anadulthumanfemale - Hello Poetry

i hate that i want to think bad things of the girl you chose over me cause it's misdirected anger and i want to tell her to know better and watch her temper cause you don't like it when i raise mine and i should tell her to watch where she steps cause your **** is everywhere and i want to yell at her to stop looking in the mirror and look in front of her cause his opinion of her hair and his hands on her the insides of her thighs will follow her forever and she'll be sitting where i am wondering if she should have said yes more often if she actually doesn't know what she's talking about and doubting the words she holds in her mouth and holds in her throat and holds in her stomach and holds in her toes. maybe i'm projecting again but i don't think so.

0

Mar 22, 2019

Mar 22, 2019 at 10:36 AM UTC

it's not her fault

i hate that i want to think bad things of the girl you chose over me cause it's misdirected anger and i want to tell her to know better and watch her temper cause you don't like it when i raise mine and i should tell her to watch where she steps cause your **** is everywhere and i want to yell at her to stop looking in the mirror and look in front of her cause his opinion of her hair and his hands on her the insides of her thighs will follow her forever and she'll be sitting where i am wondering if she should have said yes more often if she actually doesn't know what she's talking about and doubting the words she holds in her mouth and holds in her throat and holds in her stomach and holds in her toes. maybe i'm projecting again but i don't think so.

1

when i was in kindergarden i was taught to be kind and explain why i was sorry when i was i never questioned my mind anymore than i questioned why i rode the bus every morning every morning every morning every morning i woke up and i knew i was awake because i could blink and move my fingers and not just my fingers but my hands and not just my hands but my arms and not just that but my whole body actually, i could move my entire body and i knew i could because i saw it happening and only i can say i know my body is moving for certain because i am the one making it move in the first place so how can you stand there watching me walk and watching me jump and i'm running now and i'm climbing and i'm screaming and i'm spinning and dancing and you're watching me but you insist i'm standing still i am awake and i know this for certain

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Mar 22, 2019

Mar 22, 2019 at 10:35 AM UTC

don't tell someone what they feel cause you don't know that and you're a ****

when i was in kindergarden i was taught to be kind and explain why i was sorry when i was i never questioned my mind anymore than i questioned why i rode the bus every morning every morning every morning every morning i woke up and i knew i was awake because i could blink and move my fingers and not just my fingers but my hands and not just my hands but my arms and not just that but my whole body actually, i could move my entire body and i knew i could because i saw it happening and only i can say i know my body is moving for certain because i am the one making it move in the first place so how can you stand there watching me walk and watching me jump and i'm running now and i'm climbing and i'm screaming and i'm spinning and dancing and you're watching me but you insist i'm standing still i am awake and i know this for certain

2

Walking home from my friend’s house after making music and making faces and his roommate’s ex-girlfriend was in the kitchen, her back to mine across the living room and I closed the door. I walked the eight blocks to my house. To the left To the right I thought of you but only a little bit. I laughed when I slid on the ice on Summer Street and I inhaled deep to relish in the lack of sun, and for the first time, I listened that night in November with her cold and slender hands over both of my ears.

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Mar 22, 2019

Mar 22, 2019 at 10:27 AM UTC

her hair was brown and long

Walking home from my friend’s house after making music and making faces and his roommate’s ex-girlfriend was in the kitchen, her back to mine across the living room and I closed the door. I walked the eight blocks to my house. To the left To the right I thought of you but only a little bit. I laughed when I slid on the ice on Summer Street and I inhaled deep to relish in the lack of sun, and for the first time, I listened that night in November with her cold and slender hands over both of my ears.

