money flies from my palm as if it's endless
(I know better yes - don't tell my mother)
I eat as if I am endless
whiskey in my cup cash only in my wallet
sitting in a place to witness time instead of the other way around
she tells me when I'm with you the trees are brighter
and I have no idea what that means
but we drink to it
our stomachs hurt collectively
everyone is figuring out what is wrong with their bodies
while failing to enjoy having a body
tirelessly picking it up place to place
bathing it brushing it picking at it
trying to change it's shape berating it
train drags along its tracks
floating gently in my last cocktail
lonely as a sardine
quiet as past midnight local
carrying so many Cinderellas, so many not-Cinderellas
what is underneathe the peeling paint?
oh
just the bridge
sometimes it's just me and the bodega ATM having a hushed conversation in the corner
sometimes it's just me and the sunday smell of laundry soap
Jan 25
Jan 25, 2026 at 4:11 PM UTC
We should have avoided the cracks in the sidewalk
for the sake of our mothers backs
we should have cut ourselves off at 4 drinks
left room for dessert
and told you everything
a little bit sooner
we should have taken more pictures
not of the sky or the food
the playbill or the marquee
but of your hands, and your knees, your calves streaked with sand, back burnt from sun brow wet with sweat fly away early greys
you are so hard for someone made of such soft things
we should have taken more pictures
of the sun on your pretty face
of the dirt collecting in your fingernails
your ears twisted towards the unknown sound
and not just every time we were in the clean water
but in the muk together
Jan 25
Jan 25, 2026 at 4:06 PM UTC
mercy throws open the windows
drops the key down the drain
scrubs the afterglow off until my skin is raw
red
I asked the snake if it always hurts like this
Always.
Jan 22, 2022
Jan 22, 2022 at 5:52 PM UTC
with you
it's like a game of freeze tag
every time you touch me
I stop in my tracks
and immediately
begin the slow process
of melting
Dec 21, 2020
Dec 21, 2020 at 8:32 PM UTC
My roommate did a juice cleanse
He looked and felt so good So I did the same.
Chugged nothing but holy water for a week. Left the water in the beam of the newmoon. Tried to flush the bad out of me. I asked my tired liver to do more. Tried fire. Tried sage. Tried charcoal. Tried swallowing stones in hopes they’d grind up what I couldn’t get rid of. Tried pulling my teeth out So my bite marks couldn’t be traced back to me
I wrote I WASNT HERE
in hopes even id believe it
but these are the hands that hit and smothered and signed
these are the lips that cut and lied
there was nothing to clean but my body
and even then I sometimes like the way I smell without soap
I am re learning faith in my own fingers
Leaps of it through my wrecked knees
Trust falls into myself
Chug chug chug. Drown drown drown.
the good and the bad mixed into a dark chocolate batter
tonight I eat the whole cake
Dec 12, 2020
Dec 12, 2020 at 11:53 PM UTC
When I am stressed I imagine I am a whale
In the middle of the blue ocean
I am not big - I am the perfect size
For a whale
I swim in water that does not fight me
My body was made for my home
I sing and it is always in chorus
I eat simple meals that nourish me completely
that I strain thru my gorgeous bristle teeth
I don’t own a toothbrush
Because I am a whale
I am fast but slow but I don't know of these words
I rest when I need to
I sing when I need to
I travel the globe and sometimes visit the beach not unlike people
but it is my planet
and my planet is blue
Dec 12, 2020
Dec 12, 2020 at 11:50 PM UTC
I sit next to you
without
being close
And I can feel
my atoms start to pull towards you
Your gravity is stretching me open
Slow and steady and inevitable
the universe expanding
Man made fences
but with you
I am open pasture
Ever bigger ever green
Ever being
So I give my molecules permission
Every single one
To pull me apart
Dec 12, 2020
Dec 12, 2020 at 11:49 PM UTC
you said
"snow makes everything pretty"
so the second it started to get cold
I went outside and waited
Dec 7, 2020
Dec 7, 2020 at 10:02 PM UTC
Got stirred up to foam
trying so hard to dissolve
all the sweet
back into me
Dec 7, 2020
Dec 7, 2020 at 9:49 PM UTC
I kiss my palm
wave it goodbye
place my hand on my heart
and swear
I am my own sun
I gotta rise eventually
Dec 7, 2020
Dec 7, 2020 at 9:48 PM UTC