alyssa-spungen - Hello Poetry

staring into blue and green bigness lost in the sky of her soul repeating the nightmarish nothingness feeling this emotion has left me immobile she's big and blinks and breathes on her own and she moves when i move but this girl who is just a body bag is not me can't be me was never me however the trance has come to an end and i've blinked and i've realized the only difference between the mirror and me is that i can think and i am alive and breathing and blinking and crying but you, the reflection, has no soul

0

Mar 15, 2010

Mar 15, 2010 at 11:38 AM UTC

Have you ever stared into a mirror for way too long?

staring into blue and green bigness lost in the sky of her soul repeating the nightmarish nothingness feeling this emotion has left me immobile she's big and blinks and breathes on her own and she moves when i move but this girl who is just a body bag is not me can't be me was never me however the trance has come to an end and i've blinked and i've realized the only difference between the mirror and me is that i can think and i am alive and breathing and blinking and crying but you, the reflection, has no soul

18

Her head a cloak of messy stars Held high amongst the loveless Queen of the tortured Ring in your dead horses Yesterday burnt edges of lace and pearls Drape death’s bone structure upon your face Happiness; a vow you gave on your living days Sugar-covered strawberries; promises lost The death gallop with a wave of her hand Blink the good fight tear my pearls No longer hungry eat my words A vortex you’ve fallen into dead bride A final shower of bones and velvet You’ve waited so long to reach the bottom Laugh at the darkness Long ago the same charade Except blood was pumping Honey, stop scraping your knees Stop crying The light will be at the bottom as long as you’ve had a memorable time getting there

0

Mar 15, 2010

Mar 15, 2010 at 9:17 AM UTC

Gaunt

Her head a cloak of messy stars Held high amongst the loveless Queen of the tortured Ring in your dead horses Yesterday burnt edges of lace and pearls Drape death’s bone structure upon your face Happiness; a vow you gave on your living days Sugar-covered strawberries; promises lost The death gallop with a wave of her hand Blink the good fight tear my pearls No longer hungry eat my words A vortex you’ve fallen into dead bride A final shower of bones and velvet You’ve waited so long to reach the bottom Laugh at the darkness Long ago the same charade Except blood was pumping Honey, stop scraping your knees Stop crying The light will be at the bottom as long as you’ve had a memorable time getting there

20

This is your life as a performance. Light on. It’s the horseshoe necklace tickling your neck. And rhythm in between steps. Like tomorrow could die if we sidestep the question mark. You say “hold your breath.” “What about your future?” You say, “ That’s irresponsible. Sit in a giant box covered with lies.” “Shut up play thing. I need to work. You need to work.” Full of something else- We are all full of something else. Bones. Blood. Grandma’s Belgian waffles Freak show? “I’m stuck.” Jack screamed but the child Shut down the headphones. Inside the circus. Wait until he’s let you out! Poor Jack. Here it comes. Wind up the velocity. Elongate your stride. Jibber my jabber. Here comes Jack. And she baked cookies with your initials on top Your name happens to be “Untitled” So there’s a giant question mark. Full of dough and sugar. It tasted like Jack’s defecation. Delicious is mutilation. The East cries at night for the attention of vapor. See the beautiful sunset bleeding into itself. See the orange sky because Of cans soot and damage. The sunset smacks the horizon. See the orange sky because they wouldn’t call you back- Chained to a tree out west. The transition will arrive. Like an annoying child sitting between our see saw We won’t go anywhere. Until they leave and SMACK. I’ve made it ‘round the curve. But I threw up a little syrup. “Shoot for the dot.” And SMACK me harder. And SMACK the shoes. And SMACK those beating bleeding blood bags. But don’t smack your gum. Wrap yourself in pearls but put your ***** feet into heels. Give me something that’s dreadfully whimsical. Jack has made it out alive. With a smile. But the little boy hears his cry. Grasping for life- Shut tight. Light off.

