I tried
I truly did
But now I'm left
Sitting here wondering
If recovery is
Even plausible.
This has been my life
For almost six years
And how do you
Give something up
After that long?
People say that there's hope
But I can't seem to see
any left in
Pandora's beautiful box,
There's no hope for me.
Do you see now,
Just how desperate I feel
How alone
How scared
I just want to be free.
Feb 25, 2015
Feb 25, 2015 at 11:46 AM UTC
It's Christmas day
Everyone's smiling
Everyone's fake.
Joy is lacking,
Emptiness is raging,
and no one cares
about anyone,
just everyTHING.
Why have we gotten
So superficial?
What has come
To the world,
That we should behave,
In such a way?
You get everything on your list.
It's still not enough.
You should be content,
But your fake smile
Is the closest thing
To happiness you know.
Your family is together,
But that may truly be
A bad thing.
Because, suddenly,
No one is themselves,
And you're all transforming
Into little Barbie dolls.
This Christmas,
Just like all of the last,
You ask yourself,
Why isn't it enough?
Well, I'll tell you why.
You're focusing on the wrong,
And not the right,
The bad,
Rather than the good,
Santa,
Rather than Jesus.
Dec 25, 2014
Dec 25, 2014 at 9:05 PM UTC
Our relationship became a game,
We both needed to win
We were on the same team,
But still competed against each other
Almost killing ourselves while trying
Who could be the thinnest
Weigh the least
Eat the least
Take up no space
We were helping each other die
And then we helped others
Do the same to themselves
My hair is falling out
But all I can think,
Is maybe that will make
The number go down
But whoever wins this game
Will really lose,
In reality
We all will lose
She killed us
Took four teenage girls
To their premature grave
And used us,
To take many more.
Are we happy yet?
No, we are skeletons,
but we believe we are whales.
We are murders,
Teaching wannabes
How to be,
But we claim to be helping.
Life is not a game,
and we need to stop treating it
As if it is.
We need to value life,
To stop playing the game
Before we end up
Six feet under.
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014 at 3:13 PM UTC
To everyone who called me fat,
You are why I'm doing this
Starving myself to bones.
To everyone who called me a ****
You are why I'm doing this
Throwing myself at guys.
To everyone who called me ugly,
You are why I'm doing this
Spending hours getting ready in the morning.
To everyone who hurt me,
You are why I'm doing this
Why I don't trust, or even get touched.
To everyone who used me,
You are why I'm doing this
Why I have long sleeves covering the cuts, which represents the pain.
To everyone who loved me,
Too much to use cruel words
You are the reason I'm still alive.
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 12, 2014 at 1:53 PM UTC
I'll be thin.
If it kills me,
Then so be it.
I'll be perfect.
If it kills me,
Then so be it.
I'll be beautiful.
If it kills me,
Then so be it.
I'll be good enough.
If it kills me,
Then so be it.
My bones will show.
If it kills me,
Then so be it.
I'll be happy.
But that only comes
With the things listed above,
And if it kills me,
Well, then so be it.
Dec 10, 2014
Dec 10, 2014 at 9:41 PM UTC
Caleb and Yeki
Layin' in a bed
One does a hand job,
The other does head.
First come tongue
Then comes ***
And we no what happens next,
There's a pregnant Yex!
Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014 at 10:08 PM UTC
Help me
I'm desperate
I have puke in my hair
Help me
I'm desperate
I threw up twice in an hour
Help me
I'm desperate
No one sees the pain I'm in
Help me
I'm desperate
Or is there even a point?
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 1:24 PM UTC
I'm so cold
I hate the snow
And now my skin
Is almost just as white
The number on the scale
Goes down by the day
Along with it
My energy
Hope
Love
Care
and life.
I'm killing myself
I understand that now.
I don't want to live like this,
but I know no other way
I long to fell peace
I long to feel free
And although I claim
That this life is giving it to me
It's really a lie.
And I'm in a cage.
Save me from myself
Please, I pray.
Save me from me,
because I might not see another day.
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014 at 1:50 PM UTC
I'm so happy right now
I'm dancing in my seat
A smile is glued
Onto my bright face
People are staring
Unable to get
Why I'm lost
In a world of joy
I couldn't explain why
So please don't ask
Just let me be
Let me dance
Let me scream
Let me smile
Let me be me
Even if
It's different than who
I often am
Sep 26, 2014
Sep 26, 2014 at 10:15 AM UTC
Another day
Another paper
Another test
Another way
To fix this mess
Another class
Another offer
Another teacher
Telling me I'll do great
Another college
Another price
Another world
One that I'm afraid of
Another day
I wake up
Another night
I go to sleep
Another test
I have to pass
Another paper
I have to write
Another style
I have to try
Just to try to get
Another college acceptance
Sep 25, 2014
Sep 25, 2014 at 5:03 PM UTC