She burned through a crowd
With a wave so deep
It was hard to see clearly.
If only she knew how hard it was to breathe
She filled my lungs with longing
As sure as the moon will rise to meet the night
My eyes were captured fireflies
Cold lights
Not strong enough to emit a warning
My sailing heart would crash a thousand times at her shore
And as long as the rain keeps falling
so will I
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 12:52 AM UTC
422
The number of days it's been
since we've had a real conversation.
Even though there wasn't much talking.
6
The number of days since I last texted you
after losing count of the one dollar beers
downed effortlessly.
2796
The miles of distance it has taken
to get you out of my system.
You're almost gone.
Unknown
The number of times I've sworn you off.
Affirmation that "I'm fine" has reached
an endless count.
1
The number of people it took
to change my heart for good.
You were a rose whose thorns left
no mercy.
422
The number of days it took
for me to realize I've had enough,
that you will always forget,
and that maybe I should, too.
Sep 4, 2014
Sep 4, 2014 at 12:39 AM UTC
Your car smelled like the cigarettes you smoke at 3am
Wondering how the hell you even got here
Or why it even matters
Your car smelled like a paradox
And before you rolled your windows down
I took in one last breath
It felt like home
But then it got cold and you lit up
Thinking it would take your mind off things
and it hit me
That smokey smell
The one that shortens your breaths
I felt sick
Sick knowing they're the only thing you have
They are your home
And I'm sorry.
Mar 20, 2014
Mar 20, 2014 at 12:51 AM UTC
I haven't figured out what's worse
Being in a room full of people
People I've known my whole life
People i love with all that I can give,
and feel like another brick in the wall
Watching
Isolated
Feeling out of my body
Floating further and further away
Or
Being alone in my room
Not knowing whether i want to
Punch a wall
Cry uncontrollably
Go for a run
Run away
Scream
I'm held captive
I haven't figured out which is worse
Because in either place
I'm still facing my anxiety
Alone.
Feb 7, 2014
Feb 7, 2014 at 10:34 PM UTC
two years today
she's still holding on
still pushing.
yeah, she slips
but I have never known her to not get right back up
and two years ago
you got back up
and you stood so strong
I don't know what its like to lose a father,
I was so worried, so scared.
two whole years
and I can picture it like yesterday
the irony of it all.
that day I said "isn't it weird that we will probably never remember today?"
I will never forget.
and I will never stop holding you up
and I will always be a step behind to catch you when you fall
I love you d.
Jan 28, 2014
Jan 28, 2014 at 11:22 PM UTC
You once said "you're a slow kisser"
Followed by you making a move and throwing in "remember to kiss faster this time."
Knowing you was a constant battle.
With your double edged swords,
You came flying through with sweet words. Piercing any doubts I had of myself.
And then slashing any confidence I built up on your way out.
You changed the way I viewed people.
I questioned everything, everyone.
Every line spewed from a mouth.
Endless time has gone by and I finally caught my footing.
But once again sweeping me off my feet and
Only to return to the mercy of that sword.
Last night you said :
"I'm in love with her. I really am. I love her. She kisses slowly. Every time I kiss her, I think of you. I don't know where I'd be without her."
That one,
slashed right through my heart.
Jan 17, 2014
Jan 17, 2014 at 2:46 AM UTC
This isn't a testimony of love,
Or a confession of feelings.
Because the love I have for you
Is the same the tides hold with the moon.
I'll push and pull however you need me to.
Whatever it takes for you to be happy.
But you looked at me as you longed for the sun,
And I could see her reflection in your eyes.
I could feel you praying for her warmth, aching for her glow.
If the moon could cry,
I would create new oceans.
I'm sorry I can't be her.
I can't be your sun.
This isn't a testimony of love,
Or a confession of feelings.
Because my love for you is the same the leaves hold with the seasons.
You shower me and I play in your light.
Each day gets brighter and our time feels eternal.
But then, slowly,
You fade.
Things change and I hold on for dear life.
I don't want to lose you.
Your cold.
And you've found someone new.
I know you'll be back.
You always come back.
I can't wait forever for rain.
I can't keep falling.
This isn't a testimony of love.
Or a confession of feelings.
Because loving you is the same as rereading my favorite book.
I still get lost in the pages,
But I at least now know where it ends.
Jan 17, 2014
Jan 17, 2014 at 2:17 AM UTC
I have seen you once in 365 days.
we rarely speak,
but I would be lying if I said I haven't thought of you.
or gone back three years and set up camp in my mind.
retracing our very being
I can hear us laughing,
see us crying.
I can feel those nights spent in silence
just me crying.
the frustration, anger
helpless, anxiety
because of how much you meant to me
but not I to you.
did I ever?
I don't think I will ever know.
and for how it all changed
too quickly for me to grab hold.
I spiraled
down.
and I hit hard.
but I still see your smile
and I still feel mine.
and if we never meet again
just know that I may not ever love you
but I always will.
Jun 11, 2013
Jun 11, 2013 at 11:22 PM UTC
Jagged edges , sharp turns
and screeching halts.
what a build up.
impatient for the explosion,
yet trudging on.
waiting.
hoping for that silver lining,
a moment to breathe
gone too soon
heaving, grasping, panting.
more turns, and sharper edges.
like a lead foot on an open road
faster, faster
too fast
losing control
trying to find something to hold on to.
someone.
but nothing,
no one.
you scream
louder, harder
tears pouring.
hands clenched
heart pounding.
there's no stopping.
you let it take over.
faster, faster.
you can see it.
too fast.
the end of the..
Jun 11, 2013
Jun 11, 2013 at 10:57 PM UTC
I wish you knew what lies behind these eyes
what sort of hidden meaning they behold
what they are trying to convey
how they scream at you to hear them
but know you will never listen
asking to break down the walls
and fight away the fear
to bring me close with
every intention of holding on forever
more so often these eyes
are of a questioning matter
and with questions come unwanted answers
or none at all
the thing that kills is
not knowing which is worse
these eyes fear rejection but much more
the unknown
because they do not know and are completely scared
that what lies behind these eyes is not
what lies behind yours.
Dec 27, 2012
Dec 27, 2012 at 6:01 PM UTC