0

Mar 15, 2010

Mar 15, 2010 at 9:16 AM UTC

Jack Rhymes With So Many Things

This is your life as a performance. Light on. It’s the horseshoe necklace tickling your neck. And rhythm in between steps. Like tomorrow could die if we sidestep the question mark. You say “hold your breath.” “What about your future?” You say, “ That’s irresponsible. Sit in a giant box covered with lies.” “Shut up play thing. I need to work. You need to work.” Full of something else- We are all full of something else. Bones. Blood. Grandma’s Belgian waffles Freak show? “I’m stuck.” Jack screamed but the child Shut down the headphones. Inside the circus. Wait until he’s let you out! Poor Jack. Here it comes. Wind up the velocity. Elongate your stride. Jibber my jabber. Here comes Jack. And she baked cookies with your initials on top Your name happens to be “Untitled” So there’s a giant question mark. Full of dough and sugar. It tasted like Jack’s defecation. Delicious is mutilation. The East cries at night for the attention of vapor. See the beautiful sunset bleeding into itself. See the orange sky because Of cans soot and damage. The sunset smacks the horizon. See the orange sky because they wouldn’t call you back- Chained to a tree out west. The transition will arrive. Like an annoying child sitting between our see saw We won’t go anywhere. Until they leave and SMACK. I’ve made it ‘round the curve. But I threw up a little syrup. “Shoot for the dot.” And SMACK me harder. And SMACK the shoes. And SMACK those beating bleeding blood bags. But don’t smack your gum. Wrap yourself in pearls but put your ***** feet into heels. Give me something that’s dreadfully whimsical. Jack has made it out alive. With a smile. But the little boy hears his cry. Grasping for life- Shut tight. Light off.

57

I discovered roller coasters for the first time after I saw my therapist She told me I had OCD, DID, ADD, and an eating disorder She told me to keep it simple and stop trying to please others I told her to set herself on fire I decide to take my damaged ass to an amusement park and tell the drive I’m allowed I’m 5’4 You’re a ***** I spit on him and jump into the car I defy gravity by myself on this tipsy turvy future mobile I go up and into space and ride through clichés until my overalls Snap off and set me free where I float without medication Snap out of it, you hairy **** You never know how it feels to lose control until you’ve lost all control She never Knew With the giant pebbles and water cascading downwards in a freefall And the terrible feng shui that parts her massive thighs point my eyes into her pant stain while my entire head falls down for the bottom A sick endless cycle of torture just like the Mexican chanting annual melodies …at a Tucson establishment …sitting on truck tables at the doctor’s office …cutting off DNA into style …fighting off fever with drive by flu shots So I count to 5 while I make hot cocoa And tap the doorway I try on 4 different pairs of pants eat an entire bag of Cheetos and throw up It’s all situational and relative and ridiculous I don’t care if some 14 year old wears orange lipstick and ***** off her math teacher Tell me Doctor what’s the diagnosis for my sick bluish foot Oh you’re right I guess I do need to vacate the premises The Land of the Lepers exists and we have renamed it “America”

0

Mar 11, 2010

Mar 11, 2010 at 10:57 AM UTC

But How does that make you feel?

I discovered roller coasters for the first time after I saw my therapist She told me I had OCD, DID, ADD, and an eating disorder She told me to keep it simple and stop trying to please others I told her to set herself on fire I decide to take my damaged ass to an amusement park and tell the drive I’m allowed I’m 5’4 You’re a ***** I spit on him and jump into the car I defy gravity by myself on this tipsy turvy future mobile I go up and into space and ride through clichés until my overalls Snap off and set me free where I float without medication Snap out of it, you hairy **** You never know how it feels to lose control until you’ve lost all control She never Knew With the giant pebbles and water cascading downwards in a freefall And the terrible feng shui that parts her massive thighs point my eyes into her pant stain while my entire head falls down for the bottom A sick endless cycle of torture just like the Mexican chanting annual melodies …at a Tucson establishment …sitting on truck tables at the doctor’s office …cutting off DNA into style …fighting off fever with drive by flu shots So I count to 5 while I make hot cocoa And tap the doorway I try on 4 different pairs of pants eat an entire bag of Cheetos and throw up It’s all situational and relative and ridiculous I don’t care if some 14 year old wears orange lipstick and ***** off her math teacher Tell me Doctor what’s the diagnosis for my sick bluish foot Oh you’re right I guess I do need to vacate the premises The Land of the Lepers exists and we have renamed it “America”

32