All I wanted was to fast track the pain
When you made me slow down
In a world where everything goes by
At the speed of light
Following your rhythm allowed me to heal
Even tough I missed writing, you taught me
That all takes patience when it needs to surmount
The trials of life
I’ve known passionate love, trahison, heartbreaks
But I never knew I deserved a slow love
A partner caring enough for my wings
So I could fly freely and supported
Aug 17, 2022
Aug 17, 2022 at 4:15 PM UTC
I've always dreamt of Love. The one Love that makes you flush from the inside. The one real Love that does not hurt you, a Love you trust, you fear and cannot live without.
I've loved one man in my life. I'm a simple girl, I don't ask for much, I''m no drama, I give all my trust when i tell you I love you. And that is all. I'm all in. Simply be simple. Yet, I think I love complicated men. A least, he was. Dark, twisted, selfish, self-centred, passionate, yet he loved me. I never doubted that.
I'm an altruist, full of peace and understanding. I don't hate anybody, I dedicated my life to others. I live to change the world, make it a better place. He lives to make his world at his image. And I love him.
I don't judge. I try to be the best version of myself, the person I wish I'd meet in times of need. I'm a nurse. I studied to help others. I don't believe in the economy or our system. We failed to recognised its errors and bugs. I want fix them, or a least be the start of that change. He wanted me to live for me, but mainly to live for him. I did, for a while. Because I'm trustworthy, and I'd do anything for the ones I love. And he was number one. I think he still is.
I told my bestfriend when she got dumped, that the heart always hurts. And the Love always stays. We learn to live with it. The one Love that hurts you, will help you find the next that won't. Yet, one Love won't take the other's place in your heart. Love marks you.
So I try. To give Love, unconditional Love, to everybody I meet. Because we are missing some. And some may not even be enough.
I also want to be loved. I thought he would be my Love. The one that helps you get up and breath. The Love that gives you wings and helps you fly free. I'm not disappointed that he is not. I'm proud I knew I needed to love myself and put that Love first. I lost myself in him for a while, and while I found myself back again, he lost himself in return. So I left. I broke his heart and mine. I left the man I love, the man I will always love, the love of my life.
I hope he's fine. That he found Love in his life, the one only yourself can give you: self love, self respect, trust. And maybe, in a while, I'll see him trust someone for the first time, and it will be the Love of his life.
In the meantime, I'll try to make a difference, to open the eyes of the unloved. I'll try my best to Love. And I hope, I'll have someone to give me back what I gave to the world.
... So, ... I'm not as altruistic as I thought I was.
Jan 28, 2020
Jan 28, 2020 at 6:53 PM UTC
breaking us up left a void
so large, so deep, yet so fragile
that an apology from you
would still fill it up
Dec 30, 2019
Dec 30, 2019 at 8:44 PM UTC
I promised you I would stay
I promised you I would never leave you ...
And yet I did.
I said I would love you forever
I said I would accept you despite everything
And I do.
You showed me love like no one before
You showed me control like no one before
And so I left.
I was not enough, I would never be enough
But I love you enough ... And it was not enough.
And yet I don't love you any less ...
Sep 12, 2019
Sep 12, 2019 at 5:12 PM UTC
I wish I could give you
Peace. Fresh air. A break.
Because you get through everything
When I would have given up
I wish I could show you more
That I love you, that I am loyal to you
Instead of just saying it
Because you deserve more
I wish you would be there tonight
That I could fall asleep in your arms
And kiss all the bad thoughts away
Without the fear of loosing you
Jul 9, 2019
Jul 9, 2019 at 6:37 PM UTC
I used to dance alone,
Along so many people, lost in the crowd,
I used to look for myself, trying to
Create my life's guidelines
They say it comes when you are least excepting it
Ask no question then, and let's dance together
So we began to dance, completely intertwined
Afraid of the upcoming day and reality
I was not expecting you
We have not met so I could write better, or cry less,
We met so you could see yourself like I admire you
Jan 3, 2019
Jan 3, 2019 at 2:46 PM UTC
She said: you're the light within yourself
Keep the fire burning
You are going to sparkle through your life
And I'll be there to watch
Dec 7, 2018
Dec 7, 2018 at 10:27 PM UTC
a night, one warm summer evening
strong lyrics, songs we listen to,
thinking about each other, not wanting to admit it
one touch, one kiss
a lots of alcohol, no judgment, candid talks
not wanting to change, afraid to loose it all
hard, dark, twisted life
pain and sorrow, kind smiles and honesty
fear, terror, panic attacks
us, in a little box, far away for life
warm and cozy, alone, safe
on one's own and cold, sad then tired
Dec 7, 2018
Dec 7, 2018 at 10:14 PM UTC
I hope you read me someday, if ever you do
Because I made a lot of mistakes
Like an infant learning to walk
I tripped and scratched my knees multiple times
And at least you'd understand that I am clueless
The world has been a scary place
And I hoped to protect you from its demons
I failed, ... and I am sorry
And proud
We survived
Nov 4, 2018
Nov 4, 2018 at 12:57 AM UTC
Cold adds a comforting note to tonight
It wraps around my body, taking it all in
In my basement bedroom, where I've just lost a fight
Far away from home, when I just realised where it's been
I promised, to her, to him, I would be alright
I thought I left in time, strong enough to take care of my life
Yet, I still watch the raindrops dance with the wind and city lights
And music can't cover those noises; my heart being stabbed by a knife
You used strong words that woke my poetry up, I should thank you
I packed my life and left home, twice, this past summer...
All of it for you to keep me thinking about coming back and queue
And you've known all along: for you, I'd be stupid enough to fight the other
Nov 4, 2018
Nov 4, 2018 at 12:50 AM UTC