amelia-jo-anneWhisper

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snowflakei'm broken spaces, / unnamed multitude faces: / see wholes as fractals.

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False Idolsshe moves over me / soft kisses / small fingers

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DietyI have a habit / of hypnotizing myself / I like to put on my veil

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falloutanxiety attacks like / volcanic eruptions / buildup unbreakable.

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here, i pose questions that i do not answeri am a woman who hasn't gotten over her girlhood strifes. i am alive in conflict & chaos; when storms still i tremble. i struggle with questions of my own importance. if i am your leaning post, why do i feel so alone? i am one ocean with many seas, rivers, harbours & waterfalls - each with their own names. i am not of this realm, yet my father calls me worldly. i struggle with questions of my own identity. if everyone sees me as one solid being, why do i feel so broken? i am a lover of opposites, of balanced scales, of reflections: black & white, girls & boys, sea & sky, everything & nothing, always & never. the sometimes, the somewhat, the earth, transvestites, grey zones: they don't sit well with me. & yet i am spokesperson for the exceptions (i before e, except after c. using drugs to have *** with people is assault, except for ****** i only like to write with black pens, except when I want to use a pencil. i only drink black coffee, except when I crave a double-double. i only **** girls, except when i need a **** each girl has her own firm resolve, that is contradicted with another's opinions: my whole existence is self-hypocrisy. i struggle with questions of conflicts in my own interest. if i am decided, why do i peer with longing at the other options? i am a planner, an organizer, a sorter: i put my problems in piles. i am erratic, scatterbrained & impulsive. i use my abilities to try to outsmart my destructive tendencies; to try & balance the scales. my flighty adventures often win over my obsessive habits. i struggle with questions of my own intent. if i am scared of commitment, why do i keep promising?

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Exist ContemplateI am alive & just barely; / my throat is closing off / with hard, precious cancer eggs

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Josephineyou are a fool, Sophia. As I look up at these city lights, every neon sign seems to advertise you; they all remind me of what I'm missing out on. I pass strangers and hear them whispering your tender mercies: "so?" "fee" "ahhh..." I may be being quite forward so early on in our correspondences, but the theory that you are a scrap of paper that someone would allow to slip through their fingers is ridiculous to me. I say that because even after only meeting you once, by such a fortunate and faithful chance, I wanted to write screenplays, novellas, and entire manuscripts only based on how beautiful your name sounds when I say it. I will be absorbed in everything you admit me to learn about you. I only hope for your amusement when you discover my own scorched trails. I'm stupefied by your compliments, and I will catch every drop of your defrosting heart on my tongue. I felt so stupid but I beamed in pride seeing I could make you blush as pink as the roses on the bush behind you... such a delicate, feminine, sensitive color; white blossoming into red, purity blooming into passion. How I wish I could be the one to awaken a passion in you. I'm terribly sorry if I'm smothering, but you've an expert pen dipped in ink of naivety... in meeting you I crossed the border between respectable me and questionable sanity: the Sophia Line (your kiss would be turpentine, **** anything I used to be to become anything, everything you need from me). Ah... fee so... you've given me a lot to live up to. xo. Josephine.

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The Inevitable Letdownevery girl just looks so **** good / I try not to be a lion on the prowl / bite my lips & take the drag of a cigarette

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with ******* not big enoughsomeday, you'll understand. the way you don't know how to brush your teeth anymore, or when it's time to bathe. they way you look at others and they seem too fast, their clocks running on fresh batteries. the way you have to psych yourself up for days to mop the floor, or how you need a day or two of rest after 'changes in plans'. the way normal noise seems hap-hazardous and it panics you, heart hammers, teeth grit, and you rocking, murmur ssssssshhh... as if this house was a baby too big to soothe; you standing on the edge of that wavering lip, saying ssssh into that dark expanse of empty, needing mouth: it's hollering and doesn't hear you, doesn't hear you but hears the torment of a needing stomach. You: you stand there with your ******* not big enough to nurse, too empty to satisfy.... / ....someday you'll understand.

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mothsingle flame in dark / brighter than one hundred eyes / peering through bushes

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@amelia-jo-anne

Joined 2013

20-something Canadian. This isn't my main poetry site, but I keep it because sometimes I like to look at different styles of poetry, and to expose myself to a different audience. That's really how I see my writing: an exposure. Here is some other stuff that I do that you might be interested in: http://ameliorate--resurge.tumblr.com (An accepting, open-minded site where you can receive honest, loving advice and support when you reach out to me. This is a safe place. <3) http://borders—lines.tumblr.com (a personal blog. includes some of my free verse poetry, things I am passionate about, things I find cute or funny or meaningful. or selfies.) http://www.imma-duck.deviantart.com (all my free verse poetry, some rants, visual poetry, personal journal posts, other things that I make.) http://www.summonaduck.deviantart.com (free verse poets Daniel {summonaconjurer} and Amelia {imma-duck} team up in this collaborative poetry project)

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