7

I’m just trying to eat my french toast and drink my coffee but you keep cutting me off as I’m about to take a sip take a bite asking why I like it with sugar i add a spoonful of creamer and you’re laughing but not in a loving way talking about my schoolwork and my plans for the garden and you skip over the congratulations and mention your ex girlfriend going on about your ex girlfriend and my face has hardened i drink my coffee and try not to listen i eat my french toast and i don’t pay attention i’m looking at the man with the book eating alone i’m looking at the waitress wishing she were home excuse me and i’m up the bathroom is empty and nobody saw me the mirror is clean and i am ***** the lights are brighter than i want them to be and the soap dispenser is empty

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Mar 22, 2019

Mar 22, 2019 at 10:26 AM UTC

and again with the smug *******

I’m just trying to eat my french toast and drink my coffee but you keep cutting me off as I’m about to take a sip take a bite asking why I like it with sugar i add a spoonful of creamer and you’re laughing but not in a loving way talking about my schoolwork and my plans for the garden and you skip over the congratulations and mention your ex girlfriend going on about your ex girlfriend and my face has hardened i drink my coffee and try not to listen i eat my french toast and i don’t pay attention i’m looking at the man with the book eating alone i’m looking at the waitress wishing she were home excuse me and i’m up the bathroom is empty and nobody saw me the mirror is clean and i am ***** the lights are brighter than i want them to be and the soap dispenser is empty

14

i changed the lightbulb cause my boss asked me to i was going to do it myself but then she asked me to

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Mar 22, 2019

Mar 22, 2019 at 10:25 AM UTC

After Reading The Bell Jar

i changed the lightbulb cause my boss asked me to i was going to do it myself but then she asked me to

2

My therapist says I'm doing really well and when she says it, she makes eye contact and her posture is relaxed and I didn't even mention her tone yet but think of your mother when you've been heartbroken for the first time if you're the kind that has been heartbroken and if your mother is a soft one but mine is and I am and she was like that. Her tone was that of my mother when I was heartbroken for the first time.

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Jan 24, 2019

Jan 24, 2019 at 2:31 PM UTC

therapist recommendation to a friend who asked

My therapist says I'm doing really well and when she says it, she makes eye contact and her posture is relaxed and I didn't even mention her tone yet but think of your mother when you've been heartbroken for the first time if you're the kind that has been heartbroken and if your mother is a soft one but mine is and I am and she was like that. Her tone was that of my mother when I was heartbroken for the first time.

2

you were as a kid that day and the one after and then again and after that too and I'm not sure what was in your OJ that first morning, the tuesday morning, that you shrank 10 pants sizes and threw out your books to make room for bright things but I wish I'd had apple juice in my fridge that day

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Jan 24, 2019

Jan 24, 2019 at 2:27 PM UTC

we're grown ups now.

you were as a kid that day and the one after and then again and after that too and I'm not sure what was in your OJ that first morning, the tuesday morning, that you shrank 10 pants sizes and threw out your books to make room for bright things but I wish I'd had apple juice in my fridge that day

1

When I'm no longer twenty in two days I will be twenty-one and that's really all I have to say about the matter.

0

Jan 24, 2019

Jan 24, 2019 at 2:22 PM UTC

When I'm twenty-one

When I'm no longer twenty in two days I will be twenty-one and that's really all I have to say about the matter.

1

moving that morning felt easy my lifeline was long and thick my head was normal size and not any thicker than normal the cats were in good spirits the art on the wall was patient but not expecting anything I'm not expecting anything I woke up and I was not expecting anything

0

Jan 24, 2019

Jan 24, 2019 at 2:17 PM UTC

Sometime last month I think

moving that morning felt easy my lifeline was long and thick my head was normal size and not any thicker than normal the cats were in good spirits the art on the wall was patient but not expecting anything I'm not expecting anything I woke up and I was not expecting anything

6

this blue light has grey shadows you're blue with grey climbing down and settling with the pebbles and shards of bone I take the paper from the walls and make stars

0

Jan 24, 2019

Jan 24, 2019 at 2:10 PM UTC

The wallpaper was old anyways

this blue light has grey shadows you're blue with grey climbing down and settling with the pebbles and shards of bone I take the paper from the walls and make stars

4