alixx-trixx - Hello Poetry

I thought we were fine... I don't understand... Why are you leaving? I have to start over again... I have to try and connect again... Where do I go from here? I don't want to start again

0

Jul 20, 2019

Jul 20, 2019 at 1:28 PM UTC

Here we go again...

I thought we were fine... I don't understand... Why are you leaving? I have to start over again... I have to try and connect again... Where do I go from here? I don't want to start again

7

I hate him I hate him And you know what else.... I hate him! I waited I was patient I was there everytime he called I made him laugh after not wanting to I made him comfortable after the wreck I opened myself up to him I let him treat me as if we were in love I told him my feelings had surpassed I waited I gave him space I tried He lied He changed his mind He found something "better" He droped me flat on my face After I was on a cloud of enjoyment And now he cries to me He comes back when things are wrong He talks to me when he is stressed He jokes about seeing me soon But he's still not mine I am forgotten and unwanted I am alone While he thrives with her After I put in the work He still choose her And I will always be pushed away I will still be in pain I will still crave him I will still be alone

0

Nov 16, 2018

Nov 16, 2018 at 8:35 PM UTC

Give Up

I hate him I hate him And you know what else.... I hate him! I waited I was patient I was there everytime he called I made him laugh after not wanting to I made him comfortable after the wreck I opened myself up to him I let him treat me as if we were in love I told him my feelings had surpassed I waited I gave him space I tried He lied He changed his mind He found something "better" He droped me flat on my face After I was on a cloud of enjoyment And now he cries to me He comes back when things are wrong He talks to me when he is stressed He jokes about seeing me soon But he's still not mine I am forgotten and unwanted I am alone While he thrives with her After I put in the work He still choose her And I will always be pushed away I will still be in pain I will still crave him I will still be alone

34

Tossing and turning Why are you leaving I know you choose this but. We just started You finally admitted I was enough But now here we are You are leaving and Not even you know when For how long neither of us are sure I won't be able to hold you I won't be able to be there Now it takes an hour to drive to you But soon it may take hours to fly Or I may not even get to be near you I know it's your job I know you want this I know you say you're not nervous But I feel like you're hiding You're not telling me everything Please don't leave me I'm breaking inside a lit... No a lot We finally got close and now you're leaving Stay safe Come home to me Please don't forget me I love having you in my life You give me a high that's better than any drug Just be safe and come home

0

Sep 18, 2018

Sep 18, 2018 at 10:17 PM UTC

I'm going to miss you

Tossing and turning Why are you leaving I know you choose this but. We just started You finally admitted I was enough But now here we are You are leaving and Not even you know when For how long neither of us are sure I won't be able to hold you I won't be able to be there Now it takes an hour to drive to you But soon it may take hours to fly Or I may not even get to be near you I know it's your job I know you want this I know you say you're not nervous But I feel like you're hiding You're not telling me everything Please don't leave me I'm breaking inside a lit... No a lot We finally got close and now you're leaving Stay safe Come home to me Please don't forget me I love having you in my life You give me a high that's better than any drug Just be safe and come home

30

If I just let my mind wander It brings a sense of peace in a time full of chaos It is the end of the semester and big projects are becoming eminent But here I am Have not begun to start on them Need rough drafts due next week but Don’t know where to even start If i ask for help will I be looked down on? Probably not But why is it so hard to ask for help Is it because I’ve always had to be self-reliant? At one point does someone learn to ask for help The problem being I don’t even know what I need help with Thoughts of ending life are at the back of my mind But I have so much I can learn still How do you quiet down the voices in your head Maybe there is a reason that I need to ask for help How did I get here? So far behind in everything feeling inadequate Wondering if there is a place to rebuild myself Would talking to a counselor help? Honestly what can they do besides tell me to stop Stop working so much Focus on school It’s not that easy I need a living to survive I need income to maintain Maintain my bills My accounts are all at zero Zero how I feel about myself

0

Nov 15, 2017

Nov 15, 2017 at 1:47 PM UTC

how low does it get

If I just let my mind wander It brings a sense of peace in a time full of chaos It is the end of the semester and big projects are becoming eminent But here I am Have not begun to start on them Need rough drafts due next week but Don’t know where to even start If i ask for help will I be looked down on? Probably not But why is it so hard to ask for help Is it because I’ve always had to be self-reliant? At one point does someone learn to ask for help The problem being I don’t even know what I need help with Thoughts of ending life are at the back of my mind But I have so much I can learn still How do you quiet down the voices in your head Maybe there is a reason that I need to ask for help How did I get here? So far behind in everything feeling inadequate Wondering if there is a place to rebuild myself Would talking to a counselor help? Honestly what can they do besides tell me to stop Stop working so much Focus on school It’s not that easy I need a living to survive I need income to maintain Maintain my bills My accounts are all at zero Zero how I feel about myself

