amanda-lynn-carter
American
I started writing poetry at age 13 after breaking up with my first boyfriend. I have written hundreds by now, a few of which have been published. I am an avid facebook user. If you would like to know more about me, please check out my facebook page (it's public) @ www.facebook.com/MandyLynn1983 or going to facebook and searching for 'Mandy Lynn Carter'. I am always looking for new friends!
By: Amanda Lynn Carter
3/17/15
Inspired by: JWF
Alone again,
Though really it's still
I never had you
And I never will
You're not even real,
Just a wish and a dream
I only saw
What I wanted it seems
You're not who I thought
You aren't what I need
But I still love you
And want you with me
Not that it matters,
You've made it clear
To you I'm a friend,
Not someone more dear
You enjoy my company,
In and out of bed,
But any more than that
Has just been in my head
And in my heart
Where you've taken a place
When I think of love
I now see your face
I fell in-love,
And I'm falling back out,
But it's a long painful journey;
A difficult route
So please be gentle
As I grieve for you;
For the loss of a dream
That will never come true
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 2:28 PM UTC
At night I cry myself to sleep
And pray that I forget him
All day through I masquerade
As if I don't still miss him
I think about him every night
And tears roll down my cheek
He left without so much as goodbye
Someone else's love to seek
He said he'd love me forever
Well that didn't last very long
We'd never split he told me
I guess he told me wrong
What happened to all those promises
He made along the way?
To love and cherish and hold me
And by my side to stay?
They're broken now; just like my heart
With pieces scattered around
He told me so many beautiful things
But he lied a lot I've found
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 27, 2014 at 3:03 PM UTC
Worthless, useless
Helpless, alone
Uncared-for, forgotten
Unwanted, unknown
A burden, an anchor
A cross to bear
A big obligation
You wish wasn’t there
That’s all that I am
And all I can be
I can’t pull my weight
Or make you love me
A weight on your chest
Not letting you breathe
A cloud full of rain
That you just want to leave
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 27, 2014 at 4:04 AM UTC
Most people don’t notice
As I’m sinking down
Some say “Cheer up!”
Wow! I’m all better now
Thanks for the help
I’m glad you were here
I’m no longer sad
You've filled me with cheer
Is that what they think?
That’s all that it takes?
They tell me “cheer up”
And my heart no longer aches?
I wish it were that simple
A magical cure
Everything is better
After hearing those two words
But really nothing’s better
If just proves that you don’t understand
You've always stood on solid ground
But I’m sinking in quicksand
Now I’m sinking faster
Your words cut to the bone
I know it wasn't your intent
But you made me feel more alone
You say “cheer up”
Why didn't I think of that?
I guess you think
I want to feel this bad
Or else you think I’m stupid
Why else would I be so sad?
If being happy were so easy
Wouldn't everyone be glad?
So next time please think
Before you say “cheer up”
If someone’s already sad
It could make them just give up
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 27, 2014 at 3:58 AM UTC
There’s no one to hold me
To tell me “It’ll be alright”
No one to love me
Or to kiss me goodnight
I’m always alone
With no one to care
Longing for someone
Who isn’t there
Wishing for love
On every star
Looking for comfort
From near or far
Hoping for someone
Who will honestly care
Waiting for someone
Who will always be there
Wanting to love
And be loved just the same
For someone to know me
Not just my name
Longing and searching
In vain so it seems
Only ever finding love
In my dreams
Am I destined
To be alone?
To wonder through life
Unloved and unknown?
So hungry for love
Someone to call mine
Desperately hoping
For some kind of sign
Something to tell me
He’s on his way
He’s searching for me
And he’ll find me one day
That someone will love me
That someone will care
That I won’t be alone
That he will be there
Waiting and hoping
For it to be true
I guess for now
That’s all I can do
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 27, 2014 at 3:55 AM UTC
Anger takes over
I’m out of control
Righting an injustice
My only goal
I’m not thinking straight
I’m acting dumb
My heart’s so impassioned
That my brain is numb
Fighting for vengeance
With a righteous wrath
Anger has blinded me
To any other path
Not thinking it through
I’m not being smart
I’m not using my brain
Just following my heart
There will be a price
I’ll have to pay
But I’m too angry
To care today
I’m not in control
Just along for the ride
Driven by Anger
With Right on my side
What’s right and what’s smart
Aren’t always the same
‘Cause life isn’t fair
And victims get blamed
It isn’t right
But you can’t change the facts
Sometimes you shouldn’t
Fight back when attacked
I’ll have to pay
For my actions today
My fault or not
I’ll pay either way
Losing control
Always costs quite a lot
Whether you’re right
Or whether you’re not
So fight for control
Hold onto the wheel
Try to steer straight
However you feel
‘Cause if you don’t
It’s you that will pay
For letting control
Of the wheel get away
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 27, 2014 at 3:54 AM UTC
Lonely and lost
In a world full of fears
I cry and call out
But nobody hears
Or else they don’t care
Which is even worse
People don’t tell you
But apathy hurts
So I sit and I cry
My eyes full of tears
Lost and helpless
Alone with my fears
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 27, 2014 at 3:50 AM UTC
I’ve pleaded for death
For my life to be done
I’ve called for the reaper
But he hasn’t come
I’m afraid to die
I’m scared it will hurt
But life hurts so much
It can’t be much worse
Then it will be over
The pain and the stress
The longing and sadness
And deep loneliness
I wish that my parents
Hadn’t had me
That I’d never been born
And that I wasn’t me
I’m tired of trying
And giving my all
Of doing my best
Only to fall
I’m tired of loving
With my heart on my sleeve
Of being reminded
That everyone leaves
I don’t want to die
But I’m sick of life
It’s a double-edged blade
On a big scary knife
Both choices ****
Either way I lose
Nothing is easy
Whichever I choose
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 27, 2014 at 3:46 AM UTC
She took her love
Away from me
Something I thought
I’d never see
She stopped loving me
And I don’t know why
Now all that’s left
Is to sit and cry
She broke my heart
When she left that day
I thought she’d never
Go away
She was there for me
For thirty years
To share my smiles
And dry my tears
Then she turned away
And walked out the door
And nothing’s the same
As it was before
Without her love
I feel incomplete
A jigsaw puzzle
With a missing piece
She was there all my life
Through good and through bad
Now she’s disappeared
And it makes me so sad
Hurt and confused
And wondering why
She left without
Even saying goodbye
I loved her so much
All these years
Now all that’s left
Are memories and tears
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 27, 2014 at 3:45 AM UTC
It’s him that I want
Though Heaven knows why
He’s not all that different
From those other guys
What makes him so special?
What makes me yearn?
Well that’s a secret
I’ve yet to learn
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 27, 2014 at 3:44 AM UTC