amber-belford
American
A dreamer is someone who can find their way by moonlight and their punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world. - Oscar Wilde / / I write for myself and I always will. I write for a chance to see his eyes graze my skin once more and I always will. I write to wipe the disappointment from her frowning face and I always will. My writing lives within my soul, dulcet, until my emotions become prevoked, and they spill out within the chaos. The shining beacon after a natural disaster. I enjoy honesty but my heart, the youngest of my organs, prefers fantastic lies. Be harsh. I'll cover her ears. I promise.
my lips form the words
the three simple words
that seem so freeing in that moment
swirling around my tongue
the aftertaste sweet
but bitter in its root
for it is impossible to quantify
these feelings bursting with each syllable
feelings that burn my very soul
my eyes open with your eyes
seeing beauty in a world that
knows nothing but pain
my heart beats with each breath
that escapes those precious lips
pulsing your name through my veins
my skin tingles with each word
your sigh wraps around my ears
pushing me over the edge of everything
my smile shines with each thought
that you encompass and create
my brain your playground
these three words
8 letters
bring such joy to my heart
hope springs from my eyes
creating timelines down my cheek
our future pooling at my chin
dripping
counting the seconds
until I hear your voice
see your smile
hold you in my arms
create a memory
within a memory
memories
moments
sharing
exploring
loving
holding
sinking slowly
into each other
until we are one
these 3 words
say more than they
could ever express
in words alone.
Jul 11, 2011
Jul 11, 2011 at 5:28 AM UTC
lie still awhile
darling
let your bones
rest
breath in
breathe out
repeat
as my fingertips
trace your lifelines
your body
the conductor
my hands
tingle with the charge
my lips graze your eyebrows
taking the furrow
my lips graze your cheek
tasting the tears of years past
my lips graze your chin
taking the stress
my lips graze your lips
tasting their passionate memories
i leave my mark
my fingerprints
along the outline
of your created form
the sensation of
cool skin
boiling blood
the reverberation of
pounding heart
ragged breath
my hands explore
every inch of your
transfixed anatomy
savoring
my fingers composing
the night song
against your
limbs
allowing your skin
to melt against mine
against my form
until
liberation is found
so
lie still awhile
darling
let your bones
rest
breathe out
breathe in
repeat
as my fingertips
trace your lifelines
Jul 8, 2011
Jul 8, 2011 at 9:34 AM UTC
my book was moved aside
he glared
why do you read
why bother
he nearly shouted
my ears rang
as i answered
to escape
the simple words
dripped from my chapped lips
like a summer rain
ending a month long
drought
to escape?
his voice pressed against my ears
probing my mind
with its sharp blade
of doubt and contempt
i cleared my throat
and adjusted myself
to explain
yes sir
to escape
my voice as soft as the hum
of my clothes whipping
twisting
and dancing
in a sudsy
technicolor ballet
to escape from
the mediocre soap opera
my life has become
from maybe maybe not
pregnancies
to mental family
members
from the woman that glares
and analyzes me in the mirror
every morning
to the shroud of invisibilty
that cloaks me as i walk
the streets
from the cruelty of the
midless drones that run
this world
to the intelligence
that is masked and stepped on
for a higher belief
he looked at me
up and down
transfixed
or
realizing he is getting more
than he bargained for
i patted my book's
soft leather binding
and a weary smile crossed
my face
in here
i can be whomever
i want to be
in here
i can live the life
i believe i deserve
i can be a
queen of anything
lovingly doted on
by her loved royal subjects
but when the pressure becomes
too much
the next day
i can be her
lady-in-waiting
who steals
secret glances
and secret moments
with the queen's favorite
palace guard
or
i can be the evil villianess
who traps the world's
beauty within her
septer's globe
but when my heart
freezes with her
cool intensity
i can warm my soul
as the handsome hero
who tricks the greedy villianess
and releases the beauty
for the world to share
the buzzer
announces the intermission
of its ballet
as i press the start button
flashing the lights
announcing it's finale
i check my phone
no new messages
flashes on the screen
i cooly shove it
back into my pocket
and retreat to my book
once again
his razorblade eyes
cut through the bounded pages
knicking my half-closed eyelids
but your life sounds far more
interesting out here
in reality
that word wraps its
barbed wire tenticals around my soul
and begins to strangle
no
no
no
in here
i give my book
a harder tap
in here
he loves me for who i am
not who i will
hopefully be
someday
in here
i let out a soft sigh and sink back into my chair
when i say "i love you"
i believe it
a knowing smile spread
across his wrinkled face
creating a timeline
of his years spent
washing
and loving
drying
and hurting
he pats my exposed arm
and retreats to his
basket of antiques
ready to fold
of course he found
my life to be
better here
his hand is on the remote
he can change the channel
leaving me
behind the static of
the humdrum
within the glass of
agony and self-loathing
as i turn the page
the soft crinkle
resonates
against the hums
and the buzzing
and the soft murmurs
acting as my mute button
Apr 14, 2011
Apr 14, 2011 at 7:39 AM UTC
i took control
i made you wait
i pushed you away
i played your game
i
alone
had the power
or so i thought
my mind
foolish mind
promised me the world
and here i stand
in bitter darkness
wading in a
salty sea
of regret
why
listen to myself
why
insist on confidence
why
pretend to be
why not
just follow
why not
close my mouth
why not
simply exist
for you
to build me up
every day
to knock me down
every day
repeat
repeat
regret
i am sorry
for trying
for begging
for avoiding
for screaming
for everything
for apologizing
for growing stronger
for what i may do tomorrow
for allowing myself to live this way
Apr 14, 2011
Apr 14, 2011 at 6:57 AM UTC
her smiles
made of air
seldom given
never there
backward glances
soft shake of the hand
pulling her in
no one can
hidden by lies
guarded by masks
fragile spirit
her morals, simply glass
her fears
deep-seeded
her laugh lines
receded
a solitaire
a single spec
too few reasons
too many regrets
ever present silence
deafens her screams
never present reality
ripping at the seams
her fear of being simple
her fear of not being enough
her fear of the outside
her fear of losing slough
emptiness encompasses
loathing resides
carelessness accompanies
trusting subsides
to let in the darkness
empty-hearted affair
sentences her to life
though she was never there
Apr 14, 2011
Apr 14, 2011 at 6:57 AM UTC
your eyes are cinematic
always drawing me in
a part for me
awaits within
the cerulean traps
although
every time i am called
upon our soundstage
of mutual
lust
yearning
love
i am paralyzed
forgetting my lines
for your lights shine
far too
bright
to allow anything more
for this silent fool
whose body is left reeling
as her mind is left
w o n d e r i n g
Apr 14, 2011
Apr 14, 2011 at 6:56 AM UTC
i am simple; a summer rain
cooling the warm pavement
a soft thunderclap of untapped strength
you are complex; a spring hurricane
littering the streets with passionate carnage
lifting emotions and swirling brilliance
everything about you
opposes my very being
my cool umber eyes
combust under your blazing indigo stare
my pale, ghostly skin
flushes with life with each striking, glowing smile
my ever-present faint utterances
hush as your rich sonorous voice caresses my ear
a whirlwind of contradiction
surrounds this
this crazy
perfectly imperfect
soul-entangling
mind-unraveling
tranquil chaos
we call
us
because
what is a raging storm
without a little drizzle?
Apr 14, 2011
Apr 14, 2011 at 6:56 AM UTC