
I'll run into you years away,
where there's love and warm weather.
Someday-
Tears of Growth
Tears of Pain
We Intrigue and Disdain
so come forth with me,
face the love that we have slain.
I will always be here for you,
Despite this state of forced separation.
It's temporary,
but necessary.
This was a dire situation.
Kids in time out,
so elementary.
So let us find our own destination.
I'm done with these games.
Futile war efforts,
battle of names and blames.
I can forgive,
but I don't forget.
I know that sometimes time and change,
is the best cure for regret.
I know you're full of sorrow,
but love,
there's always another tomorrow.
Humble your Mumble.
Make it bright,
Promise me telepathically
this won't **** your spirit to fight.
Understand my reasons,
know that feelings do fade with the seasons.
Memories don't,
even foggy and fragmented.
Distance yourself,
far away for a time and you'll see they're all segmented,
glued together by sentiment.
Parallel puzzle pieces make a picture,
every number and scripture.
Please take my advice, as yours I haven't forgot.
Use your notebook I gave you,
write down every recurring thought,
or in time's web they'll be caught.
Bottled Up
Never to Escape
Let it out
**** the Ego
Accept your Fate
You're dwindling and drowning,
unable to see that you're the only one who can save yourself.
I can only guide you for so long before losing sight of my own path.
You know hate is an illusion, all feelings are passion.
Do the math.
I know how you're feeling.
Situations are Fleeting,
you just have to enjoy them and relax.
Even when your head is spinning and reeling.
Breathe
Make a Joke
It will pass
Just because the present is in shambles,
doesn't mean it will last.
Remember to not forget that.
Jun 1, 2016
Jun 1, 2016 at 6:49 PM UTC
I am an emotional sponge,
your laws I cannot abide.
I know that I have to,
but I don't want to hide.
I won't.
My shame is gone,
sunny sights and warm nights,
my eyes are set on.
I hold no animosity for the fleshy shell across from me.
Shared in past, separate in present,
set free to live different futures
and represent it.
I will appreciate you,
celebrate you from afar,
every smile you crack
I wished for on a star.
You'll never believe me,
but hurting you wasn't my goal.
I struggled too much on my own,
to teach you how to free your soul.
I'll never regret what we had,
or forget the happy times and the sad.
I will always love you,
I would write it in the sky,
but until we are singularly whole and happy.
Goodbye for good,
goodbye goodbye.
Jun 1, 2016
Jun 1, 2016 at 6:14 PM UTC
lost across an ocean of light,
The stars are diluted,
the faiths still all fight.
I've been trying to tell you what you already know,
we're all small, even standing tall,
but our knowledge can grow.
Say something, or say nothing.
If you won't leave with me,
I'm still going.
I just need you to know.
Goodbye childish fears,
the faces of my peers.
Bittersweet,
Strangers to meet,
I'll learn their names and faces,
maybe they'll consider me an acquaintance.
It's not like anyone knew me anyway,
the intricacies of the human mind separate and connect us that way.
Goodbye to all familiar,
I've tossed my inhibitions out the window.
Tears will refrain darling,
I'll write and visit by train,
you'll always be my love and my pain.
This town will always be the same,
as soon as I knew I could not remain.
Goodbye ****** town,
of mediocre opportunity,
I'll fly to new limits and discover the beauty.
I know that you'll miss me,
maybe someday again you'll kiss me.
So vile, human representation of pride,
tone down your need for control,
hold on and buckle up,
life is just a ride.
Jun 1, 2016
Jun 1, 2016 at 6:00 PM UTC
I just want everyone to be happy, why can't I be?
My head hurts,
as my heart parts from my body,
is this what's left of me?
Detached numbness I feel,
is this the calm before the storm?
How will I go on,
without your presence as the norm?
I am a rubberband,
pulled tightly by those who care for me.
I bend and pull in knots,
when will I snap completely?
Inevitable, but I socialize my way into solitude,
mournful of my own attitude.
You're such a good person,
it's my fault
it is my fault.
I never wanted you locked up in a vault,
though I'm now safe
from your preying on my insecurities,
my mind is still busy and full of formalities.
Everyone thinks I'm better off waging war,
but I just wanted peace.
Still, you needed to be gone,
you weren't even on my lease.
The feelings still shake me that I cannot release,
Regret and Remorse
Your love a drug highway,
I GPS'd the course.
Driving forever,
Stranded
The love ran out,
I searched and I pleaded
but there's no fuel about.
Don't ever forget that I care,
even if to you it seems wrong.
One Day I'll convince you,
in Rhyme, and in Song.
I will remind you,
it wasn't farewell, but goodbye.
When I told you I loved you,
it was never a lie.
I still just want everyone to be happy, why can't I?
Jun 1, 2016
Jun 1, 2016 at 5:48 PM UTC
We all die, at different paces,
ages, genders, cultures and races.
If someone asked you if you were happy,
could you say yes?
Some say "of course" at best,
but is it sincere?
Would you still say it in a polygraph test?
Did you really mean it,
or did you second guess?
We all die, at different paces,
ages, genders, cultures and races.
Inconceivable, but Inevitable
in the back of my mind and yours.
They call life a game,
but who keeps the scores?
May 7, 2016
May 7, 2016 at 8:52 PM UTC
Arms outstretched,
every bone and nerve-ending.
To all that have felt my presence,
good vibes I'm sending.
I have known you
You don't care about me
I have loved you
You taught me about me
Feet grounded, fingertip branches sway.
Motions I yearn to be making,
Force of Wind keeps me Dancing
Night and Day.
In the sky
It's a face you can't forget, with no name.
You could hear it, scream it at the tops of your lungs,
and it would never sound exactly the same.
You could even frame it,
when there's no one to blame.
Find me and tell me Everything,
Find me and tell me Anything.
I have known you
You don't care about me
I have loved you
You have taught me about me
Build me up, to take me down.
Love me tough, then run around.
Had me fooled more than once or twice,
Knowing what I do now would've been nice.
I have known you
You don't care about me
I have loved you
You have taught me about me
Find me and tell me Everything,
Find me and tell me Anything.
May 7, 2016
May 7, 2016 at 8:45 PM UTC
Here I stand at the foot of an empire in ruins,
and Here I was expecting an apology-
how silly of me.
What was I thinking?
What are we?
Human, an advanced animal,
yet not exempt to be territorial and hostile.
Tactile.
Our differences make us change,
I grow brighter but you grow sadder
and virtually stay the same.
Your problems consume you and feel strange,
but they're as common as your misconception
that anyone else is to blame.
I need you, but if this is effort
I don't want you.
I'm stationary,
wondering all the while-
Why the pants of liars,
don't actually catch fire.
Three Strikes, and I'm out,
Here's to baseball and wet dreams,
and to the bridge you'd be living under had it not been for me.
Two years of this confusion,
but the trauma of physical encounters haunt my neurovision.
You strike the picture of innocence,
the once untouched pure essence.
I just want to be alone so bad,
you've shown disrespect for all we had.
I say I'm not listening,
but truthfully I heard.
The real problem is,
I don't believe a word.
Neither of us are stealthy,
but this isn't healthy.
Nothing I do is good enough for you.
So you guilt me into living in captivity.
I need you, but if this is effort,
I don't want you.
May 7, 2016
May 7, 2016 at 8:24 PM UTC