amanda-niemann - Hello Poetry

not depressed just sad i can admire the beautiful things i can smile and feel happy but when i'm alone i feel incredibly and abnormally alone the worst is when i'm with people yet i still feel so alone i cry at night after the day is done when the sun goes down when the stars are shown i can't help it i'm not depressed just sad maybe not lonely just alone

0

Dec 14, 2016

Dec 14, 2016 at 2:45 PM UTC

sad

not depressed just sad i can admire the beautiful things i can smile and feel happy but when i'm alone i feel incredibly and abnormally alone the worst is when i'm with people yet i still feel so alone i cry at night after the day is done when the sun goes down when the stars are shown i can't help it i'm not depressed just sad maybe not lonely just alone

26

3:06 in the morning i woke up unable to catch my breath i could hear my heart pounding through my chest it was just a dream so why wouldn't my heart stop racing why did it feel like i was being chased like there was no end to this race i don't remember starting one i heard the beating of my heart it was running a mile a minute i tried to make it stop but my heart wouldn't quit deep breaths slow deep breaths still racing still uncontrollable maybe still horrified but of what i couldn't recall

0

Dec 11, 2016

Dec 11, 2016 at 3:53 PM UTC

nightmares

3:06 in the morning i woke up unable to catch my breath i could hear my heart pounding through my chest it was just a dream so why wouldn't my heart stop racing why did it feel like i was being chased like there was no end to this race i don't remember starting one i heard the beating of my heart it was running a mile a minute i tried to make it stop but my heart wouldn't quit deep breaths slow deep breaths still racing still uncontrollable maybe still horrified but of what i couldn't recall

25

it's hard to hold on and it's getting harder i'm not sure if i can hold on much longer sometimes i wish i was stronger but all i can do is hang on and fight a little harder

0

Dec 11, 2016

Dec 11, 2016 at 12:45 AM UTC

harder

it's hard to hold on and it's getting harder i'm not sure if i can hold on much longer sometimes i wish i was stronger but all i can do is hang on and fight a little harder

13

i looked at her for a while she isn't the same person i knew a year ago wears a little more makeup lost too much weight dresses to impress stays up extra late talking to her lover depriving herself of sleep scared of closing her eyes scared of nightmares too deep doesn't have as many friends though it may appear she has more a different person inside than out constantly fighting an internal war after staring at her and thinking about who she was and who she is now i walked away from the mirror and put the pills down

0

Dec 10, 2016

Dec 10, 2016 at 3:07 PM UTC

stranger

i looked at her for a while she isn't the same person i knew a year ago wears a little more makeup lost too much weight dresses to impress stays up extra late talking to her lover depriving herself of sleep scared of closing her eyes scared of nightmares too deep doesn't have as many friends though it may appear she has more a different person inside than out constantly fighting an internal war after staring at her and thinking about who she was and who she is now i walked away from the mirror and put the pills down

20

started off with a pen and a pad thought it would just be a fad scribbling down my thoughts writing is where i get lost started off with some ideas thought they would eventually end scribbling down my feelings writing became my new trend started off a beginner thought i would be a quitter scribbling my thoughts of depression writing soon became my obsession

0

Dec 9, 2016

Dec 9, 2016 at 11:58 PM UTC

scribbles

started off with a pen and a pad thought it would just be a fad scribbling down my thoughts writing is where i get lost started off with some ideas thought they would eventually end scribbling down my feelings writing became my new trend started off a beginner thought i would be a quitter scribbling my thoughts of depression writing soon became my obsession

12

have you ever thought about how you could just end it all all of the stress the pain the grief the misery have you ever thought of how how you could end it all with the least amount of pain the least amount of suffering just pop a few extra pills let them take over your body without you even noticing until all of a sudden your legs go limp and your vision goes dark and you get dizzy and suddenly you're too weak to stand and you're lying on the floor unable to move your organs shut down and you hear yelling from across the house someone yelling to stop all you hear is the sound of feet hitting the floor at a hard rapid pace getting louder and louder then you hear a high pitched sound and it doesn't stop it keeps going like a heart monitor after a heart stops but it's too late too late to stop too late to turn back too late to change your mind and suddenly everything goes black it's all over after all, this is what you wanted right?

