I have mixed feelings about you.
I am sure I don't want you around anymore but I think I only get attached to you when you pressure me into it.
Sometimes I feel that I am just happy with you not being around because that's what's real. The reality that I always deny. When you're not around I have peace in my heart and in my mind. I stop worrying. I stop thinking about you daily movements. I stop caring, as simple as that. When you appear.. or you keep trying.. you give me the false hope I always had in you.
I am fed up from the false hope.
I am fed up being with someone who acknowledge me ONLY when I am GONE.
Sorry it's too late dear. I made up my mind.
I don't need you in my life.
Jul 27, 2015
Jul 27, 2015 at 4:42 PM UTC
I don't need you in my life anymore.
20/7/2015
Monday
11:41 pm
Jul 20, 2015
Jul 20, 2015 at 3:42 PM UTC
I am so ******* sick of giving you chances you don't deserve.
And may this blog help me in vanishing you from my entire life *****
and btw telling me to **** off is probably the best thing you ever did and the BEST motivation that is making me decide to LEAVE you FOREVER babe. THANK YOU FOR THAT!
Sorry because that's how it goes.
I am better without you
and I am not even sure if I love you the way I did before. So why stay? It's pretty pointless at this point especially that you hurt me immensly without even acknowledging how much I fought for you.
OH NO no more fighting, I am done.
YESSSS I AM DONE
I wish you can feel my excitement!!!
NO MORE YOUR **** NO MORE BAYB!!
NO MORE WORRIES!
NO MORE PAIN!
AND YESSSS NO MORE YOU!!! FTW I AM SO ******* HAPPY!
You made my brain click of how FILTHY you are and how much you don't deserve the LEAST **** from me.
I just hope you rotten with your sick pyshco personality. I hope you go fix yourself! No one in the entire world would like to lose a person who might actually die for them and love them to death you psychic ***** And I would never do that to someone who loves me. I am glad I am done from your mentality. Sorry if that hurts but its the ******* truth you cannot deny.
Jul 18, 2015
Jul 18, 2015 at 5:26 AM UTC
I can't believe my heart is accepting someone else over you. I can't believe I decided to leave you after all the fighting I did for you..
I guess it is time babe.
and I won't even call you babe anymore.
#Surreal
It is time for me to leave all the pain behind.
It is time for me to live a future and not a fantasy.
It is time for me to just LIVE, without waiting for you, pleasing you or even loving you.
It is time.
Jul 10, 2015
Jul 10, 2015 at 9:26 PM UTC
I knew you would hurt me but I waited. I gave you the benifit of the doubt just in case you would appreciate what I have been doing for you..
Maybe I am wrong,
Maybe I should'nt have had tried so hard.
Maybe I should just realize many things...
I should realize:
1-You are not good enough for me.
2- You don't care about me as much as you did before, in fact, you sometimes don't care at all.
3- You only bring saddness and pain to my heart, unlike before, when you used to bring me joy and happiness.
4- You will never acknowledge me infront of your parents, sisters, friends or in public.
5- You will always demand for more but give me less.
6- You think you are always right.
7- You have a replacement for me whenever I decide to go.
8- You think we won't be lovers/friends forever and it is just a phase. I know that for sure.
9- You always guarantee that I will come back.. ALWAYS.
10- You like seeing me weaker than you, sometimes I think you even enjoy it.
I will leave you but for more than the 10 reasons above.. There are more reasons that you could even imagine.
But wait,
When do I need you the most?
and Who is your replacement?
Before deciding to leave you I should make sure I won't ever come back to you like I did before.
The solution, is a new love. Shall I accept the new love offered to me? Shall I say yes? Shall I open my heart to someone else? Will I commit to him the same I did to you? Will I be his comfort zone like I did to you? Shall I give him a chance? Shall I?
Or Shall I just forgive you again (as usual) and endure the pain...?
Jul 10, 2015
Jul 10, 2015 at 9:15 PM UTC
The fear of losing you is haunting me everywhere I go but at least now when you're around I feel safe and secure.
Also, my anxiety instantly decline when you fill my life with your joy and laugh. The more I get attached to you, the more I love you babe. It's our destiny so don't deny it..
at 1:48 pm on 6th of July you re-emerged but not as an idea or imagination but as a real person who actually loved me with all her heart. I would never forget the time, date or day. It's the day I had a nap with you, listening to your breath and the night I slept like a small baby placed under her mother's arms.
