I've kept everything around me alive,
Without doubt or reasons why.
I meet the needs without a try,
Of living beings under my eye.
Somehow regardless of my protest,
I age and learn to apply my best.
And-
Somehow I have grown to be,
The adult that I always need.
Aug 23, 2023
Aug 23, 2023 at 12:34 AM UTC
I’m about to **** up again,
With the **** my brain likes to,
Tell my head.
Repeated insults, the memories,
I’d be dead if it,
Were up to me.
Cyclical whispers,
Pushing me.
Demanding. Me.
Offer blood to the whisperings.
Offer sleep and **** and things.
Still hungry, I hear, for the life of me.
Please do shut up,
I cannot dream.
I run in fear and wake, and scream.
So tired though I rest all night.
So tired, won’t put up the fight.
I cave, I fold, I lose, I hold,
The whispers in my,
Heavy,
Soul.
Aug 2, 2018
Aug 2, 2018 at 11:31 PM UTC
Day old drinking glass turned to an ash,
Cup,
And the week rolling by does,
Fill it up,
And,
I watch the dirt build on the floor,
Stains I see on every door,
I ignore.
Dishes fill the kitchen sink,
I do not wash,
I do not think.
I do not care to,
Clear the days mess,
I am the days mess,
I am the filth and damages.
Another cigarette to the glass,
Another ***** day has passed.
I do not want to be,
Here.
Garbage thoughts in my,
Garbage,
Mind.
There is no will to try and find.
I am the day’s waste,
I crave,
to **** time.
I aim,
To end mine.
Aug 2, 2018
Aug 2, 2018 at 11:26 PM UTC
I'm crazy, you say,
When it's convenient for you.
Use my medication,
As an excuse.
Write me off like my feelings aren't real,
Say what you want because,
You have no fear.
Who would believe someone like me?
Cutting my wrists just to see myself bleed.
"You're crazy, you're mad."
Don't make me laugh.
Being with you is what's making me sad.
Feb 4, 2017
Feb 4, 2017 at 1:55 AM UTC
A cut, a straight line.
Bloodrush, I feel fine.
One for every lie.
One for every time he said goodbye.
Bloodrush.
I feel fine.
Push it down, deeper this time.
I hide my blade for another day.
I wear long sleeves to hide the shame.
Jan 29, 2017
Jan 29, 2017 at 11:45 PM UTC
You've grown older in the eyes.
Your words suggest otherwise.
Your hand creeps across the table's edge.
This is my que to meet you.
Not again, not this time,
A mother ******* millionth time.
"Take me home," my mouth relayed.
Before this I had always stayed.
Nov 10, 2016
Nov 10, 2016 at 9:33 PM UTC
Pieces of you cling to day.
I see you in the edge of vision.
It is night when you come home to me.
Yet when you speak, I cannot listen.
Nov 10, 2016
Nov 10, 2016 at 9:18 PM UTC
It's a deep breath in,
****** through the nose.
Gotta clear that airway for a straight line,
Of sparkling dust,
All crushed up.
She cleans off her library card,
Giving her finger a taste of pure snow,
Twisting up that twenty dollar bill.
Skin crawling with anticipation,
Take it all in,
Take it all in!
Oh god, that ******* drip.
God love this ******* thrill.
Dec 25, 2015
Dec 25, 2015 at 11:32 PM UTC
Daddy, take the long way home,
Tell me things about you that I don't know.
I love the look on your face when I remind you,
Of how you left me alone.
Your eyes are heavy,
Like you want to give up already.
I'll hold you here,
I'll hold you near.
Daddy, take me to the river where we cry,
Let me torture you and ask you why,
Don't run away, we're not finished here.
I want to see your face when you lie.
Your voice is low,
We're sad and I already know,
You're consumed with fear,
You're afraid they'll hear.
Daddy, don't get in that car,
I know once you do you'll drive pretty far.
Just confront it, you're not alone,
We can fight this war.
But your will is weak,
You start to freak,
Get away and leave me here,
Look back and watch me sink.
Nov 9, 2015
Nov 9, 2015 at 8:47 PM UTC
Your soul is empty of feeling,
This *** is empty of meaning.
My head is empty of reasoning,
My heart is not so forgiving.
Turns out every vile word was true,
******* me didn't mean **** to you.
A body is a prize,
Alive, to use.
And all the lies strung out for hours,
I tortured myself for a truth.
I had everything for proof.
Deny, deny,
But that was your **** in her picture.
That was your mouth on her body.
Your hands on her skin.
It was so funny when you thought you'd won,
Getting away with having twice the fun.
Smoothing it over with compliments,
"You motivate me to be a better person."
So full of **** I almost cried.
But you were so stupid it was easy to smile.
Oct 27, 2015
Oct 27, 2015 at 9:45 PM UTC