alice-baker - Hello Poetry

Dear self, Tonight is hard. You are being flooded By intrusive memories, And your mind is muddled With self doubt and destruction. Vices beckon Like skeletons dressed as old friends And the emotional scars Sting just as much as the physical ones. Sweet girl, You are tracing old marks In your skin Please Do not repave them. Remember all the times like these? Consumed by darkness that Eclipses the sun itself. How many times have you crawled out Of the trenches? My darling dear, Do not doubt your resilience. We both know that Tomorrow will come And while I cannot promise it Will be brighter, It will still be new.

0

Mar 11, 2021

Mar 11, 2021 at 7:28 PM UTC

Tonight’s Tomorrow

Dear self, Tonight is hard. You are being flooded By intrusive memories, And your mind is muddled With self doubt and destruction. Vices beckon Like skeletons dressed as old friends And the emotional scars Sting just as much as the physical ones. Sweet girl, You are tracing old marks In your skin Please Do not repave them. Remember all the times like these? Consumed by darkness that Eclipses the sun itself. How many times have you crawled out Of the trenches? My darling dear, Do not doubt your resilience. We both know that Tomorrow will come And while I cannot promise it Will be brighter, It will still be new.

27

Is it weird that I still think of you? Its been nearly 3 years since we last spoke. I only knew you for 1 year and 2 months. But, when I think of everything we went through. When I think of all the lessons we both learned, how hard so many of them were, how long it took to heal from them... It’s hard not to wonder if you think of me too. I don’t miss you anymore, I havent for a long time. But I wonder.

0

Jul 20, 2018

Jul 20, 2018 at 3:30 AM UTC

Where are you?

Is it weird that I still think of you? Its been nearly 3 years since we last spoke. I only knew you for 1 year and 2 months. But, when I think of everything we went through. When I think of all the lessons we both learned, how hard so many of them were, how long it took to heal from them... It’s hard not to wonder if you think of me too. I don’t miss you anymore, I havent for a long time. But I wonder.

8

I’m not: Overwhelmed Knotted and gnarly Alive, regretfully Yearning

0

Jul 3, 2018

Jul 3, 2018 at 3:52 AM UTC

Small lie

I’m not: Overwhelmed Knotted and gnarly Alive, regretfully Yearning

5

I’ve hit a point where crashing no longer gives me whiplash. Collapsing is normal, bruises are common. I got lost alone in the woods at 3 am and prayed I wouldn't find my way back, I’ve been swinging on the ropes a little too long. My arms are tired. 24 years. 24 years. 24 years.

0

Jul 3, 2018

Jul 3, 2018 at 3:42 AM UTC

24

I’ve hit a point where crashing no longer gives me whiplash. Collapsing is normal, bruises are common. I got lost alone in the woods at 3 am and prayed I wouldn't find my way back, I’ve been swinging on the ropes a little too long. My arms are tired. 24 years. 24 years. 24 years.

5

I am empty Yet so full All at once.

0

Dec 8, 2017

Dec 8, 2017 at 5:55 PM UTC

Pressure

I am empty Yet so full All at once.

3

Our eyes met Like magnets Drawn in from a distance. The way the beam from a lighthouse Draws the attention of sailors. Your gaze was instantly familiar Like waking up to the smell of coffee Or coming home from a storm. Simultaneously bringing bright flashes Of welcoming warmth and excitement.

0

Mar 17, 2017

Mar 17, 2017 at 1:53 AM UTC

Soft Eyes

Our eyes met Like magnets Drawn in from a distance. The way the beam from a lighthouse Draws the attention of sailors. Your gaze was instantly familiar Like waking up to the smell of coffee Or coming home from a storm. Simultaneously bringing bright flashes Of welcoming warmth and excitement.

10

I knock on the door, shaking. They answer, tell me to come in. "I am not my self" I say. "That's okay" they say. I hesitate, brace for impact. "Its okay" they say. I stumble, asking for forgiveness. "For what?" they say. "For everything" The past four years have been a triumph of self loathing, of learning to apologize while regretting saying sorry. I have felt I am not even a person without a bottle or a pill. I do not know where my story began, and where I wish it ended. But I am slowly learning to be okay, to accept myself, I think that is why it has taken me such a long time to write. The thing is, I don't know who I am, I have been a couple different souls: some are weak, some are strong, some are as passive as ocean sand. I'm 22, female, and lost. I have contemplated death many times, I've attempted it even more. If you are still reading I applaud you. Bless your soul. Sincerely, Still alive

0

Dec 29, 2016

Dec 29, 2016 at 6:48 AM UTC

Sincerely, Still Alive

I knock on the door, shaking. They answer, tell me to come in. "I am not my self" I say. "That's okay" they say. I hesitate, brace for impact. "Its okay" they say. I stumble, asking for forgiveness. "For what?" they say. "For everything" The past four years have been a triumph of self loathing, of learning to apologize while regretting saying sorry. I have felt I am not even a person without a bottle or a pill. I do not know where my story began, and where I wish it ended. But I am slowly learning to be okay, to accept myself, I think that is why it has taken me such a long time to write. The thing is, I don't know who I am, I have been a couple different souls: some are weak, some are strong, some are as passive as ocean sand. I'm 22, female, and lost. I have contemplated death many times, I've attempted it even more. If you are still reading I applaud you. Bless your soul. Sincerely, Still alive

15

I find you in hidden places Woven inside me Like the stitches of a quilt I am not whole without your memory Incomplete with what you left I have built myself around your absence But you remain.

0

Nov 15, 2016

Nov 15, 2016 at 1:47 AM UTC

Patches

I find you in hidden places Woven inside me Like the stitches of a quilt I am not whole without your memory Incomplete with what you left I have built myself around your absence But you remain.

7

Cover me in chamomile kisses And lukewarm lullabies I'll dance in the haze of your eyes

0

Oct 24, 2016

Oct 24, 2016 at 2:50 AM UTC

2 am