Jul 6, 2015
Jul 6, 2015 at 8:35 PM UTC
You claim that you don't love me anymore and you lov(ed) me once and that's enough,
You claim that the momeries are fading as I said but it's for the better?
I wish I can hate you even more than you could've imagined.
I wish I can wake up every morning watching you GONE.
I wish I can do the same, love you once, for fun and just leave whenever I want.
I wish I can go back in time and decide not to love you. I wish!!!
How can you be so heartless?
How can you be so uncaring?
How can a person act in both ways, they have loved you but they suddenly decide that your love is not enough!!!??!?
I feel like **** because of you,
and I am sorry but I wish for you to rotten with me, rotten with the idea of me chasing you wherever you go, which is reality that you ofcourse would never speak about!
Oh **** because you are just so FILTHY.
You are born to be like that, so ******* heartless.
yeah because you only ACT like you're stupidly strong and happy without me!!! While I chase everywhere, even here, you don't ******* care about me, yet you are reading and waiting for me to right **** about you in public.
How can you be more pathetic that you already are?
If you don't care, why do you subtweet me?
If you don't care, why do you keep reading this ****
If you don't care, why do you keep checking here? WHY?
Leave me the **** alone.
Leave this page.
I hate you.
you ******* filthy b*
I am NOT writing for your ******* satisfaction!!!! I am writing for myself and I will still love you, because I am not as filthy as you.
Jul 5, 2015
Jul 5, 2015 at 3:18 AM UTC
When I first saw you, I would have never thought I would love you this much.
Remember when I saw you in the park, it was the first craziest thing I have ever done in my life. I remember my heart beating so loud as I leave the house heading to the park afraid that someone would expose me.
I remember it was too dark, I was wearing my favorite pair of jeans and a tank top.
I was shivering although it wasn't too cold.
When I saw you, I felt the moment freezed somehow. I remember, it was the first time you hugged me so tight that I could hear your heart beat, or maybe it was mine, I don't even know. I remember how you did not care about anyone around us, it almost felt like we were alone in their. Remember how it was the first time I kissed your hands? You were pulling them away from, as if it was violating your dignity. I remember I did it without even thinking about it. Remember when you kissed me for the very first time? Remember how you did not look right or left, not caring about the place and the people? Rememeber how it felt... It took me away from myself.. I don't remember how did you feel after that.. but I remember how I was so childish and almost felt embarrased all the time after. I miss my old self. The one who loved you "unconditionally".. The one who trusted you in not leaving.. Remember how safe it was when I was with you? I miss it. I miss being safe. I miss placing my head on your shoulders. I miss feeling secure with you, as if you were protecting me from any harm. I miss the person I loved with all my heart without even thinking if what I was doing is right or wrong. Before I close my eyes to sleep, I remember all of these memories which are living in me. Your touch, warmth, smell and love... I can never look pass them.. Even after a hundred years.. You taught me what the word "love" means. You made me feel loved, you cared for me like I was your daughter...
and now I should forget all of that, I should hate you.. I shouldn't remember any of it.. How sad it is that love is fading after years of great memories..
Jul 4, 2015
Jul 4, 2015 at 10:06 PM UTC
I officially hate you,
more than I have ever done in my life.
I hope it satisfies you enough,
now you have a reason to not come back for real.
Now you should just go away from me..
Now only I realized for real, I don't think I will ever give you other chances.
And I am not sorry about it, at all.
I just hope I can sleep peacefully away from your ****
Jul 4, 2015
Jul 4, 2015 at 9:11 PM UTC
You did every possible thing to make me give up.
I am so happy for you, you did it, you succeeded.
I am no more waiting for you.
I deleted you pictures (new/old)
I threw your gifts away, firstly, your watch which I don't want to wear anymore.
I blocked you, with enough courage.
I no longer will go after you like a kid.
You will no longer have a doll and game to play with.
It's time I get what I deserve from a specific person who would die to have me.
I am no longer in your prison. NO!
I've had enough of you!!!! ENOUGH!!!
I am not looking back this time.
I will not say oh I might regret this if you died or I died.
I will not say Allah won't accept us tearing ourselves apart.
I won't BEG you or anyone to be in my life.
I will not ask, wait, check over your tweets, check over you!! I WILL NOT!!
Jul 4, 2015
Jul 4, 2015 at 7:48 PM UTC