31

I’m not sure if i’m broken enough yet I’m not sure if i can take this pain anymore Is it ok that i want to quit? Is it ok that i am past my breaking point? What is freedom Is it actually when you have the ability to be alone? Is it where you have time to breath? Why can’t you see it All i want to do is sleep All i want is to be done Would a blade help No I don’t need that anymore Im passed that No more scars on my wrist… Legs.. Or hips.. Only a few have seen the scars i’ve left on me Is it ok to cry No no crying no time for that What about breathing normally Nope get back to work Can i run away and hide No need to focus just focus Does anyone understand This internal battle Surviving and living are they the same thing Does not feel like it is Just 5 min No stay awake Keep moving You’re not good enough Keep going Just a quick breath No you’re not fast enough Go faster Stop tripping Keep going I can’t There’s no excuses Keep moving You’re not enough You will never be enough

0

Nov 8, 2017

Nov 8, 2017 at 1:30 PM UTC

Internal battle

I’m not sure if i’m broken enough yet I’m not sure if i can take this pain anymore Is it ok that i want to quit? Is it ok that i am past my breaking point? What is freedom Is it actually when you have the ability to be alone? Is it where you have time to breath? Why can’t you see it All i want to do is sleep All i want is to be done Would a blade help No I don’t need that anymore Im passed that No more scars on my wrist… Legs.. Or hips.. Only a few have seen the scars i’ve left on me Is it ok to cry No no crying no time for that What about breathing normally Nope get back to work Can i run away and hide No need to focus just focus Does anyone understand This internal battle Surviving and living are they the same thing Does not feel like it is Just 5 min No stay awake Keep moving You’re not good enough Keep going Just a quick breath No you’re not fast enough Go faster Stop tripping Keep going I can’t There’s no excuses Keep moving You’re not enough You will never be enough

43

I'm drowning I can't breath My chest is tight The last breath I have Its fading fast Why did I agree to this I need some one to Save me I don't like asking But I need help Drowning It feels worse than Being physically injured Not drowning from Regret Fear Or wanting redemption Drowning from the sheer feeling of not being good enough Not being able to play happy And no longer able to hold it all in I can't breath I can't find the will to fight I need help Where are you?

0

May 5, 2016

May 5, 2016 at 12:23 AM UTC

Drowning

I'm drowning I can't breath My chest is tight The last breath I have Its fading fast Why did I agree to this I need some one to Save me I don't like asking But I need help Drowning It feels worse than Being physically injured Not drowning from Regret Fear Or wanting redemption Drowning from the sheer feeling of not being good enough Not being able to play happy And no longer able to hold it all in I can't breath I can't find the will to fight I need help Where are you?

25

I don't understand How can I still feel like this I thought I was over you I've been fighting to get over you You are like my best friend All I want is to be in your arms again But I can't I think you're moving on And Everytime I see you communicating with those other people I die a lot inside I'm hurting and wish I was able to just Disappear

0

Apr 8, 2016

Apr 8, 2016 at 12:11 AM UTC

Its not fair

I don't understand How can I still feel like this I thought I was over you I've been fighting to get over you You are like my best friend All I want is to be in your arms again But I can't I think you're moving on And Everytime I see you communicating with those other people I die a lot inside I'm hurting and wish I was able to just Disappear

13

I miss you I miss the connection Without it I feel like I can't breath You were... (are) All I wanted.... (want) Why did you have to end it We didn't even have a fight You just ended it and left me Struggling for air Needing a new home Unprotected Hurting Come back to me Please I need you Even though you don't Need.... (want) me anymore

0

Jul 11, 2015

Jul 11, 2015 at 1:40 AM UTC

HEARTLESS

I miss you I miss the connection Without it I feel like I can't breath You were... (are) All I wanted.... (want) Why did you have to end it We didn't even have a fight You just ended it and left me Struggling for air Needing a new home Unprotected Hurting Come back to me Please I need you Even though you don't Need.... (want) me anymore

19

Every scar has a story Every drop of ink has a purpose I don't find them repulsive They deserve pride I earned every scar I inflicted some And others we're created The hours under a needle Worth every second My tattoo all have meanings They may not be apparent to you But they are to me I have a ***** in my armour Maybe more than one But I never said I was perfect If you ask me I'm a basket case Certifiably insane But every scar has a story And very ounce of ink Was worth trying to tell My story

0

Jul 5, 2015

Jul 5, 2015 at 12:15 AM UTC

Imperfections

Every scar has a story Every drop of ink has a purpose I don't find them repulsive They deserve pride I earned every scar I inflicted some And others we're created The hours under a needle Worth every second My tattoo all have meanings They may not be apparent to you But they are to me I have a ***** in my armour Maybe more than one But I never said I was perfect If you ask me I'm a basket case Certifiably insane But every scar has a story And very ounce of ink Was worth trying to tell My story

23

Can someone free me? Can anyone hear the sobs from deep inside me? I'm tired of feeling alone even when surrounded by people I'm tired of being judged I'm just tired of everything Love only exists for lucky people Luck is only granted to those who deserve it

0

Sep 14, 2014

Sep 14, 2014 at 1:52 AM UTC

i dont even know

Can someone free me? Can anyone hear the sobs from deep inside me? I'm tired of feeling alone even when surrounded by people I'm tired of being judged I'm just tired of everything Love only exists for lucky people Luck is only granted to those who deserve it

7