And then you changed
With each passing day I saw you in
A different light.
But I didn't mind
Because I knew I was just starting
To see you clearly.
Nov 12, 2016
Nov 12, 2016 at 1:22 AM UTC
All of those words
On repeat in my head.
On repeat in my head.
On repeat in my head.
On repeat in my head.
Again and again
And again.
My mouth is a music box,
But my mind is a broken record.
Sep 28, 2016
Sep 28, 2016 at 11:58 PM UTC
It may be true that we’re
All sitting on death row
Mistaking temporary ripples
For permanence.
But life doesn't touch you
Because
Your eyes are portals into eternity,
And your smile is a wormhole into
Polaroid moments, taking place in
A timeless spaceless plane where
We are infinite.
No wonder the demons are jealous.
Aug 19, 2016
Aug 19, 2016 at 10:34 PM UTC
Maybe you can't feel the skin
On your palms
But they are wrapped around your own throat,
Ivy chocking your forest.
A colisascope of stars spinning
Webs in your branches.
Sometimes I forget where we were.
How close we got to the moon
Before you remembered your roots,
How it was to be held down.
But when I feel the wind
I still hope it reaches your leaves.
I still pray you can feel the
Movement in your body.
I know it seems like a broken drum
But your heart is beating songs large enough to move oceans.
Aug 19, 2016
Aug 19, 2016 at 10:31 PM UTC
The Sea World commercial
Tells me
Amazing and real only exist together
In one place.
They must have never met your eyes.
But after hearing about what
Happens
On the other side of the glass,
I can't help but think both
Are false advertisement.
Aug 15, 2016
Aug 15, 2016 at 8:28 PM UTC
Through the
Curtain.
Draping my faith on the walls like tapestries, hanging
Wishes on nails. Rooms filled with pipe dreams and hidden images.
Imagine watching you with that gleam in your eyes
I used to always love the way your eyes danced
Waltzing
Slow tones through my hair.
I know
The music turned sour in your mouth
You no longer wanted to dance.
I know
They always feared the melody wouldn't last long enough.
Showing you my wishes
Surgery open on tables with legs
Never strong enough to hold the weight.
Your legs
Your hands
Your bones were shaking the day you told me you relapsed.
I imagine
The way you complained about the glare of the sun in my room.
Too bright for your vision
Once your heart grew dim.
Jul 24, 2016
Jul 24, 2016 at 11:11 PM UTC
He told me that
Ivy bags never feel as good as shooting up,
Watching the needle slide into his arm.
Watching his liquid life drip from a
Plastic bag
Into the tube.
The first time he overdosed his friends were so scared
They left him to the dogs.
On the side of the road,
In a fit of rambling and cold sweat.
The sweat, everywhere
The cold was deeper in his bones.
The second time he was at his Mothers house.
She wanted so badly to see the little
Boy she once
Held to her breast.
But looked down on his shaking
Ashamed to not recognize the body at her feet.
By the third time
He had no one left.
They classified him as a lonely addict,
Addicted to several deadly drugs.
At some point he realized he wasn't going to have
The wake up moment.
He was never going to bounce back from this
Swallowing sleep
Consuming his life one second at a time.
Ticking away he is lost to the sound of the clock
He says the rhythm puts him to sleep
He told me ivy bags never felt as good as shooting up
But sometimes the clock in the hospital would break
And he could pretend
He didn't ever feel the time.
Jul 12, 2016
Jul 12, 2016 at 1:45 PM UTC
Six small shapes line
The inside of my heart shaped
Abyss.
I would call it an *****
But
My twisted view and
Clockwise soul led me in
The wrong direction
Towards darkness that knows
Nothing besides
Theft.
People tell me to
Let it go
As if it was my choice.
As if I tug at my skin
Like bait.
In reality
I tug at my skin
Afraid to feel it resting
On my bones.
This body was not my own
For three years,
I found my life
Laying flat, the
Thin line between
How do you dos, and *you
Are better off not knowing me*.
Somewhere on the sidelines of
Oregon
My lungs were found in salt.
My body was not my own
For long nights setting fire to the sky,
Before I could not breathe.
There was
Too much smoke.
But I finally have the room to inhale.
I finally have the will to take up space.
And I will not let myself fall apart.
Jul 12, 2016
Jul 12, 2016 at 1:36 PM UTC
Fire burns in your mind
You complain about the heat.
I would carry buckets of water
For thousands of miles,
Pray for storms
Just to bring you a cool
Breeze.
I would quiet the burns
Playing your favorite song
Every night.
But time and time again
I burned at the price of others.
I would care for you
But I sit in ruins.
My arms are ash not
Strong enough to lift.
My voice is smoke.
My piano teeth are bent and broken.
No melodies will come from my embers
But at least I can appreciate the warmth.
Jul 12, 2016
Jul 12, 2016 at 1:26 PM UTC
I slept in my pants last night.
Tears stained on my pillow like
The blood
On my hands.
I swept the mess of my life into your dustpan,
And wonder how many pieces may fall behind me.
I will never be able to clean them up,
If I am too afraid to look back.
I fell asleep in my shame,
Forgetting to take it to your dry cleaner.
You would wash out my skin and hang my soul to dry.
Carve your new colors into my palms.
Paint me new irises and maybe
I will fall asleep under new skys
Jun 7, 2016
Jun 7, 2016 at 1:09 PM UTC