0

Dec 8, 2016

Dec 8, 2016 at 8:42 AM UTC

pills

have you ever thought about how you could just end it all all of the stress the pain the grief the misery have you ever thought of how how you could end it all with the least amount of pain the least amount of suffering just pop a few extra pills let them take over your body without you even noticing until all of a sudden your legs go limp and your vision goes dark and you get dizzy and suddenly you're too weak to stand and you're lying on the floor unable to move your organs shut down and you hear yelling from across the house someone yelling to stop all you hear is the sound of feet hitting the floor at a hard rapid pace getting louder and louder then you hear a high pitched sound and it doesn't stop it keeps going like a heart monitor after a heart stops but it's too late too late to stop too late to turn back too late to change your mind and suddenly everything goes black it's all over after all, this is what you wanted right?

41

the constant daily reminder of what i have to live for your face the only thing that keeps me here it's a curse. when i think there is nothing left to live for that there is nothing left i love your face burns in my mind it drives me insane when all i want is to be nothing you refuse to leave my brain you stay there until i decide i too should stay you make me want to live to see another day and for that i am grateful yet filled with hate little do you know you're saving me yet keeping me in the world i was trying to escape

0

Dec 7, 2016

Dec 7, 2016 at 7:55 PM UTC

curse of love

the constant daily reminder of what i have to live for your face the only thing that keeps me here it's a curse. when i think there is nothing left to live for that there is nothing left i love your face burns in my mind it drives me insane when all i want is to be nothing you refuse to leave my brain you stay there until i decide i too should stay you make me want to live to see another day and for that i am grateful yet filled with hate little do you know you're saving me yet keeping me in the world i was trying to escape

23

just when i feel as though i can't breathe as though i'm about to fall as though i've hit rock bottom the impossible happens things get worse the weight on my shoulders it gets heavier my palms they get sweatier my grip loosens i can't hold on much longer yet some how i'm still holding on still fighting trying to be strong

0

Dec 6, 2016

Dec 6, 2016 at 6:49 AM UTC

slipping

just when i feel as though i can't breathe as though i'm about to fall as though i've hit rock bottom the impossible happens things get worse the weight on my shoulders it gets heavier my palms they get sweatier my grip loosens i can't hold on much longer yet some how i'm still holding on still fighting trying to be strong

16

i promise you you'll make it through you've got a whole life ahead of you don't let it go to waste you've got a bright future and a beautiful face don't end it all because you want one phase to end keep fighting and push through you'll make it out alive good as new

0

Dec 5, 2016

Dec 5, 2016 at 5:51 PM UTC

keep fighting

i promise you you'll make it through you've got a whole life ahead of you don't let it go to waste you've got a bright future and a beautiful face don't end it all because you want one phase to end keep fighting and push through you'll make it out alive good as new

15

i can do it i give up things will get better why do i bother just keep fighting there is nothing left to fight for i can win this battle but i've already lost the games in my head play over again and again they never end i wish they would never ending battles play in my mind constant headaches will **** me over time trying to pull myself back up back onto the ledge wondering if the struggle if it's worth it or if i should just let go would it be better in the end?

0

Dec 5, 2016

Dec 5, 2016 at 1:56 PM UTC

headaches

i can do it i give up things will get better why do i bother just keep fighting there is nothing left to fight for i can win this battle but i've already lost the games in my head play over again and again they never end i wish they would never ending battles play in my mind constant headaches will **** me over time trying to pull myself back up back onto the ledge wondering if the struggle if it's worth it or if i should just let go would it be better in the end?

23